Well, I didn't do well, but it was a great and blessed year...

let's just get to the things that were carried over from 2010:

1. This is probably the most important one to me in 2011. I want to trust God and go where HE leads and go on a mission trip. I attempted this is 2010, but the trip was canceled. I have tried to not let this be completely discouraging, so I pray that God will provide an opportunity where He wants me to be, the passport is ready:)
UPDATE:: Oh yes, went to Haiti in October, it was an awesome, life-changing, challenging, and so much more.  The children have forever changed my heart, and I think about little Jazmine a lot.

2. Still working on this bedtime thing... I will go to bed earlier. My normal bedtime is 1:00 AM or later, so my goal is to get in bed by 11:00 PM each night.
UPDATE: Yeah, still can't get this, but always a work in progress.

3. I will get up and do my quiet time in the morning, instead of doing it at night.
UPDATE: Off work this week, for another seven or so days, so I am going to try and focus on this and start a new habit.

4. Running made it to the list last year ( I did learn that I will never be a sprinter), but this year my goal is to actually complete a 5K. My goal is to complete one in the cooler months, as I hate to be extremely hot, hehe. [ I do think I am going to need someone to run this with me to hold me accountable. ]
UPDATE: Well, I ran a 5K in March:) Don't worry I didn't finish first, but I didn't finish last. My main goal was to not walk, it had about seven big hills, so I did take like 10 or so steps (walking), but overall I was so proud of myself. Running will never be my favorite thing, but maybe another one in 2012:)

5. Sewing thing, needs improvement. I need lessons, maybe I will take a class. Seriously, I want to get better at this, it means so much to me because my grandmother was so good good. The dress I wanted to make last year didn't happen, so maybe this year.
UPDATE: I did take a beginner's sewing class, learned a few things, but I need to continue.  Hoping a girl from church, Noelle, will teach me this week:)

6. Make turkey and dressing this year. We will see who will let me be this adventurous, hehe.
UPDATE: Yeah, let's move on.

New this year:

7. Since I tried a new food every month last year, this year I will cook something new every month. If I can try a new food still, that would be awesome. I am sure after seeing the new foods list, you know there are many foods out there I still haven't tried.
UPDATE: Well, the first five months, Lindsey and Crystal were onboard with me, we would alternate who cooked the main dish and it was awesome. With Crystal's wedding in June that made June super busy, but I have been cooking new thing on my own:) I will show pictures at the end of the year!

8. To go zip lining with my family. I am somewhat cheating on this one, as my brother Chris and I got this for him for Christmas:) I cannot wait though, it is going to be so much fun. I will also go with my friends, as we had talked about this, and it is so much, so why not?
UPDATE:  This didn't happen, but maybe next year.  My parents went without me, haha.

9. Complete the Crown Financial Class, as I want to make smarter financial choices.
UPDATE: Did this and learned so much. I need to apply these principals daily:)

10. Create a collage of old pictures of my great grandparents, grandparents, and parents in my stairwell. I am very excited about this project, as my Momaw and Popaw Abby (great grandparents) , my Momaw Saine (great grandmother), and Mom (my grandmother) meant so much to me.
UPDATE: Did this and oh my gosh, I love walking down my staircase now... these pictures make my heart smile.

11. Give blood as many times as I can in 2011. As many of you know, my grandfather was diagnosed with a type of lymphoma this year and had to have several blood transfusions. I only gave blood like once in 2010, and it is really such a simple thing I can do to help so many who need it. It really could save someone's life... if helped my grandfather!!!
UPDATE: Found out I am a candidate for double reds, so yes I have already given once, you actually can't give as often as a double reds, but my next appointment is in August. Unfortunately, I will not be able to give for a year once I go to Haiti, but I will start again after that year.

12. Read a book a month. To most of you, you are probably thinking that is nothing, but I am really not a big fan of reading.... I am just a slow reader. January = the me I want to be, February = Mark of the Lion Series, then I'll see how I am doing, hehe
UPDATE: Well, I have not done so well in this category, but I did read Heaven is for Real and Sweet Caroline and yes that is all, haha.  Just started One Thousand Gifts.

13. Work resolution: I am going to try EXTREMELY hard to do my reports ahead of time and not on the last day, no more procrastinating. I think this will be huge for my work/life balance and going to bed earlier.
UPDATE: Didn't have a single late report this year, except when I was without a computer, sometimes this is more challenging than one would think.

14. Challenge myself to not eat out for a whole week, not one time. Also, to most, this probably wouldn't be hard, but for a girl who doesn't like cooking and doesn't think much of eating out every day (especially because I am out of town most days for my job), this will not be easy. If I get good, I'll try to do this once a month.
UPDATE: Kasey and I did a no-spending challenge and I did it:) I only ate out once that whole week for Kathryn and Gilbert's graduation, woohoo:)

15. Only allow myself two starbucks a week. It will help me save money too.
UPDATE: Well, yeah this problem is out of control, haha. Completely 100% addicted to my starbucks.  I didn't have it the whole week I was in Haiti.  In addition, I went two whole weeks without caffeine, but I am still quite addicted.

16. Be a little more confident when it comes to guys, I am sure all of my good friends are laughing at this one, as we all know this has never been something I have been good at... maybe we can all pray together on this one or maybe it will provide more funny stories.
UPDATE: God has a plan, and has been working on this one for a while.  I am thankful for all that has happened this year and for the lessons I have learned.

17. Watch an old movie that I haven't ever seen before (1 a month ) there is a list so long it isn't even funny:: Braveheart, Lord of the Rings, Big, Sixteen Candles, Star Wars, Iron Man, etc
UPDATE: I have watched the following so far:: Sixteen Candles (loved it), Breakfast at Tiffanys (didn't really care for it), Men of Honor (cried the whole time), Can't Buy Me Love and I know there have been more but I can't think right now... but I have watched so many new movies, just couldn't get motivated with some of those old ones

18. Lose 10 more pounds, don't worry this is a personal goal and if I don't, I won't lose any sleep over it, but I do want to lose these 10 pounds to be at an ideal weight for my height.
UPDATE: Yeah, still need to lose those, they are stubborn.

19. Try a yoga class, probably going to stay away from a hot yoga class, haha.
UPDATE: Does it count if I did yoga with Casey at her house?  Will try it next year.

20. Try five new restaurants this year. Should make it more, but we will start with five.
UPDATE: Nolen Kitchen and Italian Pie

21. Get up two days a week, possibly Wednesday and Thursday, and workout before work. Maybe I could do another boot camp:) It was great discipline and got me out of bed.
UPDATE: hahahahahah

22. Go to the mountains, enjoy a hike, and take in God's beauty. Prefer to do this with friends:) Let's plan a trip.
UPDATE: Sad that this didn't happen, maybe next year.

23. Make my bed each day, sounds silly for someone who keeps her house extremely clean, I mean, I am OCD about the cleanliness of my house, but this is the one thing that I do not do, haha. So, when I get up, I will make my bed daily:)
UPDATE: Maybe next year, goodness, as clean as I am, you would think I do this daily.

24. Start reading the Bible all the way through, I'm staring Jan. 1. I'm going at my own pace and excited to learn more and grow.
UPDATE: Still need to do this.

25. Spend quality time with grandfather. He is the only grandparent that I have left.
UPDATE: Love the time I do spend with him whether it is on Sundays or Saturday at BBQ King:)

26. Visit a new city, preferably for fun, not for work:)
UPDATE: Oh YES, Kasey and I went to Denver, CO for our birthdays, and I had never been to Colorado.  We saw a few mountain towns, Red Rocks State Park, stayed in downtown Denver, etc... it snowed 2 days, and I was in heaven:)

27. I haven't scrapbooked much in 2010, get back to it, I really enjoy it.
UPDATE: Started making one for 2011, and hope to have it finished by the end of the year, I have lots of time off this week.  Not quite finished, but it will be soon.

28. Be more spontaneous/maybe we will go with adventurous... just go with the flow. I can be creative with this one, I'll blog about my adventures in 2011.
UPDATE: Don't know what I have done that is spontaneous or adventurous, haha

29. Simple: Be more thankful, you only get one life and I shouldn't spend my life dwelling on what I do not have, but thanking God for all the blessings in my life.
UPDATE: I am so unbelievably thankful for my family, friends, job, my church, and the opportunities that I have each day:) I need to remember this more often:)

ashley

saturday's post belongs to my friend ashley!  i met ashley in my raleigh small group, and today i am so thankful i did.  she is one of the sweetest, caring, and thoughtful people i know.  i remember the sweet, sweet cards i got from her (and still do for my birthday) when i first moved to charlotte.  it was so nice to receive cards or calls from friends, as i didn't know a lot of people when i first moved here.  ashley is also lots of fun and makes me laugh.  we recently went on a food tour of downtown durham for our friend kaleena's bachelorette party, and seriously, i haven't laughed as much as i did with her and heather in a long time.  ashley is a great friend, and i am so thankful that i met her in my old group.  love ya girl.

natalie

(should have been on friday) today i am thankful for my friend natalie.  we have been friends since 3rd grade, when she moved to lincolnton and her dad became the pastor of our church.  we have had some great memories over the years, and lots of great pictures from the awkward years that neither of us probably want to surface:)  natalie's dad moved their family from lincolnton to charlotte when we were in the 10th grade, it was such a sad day for all of us, but we have remained friends over the years.  natalie and her husband trent live in concord, so sometimes it is nice that we can get together for lunch or dinner.  she just had a baby, well he is actually a year old now, which has been exciting.  natalie is a great friend who is there for me when i need her and i have lots of fun with her.  thankful for my friend, natalie today:)

love to TTEAM, but especially tracey

so, this next post belongs to a very special woman in my life.  i met tracey the summer after my junior year of college.  i responded to an add in The Daily Tar Heel for babysitting, and what a blessing that has been in my life.  at the time, she has two boys, who were quite possibly the cutest two boys on the planet.  i started watching her boys (aidan and matthew) and fell in love with their family.  a year or two after that, they added to their family with a precious little girl, ellie.  i watched ellie from the time she was six weeks old.  aidan was always very helpful, being the oldest!  matthew stole my heart from the minute i met him.  he always wanted me to read books and lay with him until he fell asleep.  as he got older, he would laugh at me when i read pokemon books, as i always mispronounced the characters and words, haha. clearly i didn't study up on poke balls before heading to their house.  when i go visit now, he still brings it up and laughs.  oh how i love that kid.  ellie is so great.  i loved watching her as a baby and watching her grow up. 


okay, i got side-tracked talking about tracey's great kids, but i was going to talk about how thankful i am for tracey.  even though i do not live in raleigh anymore, we have stayed close.  she has always been so supportive, encouraging, and kept in touch with me no matter how busy life can be.  she works part time and has three young kids.  i travel like crazy for my job and don't always get to see them at every raleigh visit, but we have still stayed in touch and for that i am so thankful.  when i decided to go on my mission trip to Haiti, i couldn't wait to tell tracey and her husband tom.  i knew they would be completely supportive.  they sent me emails and texts about my trip, and i am not sure that i could ever tell them how much it means to me. 


today i am thankful for tracey and their whole family.  when i lived in raleigh, they were like family to me, as i was away from mine.  now, they are still like family to me, and i am so glad they are a part of my life.  love you, TTEAM!!!!

logan, my carolina girl

this next post belongs to logan:)  i met her one night at christine's and it is just a small world.  she is from shelby, and knows my college roommate holly and one of my other roommates over a summer, jay chitty (his sister hayley chitty is logan's best friend).  lastly, we both went to carolina and were there at the same time; however, she did graduate a few years before me.  all the ways logan and i should have known each other, was funny, but this was the first time i was meeting her, in charlotte:)  obviously, i loved that she was as big of a carolina fan as me.  also, i find it comforting when i meet someone from a small town, don't know why, but maybe it just makes me feel like there are more people like me:)  i know i am silly.  logan is a great friend, has a big heart, and i am thankful that i met her 2 years ago when i moved here.  in those two years, she has gotten married, and is about to have her first baby:)  we can't wait to meet emma gray in a little over 5-6 weeks:)  love ya girl.

christine's turn

this next post belongs to christine.  should have been on tuesday.  i met christine shortly after meeting kasey, as she goes to forest hill and was in kasey's lifegroup.  christine immediately welcomed me into a large group of people and made me feel as though i had known people for years.  being new to a city, she made meeting new people so easy, which i really appreciated.  christine and i are very similar in that we are big planners, very organized, and like to do things for others:)  christine got married last year, and her mom even made me a purple dress, so thoughtful that they made me a dress in my favorite color:)  i was glad to help out on her special day.  christine is a good friend and i am glad to have her in my life.  love ya girl!

kaleena, this post is for you:)

monday's post belongs to kaleena!  sorry this is late, but better late than never.  i met kaleena through candice in my small group in raleigh.  kaleena is such a caring friend; we instantly clicked and have been great friends since.  i've always said and remembered michael w. smith's words from his song "friends,"  friends are friends forever if the Lord's a Lord of them.  if God is in the center of your friendships, they are definitely meaningful:)  not to say others aren't, but you know that God orchestrated you to be friends with this particular person.  this is how i feel about all of my friends in my old small group (heather, ashley, candice, and kaleena.)   there isn't a topic in the world that you could bring up that kaleena doesn't know somtehing about.  it is actually quite entertaining, haha.  kaleena also talks more than me, which is a huge feat, but these are two of the reasons we love her more.  she is a school teacher, and a great one at that.  she calls and prays for me often, which i sincerely appreciate.  today, i am thankful that even though she has a LOT on her plate being a newlywed and so busy in her job that we are still close.  love you girl!

sure thing or cheryl

sunday's post belongs to my friend cheryl.  i met her one random night shortly after moving to charlotte, she had just returned from a trip to vegas for her 30th and was giving out hugs and saying hello and hugged me (never meeting me before),  i kind of turned around and was like, oh hey i am kelsey.  ever since then we have been friends, what an ice breaker!  cheryl is very thoughtful, makes everyone laugh, and has a great personality.  there isn't much she won't say; even runs her mouth like nothing i have ever heard about my heels, but i let it slide.  cheryl also is one of my only friends that braved black friday with me a few years ago, well we dragged whit with us (note to self:  she doesn't handle crowds well).  cheryl and i loved it and made it a whole day, this is probably one of my favorite memories with cheryl.  unfortunately, whit got the nickname of angry elf after that, but cheryl and i are now sugar and spice.  i've enjoyed getting to know cheryl over the past two years or so; she has such a big heart.  cheryl is now in my group at new charlotte, and i am so glad.  i have really enjoyed having her in the group and getting to spend more time with her. 

the "j" to that "pb" or holly to most

so my next post (should have been saturdays) belongs to holly beam or specht now.  she is one of a kind.  i met her over the years in middle/high school as she was one of the many sets of twins that went to west lincoln, but known more because they had curly red hair (gotta love small towns).  we became better friends my senior year at school of tech, then went to carolina together.  we actually lived together junior year, with my friend kelly:)  holly is one of the most caring people i know.  she will do anything for you, but she is also very set in her ways, haha.  holly is a diehard carolina fan, and since graduation, she has gotten some great unc basketball tickets which i have gotten to cash in on:)  i had a huge part in holly meeting her husband (they dated for nine years before he finally proposed), but the important part is that they are married now!  today i am thankful for holly, how she makes me laugh, how much fun i have with her, and how caring she is.

hayley (or PB to some)

so, friday's post should have been to my friend hayley or as lindsey and i like to call her, "PB."  if you are wondering what PB stands for, it is president beam, you see she has a twin sister, holly and we called her J.  hayley always bossed holly around, so it was quite fitting at the time:)  hayley has such a big heart.  she would do anything for anyone, but the only problem is, she may not be on time (haha, sorry had to get that in there.)  you see, she is known for ALWAYS being late to everything!  in college, holly, hayley, lindsey, and i were quite the foursome... we did a lot of stuff together freshmen year, especially.  we cooked every tuesday or got wings from buffalo wild wings and watched gilmore girls, it was our tradition and i loved that time that we all got to spend together.  hayley ended up going to nursing school in charlotte, so holly and i had to hold down the fort.  hayley and her husband charlie are the best hosts at the lake and they have the sweetest little girl, savannah:)  i am so thankful for my carolina-loving, always hilarious, and loving friend hayley.

michael michele, this one is for you

so, this post belongs to my friend michael michele (should have been on thursday)... before you think i spelled her name wrong, she actually spells it with only one "L."  i met michele for the first time, i believe, my freshmen year of college.  i think she was in a bible study group with some girls i knew; however, we didn't really start hanging out until my junior year.  michele is a great friend, who is really good at giving advice and downplaying whatever i may be blowing out of proportion:)  after college we all lived in the raleigh/cary area, but michele went to PT school at western.  i will never forget, michele got me to ride horses in the mountains, what a cool experience!  michele met her husband will at western and they are now married and live in raleigh, i enjoy getting to catch up with her when i go to raleigh for work or whatever fun event we have going on.  they are always so accommodating and let me stay in their spare room if needed.  michele is a dear friend; i am so glad that we have stayed in touch even though we haven't lived in the same city for quite a few years.  love you girl!

my friend valerie

my work computer crashed, so these posts are a bit behind, because i just got home tonight.  so, bare with me as i catch up:

so, today's post (should be wednesday) belongs to my friend valerie.  we actually met when i was a pharmacy tech at the drug store and she was the pharmacist, she is only about ten years or so older than me, but she is like an older sister to me.  she even wrote my letter of recommendation to pharmacy school (too bad i didn't have the grades to back up her stellar recommendation, haha).  we have stayed friends all throughout the past ten to twelve years, which have been full of so many changes.  she helped encourage me through the difficult chem classes at carolina (she is a UNC grad as well, woohoo), she left the drug store and started working in the hospital/clinic setting, and she had a baby (best story ever).  she was basically told that the chances of her having a baby were slim to none, but God had other plans, and after years of infertility, her and her husband welcomed a baby boy on February 1, 2006... best day ever!!!  i have never been more happy for a couple in my whole life.  we had prayed for that baby more than anything.  davis is the cutest thing, and so smart.  earlier this year, i got to go watch him play basketball, so fun to catch up with val and see her little boy playing with his team:)  thanks for being a great friend val, love you.

Finally, the last three days (days 6-8) in Haiti

so sorry this has taken me forever to post, but work has been out of control, for real...

so on Thursday (Day 6) we got up and had our breakfast at the crack of dawn, i'm still kind of in shock that my body got so used to getting up that early.  our plan for the day was to visit another orphanage that ESMI partners with, Casamajor.  most of our girls (the teenagers) absolutely did not want to go, as they had fallen in love with the kids at Cambry and the thought of having to leave their favorite kids was not going over well.  many discussions were had, but in the end, it was determined that they would go with us.  i think it was good for them to see another orphanage, as this one was completely different than Cambry, where we had been staying.


on our drive over to the orphanage, which was absolutely BEAUTIFUL, we had to stop at a convenience store, for some reason.  jackson decided to hop off of the bus and see if they had any cokes.  beth and mary alice wanted a diet coke, but unfortunately they did not have any diet cokes, but they had regular ones.  so, jackson was able to get all of us some coke and sprite, what a treat:)  i am not even trying to lie, that coke was delicious.  it maybe had a bit of a funny taste, but that carbonation was so, so, so GOOD.  we arrived on the grounds of Casamajor, and one of the roads was washed out, so half of the guys jumped off the bus and the driver literally had to reverse it for about 1/4 or more to get us to the door of the orphanage.  to say that some of us were praying for our lives at that point would be an understatement, but after surviving the bus ride from the day before, i didn't think it could get any worse.  honestly, i think i was growing accustomed to this erratic driving and the fact that roads would just be washed out and there is no back up system... you make it work, somehow.  through God's grace and provision we got to all of our destinations in that trusty old school bus, but it sure did provide some entertainment and some laughs after the fact.


we unloaded all of our medical supplies for the clinic, and realized that we had two very small rooms, for four doctors to see patients and for me to set up shop for pharmacy.  luckily they did have a table, but unfortunately it only had three legs, so we needed to set it up against a wall for balancing purposes.  no chairs were available, so we used buckets!  we didn't have running water or power at this location either, and at first were told that we would not be able to use the generator that we brought, as they didn't have enough fuel for it.  i think jackson worked that out, THANK YOU JACKSON, so we had some fans to help circulate the airflow.  jackson and patrick were seeing patients in the room where i was.  most of kids just needed meds for diarrhea, nothing to serious, but then patrick saw this guy who had been diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2008.  for three years he has just been suffering, obviously, no hope for treatment.  this man had eyes that would melt your heart and he was probably about 85.  my grandfather is only a few years younger than this man, and my heart immediately broke into a million pieces.  this man, was so sweet.  he looked at me and said, with a smile that would also melt your heart, "i'm sorry i cannot speak english."  i simply smiled back and said "no problem, Patrick can help you."  Patrick said, this was the sweetest, least demanding patient he had seen all day.  He said, all he wants is some kind of relief for pain and maybe something for heartburn.  Are you kidding me?  Here is a man who has cancer, has had it for three years, and all he is basically asking for is tylenol and heartburn medication?  I filled his prescriptions with tears in my eyes, trying not to let him or Patrick see that I was crying.  Talk about putting things into perspective though... I prayed that this Tylenol would give him such relief and alleviate his pain.  Patrick did give him a diuretic too in an attempt to help out, but I cannot get that man's face out of my head.  Kevin and Tony (what a pair) were in the other room, and providing constant entertainment as always.  They saw several little kids as well, and some of the adult patients.  We saw a lot of people that day, while Lisa was busy pulling teeth.  There wasn't a day that went by that Lisa wasn't busy from the minute she started until we had to make her quit.  I think she had a hard time this day though, as she had to turn away a sweet lady that she literally ran out of time for.

We got back on the bus to return to Cambry, and most of us dosed in and out of sleep, as we were pretty exhausted from a long day.  We went back to Cambry and had dinner, don't have my journal out as I am typing this, so I can't remember what we had.  We had a great wrap up session this night, and I am so thankful that God put 16 strangers together and yet we all have worked together so well.

Friday morning (Day 7), our plan was to have the medical clinic open for half of the day and then if it all went well we were going to get a taxi (can we say scary) and go to the beach.  Well, mother nature had other plans for us, haha.  It poured all day long.  Early that morning, the vendors came to sell us some Haitan items, which was great, and I got use my bargaining skills.  The Roper girls were laughing at me, saying I was acting like their dad.  I said, I know how this works.  Kristen on the other hand did not have this skill at all:)  Don't worry I wasn't cheating them at all, just trying to not pay an arm and a leg for something.  We were able to follow up on patients Juaques and Kristen had been seeing all week, give out last doses of meds to the little ones, and clean up a little at the clinic.  We did close the clinic around 1:30ish and thought we were going to head to the beach.  We all went up to the guest house and changed, but then the taxi left as the rain started coming down harder.  I guess our thought process was, we were already wet, so why not just go enjoy the beach regardless.  It was probably a good thing we didn't go, as we never got power back this day, so we had to pack all of our stuff up, as we were heading to the airport at 3AM and it would have been extremely difficult to pack in the pitch black dark.


We had a nice meal (delicious rice, beans, doughnut things, plantanes, and maybe other things that I didn't eat) on the last night.  We all went to shower and get in bed, as we knew that 2:30 wake up time was going to be brutal.  The bus was on time to pick us up, so we all headed down the hill to depart around 3AM.  We stopped and picked up quite a few people (strangers to us) along the way, but finally arrived at the airport around 8:30/8:45 AM.  It was a long bus ride, but we were glad to be there:)  After the craziness that is customs/security/immigration whatever they call it, Juaques, Kristen, Patrick, Tony, Kevin, and me all went upstairs to get something to eat.  Anyone ever eaten a hamburger (in Port au Prince) at 9:30 AM, well this girl did.  Actually I ate about three bites of my "hamburger" as I am not quite sure what kind of meat it was, but my french fries had never tasted so good.  Some of the others got what I would call "pigs in a blanket," maybe I should have gone with that, but regardless, it was nice to have something other than rice and beans.


We landed in Miami and this is when we all started running around like chickens with our heads cut off.  We had very little time for this connection back to Charlotte.  The lines in customs were VERY LONG, but because many people were praying (thanks Kasey, Lindsey, and my parents) we made it to our gate and on our plane with like three minutes to spare.  We landed in Charlotte around 7:10 PM on Saturday evening, and my parents actually came to pick me up.  (Yes, those of you who know how much my parents like to travel are probably in shock.)  They took me to Chili's to eat, and it was the best meal.  I looked like I had not showered in days, but I did not really care.


Now that I have been back for a little over a month now, I am still processing all that I saw, all that I heard, all that I did... my heart and life are forever changed.  my friend Dana wanted me to share my top 5 about my trip, so I thought I'd post those to end all my posts on Haiti:

5. my team that i served with (God brought 16 strangers together and we were like family, all united for one cause to bring the hope and love of Jesus to these children, but they showed us His love too)

4. getting to do something that i am so good at, when i doubted that my gifts would be used before we went... i was a pharmacy tech in high school and early college, and i have great organizational skills, so on sunday we organized that whole pharmacy (it was a nightmare) and then i was basically like the pharmacist the whole week, and i jumped right back into it all week, it was wonderful to know that i was being used and my gifts were put to work

3. i had so much fear that i would not make it... many teams prior have had to have multiple members that have had to have IV fluids, lots of antibiotics and med needs due to how hot it is and just how tough the conditions are, but God totally allowed me to TRUST him and i survived, i didn't need IV fluids and i loved the food... it was not easy, but this girl, who loves the comforts of home made it and only had one little crying episode, haha

2. i was very scared to get close to the kids, as i am such an emotional person and i knew i would have to leave my heart in Haiti, but i fell in love with a little girl named Jazmine and she wasn't the most emotional little girl, she just wanted to be loved and held all week. at the end of the week though, she knew that we had to leave and just walked away after i told her i loved her and hoped to see her again, i asked one of the older kids, where she was going as i was fighting back tears, and he said, "to sleep." it was like God was telling me, i sent you this one, so it wouldn't be so difficult. she is such a little fighter, as she is one of 11 kids, and her mother died.

1. hearing the children sing Jesus Loves Me and Lord I Lift Your Name On High, it was like a glimpse of Heaven, we would sing in English and they would sing in Creole, we have no idea what language will be spoken, but to me that was like a picture/glimpse of what it will be like, all of us praising God:)
 
thanks to everyone for all the prayers, love, and support.  God is SOOO good!!!

Tuesday's post a little early:: Whit's turn:)

so, today my post belongs to my friend whitney, who i like to call whit:)  i met her about six months or so after moving to charlotte.  cheryl's post is coming, but cheryl, whit, and me all enjoyed hanging out and call each other angry elf, sugar, and spice.  note to all, whit is not the best shopper on black friday, hence the reason she has the name angry elf, but cheryl and i love her anyway.  whit is amazing friend; who listens to me ramble or gives great advice, as she tends to have good stories to relate:)  i was her and her husband's biggest cheerleader.  i got to be a bridesmaid in whit's wedding as well, which was a lot of fun!  unfortunately, after she got married, charlie's job was in maryland, so that meant that whit had to move too:(  while i miss our panera/chili's/mcalister's lunches dearly, i am so happy for whit and can't wait to visit soon.  the good news is that we get to catch up while whit is making her hour long commute, if you aren't seeing a trend on all of my posts, i love to talk on the phone.  we make good use of this driving thing.  i am thankful for my friend who truly cares and calls to check in all the time:)  excited for this season in her life, and will visit soon.  love you, whit:)

it's my long lost friend kelly's turn

so today i am thankful for my friend kelly.  kelly and i actually met because of my best friend lindsey (who went to carolina for two years), they had a class together.  i know God knew what he was doing when he put kelly in my life, as she was one of the very few Christian influences in my life in college.  seriously, at a time when i didn't think the church thing was that cool, she was one of my best friends in college and we would get out of bed on sundays and go to Chapel Hill Bible Church or go to crusade sometimes:)  i am so thankful for the fact that she had a positive influence in my life in college:)  kelly met her husband, matt, while we were in college, and i just think he is such a great guy.  i remember being their biggest cheerleader!!!  i was fortunate enough to get to be in their wedding a few years after we graduated!  kelly and matt now live in decatur, ga which isn't that close, but not too far.  we try to stay in touch by phone, but goodness we have not been doing so good lately.  the times when we do talk though it seems as if we haven't missed a beat.  she genuinely cares about what is going on in my life, her and her husband are very active in their church in atanta (so we talk about that), her sister lives here and i have babysat for her - so i rub it in when i get to see kelly's nephew (now she has a niece too), and i cherish the time we get to catch up.  kelly doesn't know this yet, but i just took a site in atlanta for my job, so that i could spend more time with her and get to catch up with her in person.  i can't wait to see her more often.  i miss her more than she knows.  she is such a great friend to me, and i don't think i tell her that often enough.  i am pretty sure i wouldn't have survived lindsey leaving UNC had it not been for kelly.  even though we are miles away from each other and life is busy, so we don't talk as often as i would like, i love you and am so thankful for our friendship!

nicole, this one is for you:)

so my next post belongs to nicole... now if anyone else is reading this, i really wish that you have had or will have the opportunity to hang out with nicole. she is literally one of the most entertaining people. if you put crystal and nicole together, you will probably get a dance routine of some sort, some crazy story, they'll probably go do some crazy prank on someone, or just have you rolling on the floor. something else you may not know, is that nicole is also my cousin. so, nicole and i have literally known each other since she was born, as i am about 7 months older than her. she grew up living right next door to my grandparents, so we saw a lot of each other! nicole has always been there for, especially when i have needed her. when my grandmother passed away, even though she was grieving too (she was her family too but also she grew up living right beside her, so they were really close, she was such an incredible friend to me during that time. i have so enjoyed all of our memories over the years, and cannot thank nicole enough for all the laughs.  love you, nicole. 

my amazing friend, lica

so, this next friend, i can say without a doubt God put in my life for a reason. lica has got to be one of the most encouraging person i know. lica and i first met through kasey, and we would casually talk, but about a year and a half ago, one night she had to ride in my car so i could take her to hers and we sat in my car as she ask me something and i just broke down... ever since then we have been extremely close! she calls really personal talks, "chunky talks," and i love it. we will meet for lunch or dinner and it is literally like two hours of a friend who can't get enough of all that is going on, a friend who has lots of life experiences to relate, and lots of encouragement. don't get me wrong, i try very hard to love on her and ask her things too, but she is so giving. at the women's retreat in charleston last april (2010), we were all having a night of reflection, really digging deep as to what God was trying to get us to let go of, and i can honestly say I could really feel God doing something in me... I went to the cross (they had one there for us) and laid down my biggest struggle in life (it was written on a card) and then went back to my seat. i was very emotional, praying, and just excited about letting go of what i had written on my card. lica stands up and comes over with a letter that she literally says to me, "i am not sure why, but God told me to write these words to you. it is very true though, and i love you." i am not kidding every single word on that page that lica wrote was God-breathed and exactly what i needed. i mean, the entire letter was on what i had put on my paper that i put on the cross (no one could have possibly seen my individual card)... i still have that SWEET, AMAZING letter and it is probably one of the MOST meaningful things i have today. i know God orchestrated the letter, but i cannot say thank you enough for obeying that call. lica loves me regardless and never judges me. she is the most amazing friend, and i am so thankful that God has blessed me with a friend in her. she is about to have a baby boy, and i am SO excited. i cannot wait to help spoil that little baby:) love you my sweet friend.

today's shout out belongs to bay

so today i am thankful for my friend bayley, who i met in college. sometimes i wish i had the energy or craziness that bay has... in college and for the three years afterwards that i lived in raleigh, we have so many memories where bay is the crazy one who ran up and hung out with the dj (nearly got us kicked out), found the tackiest decoration and wore it (shrimp necklace, huge sunglasses), and i was the motherly one trying to get her to calm down... maybe i should be more laid back, haha. at the same time bay is very caring and always give me great advice. i know i tend to lean on the dramatic side of life, but bay is my friend who isn't so dramatic, so it is great to have her to balance me out. since i have moved to charlotte, we have managed to stay close and i love our weekly phone chats (especially now that she has a longer commute home). when my grandmother passed away, without hesitation, her and holly came from raleigh, which meant more to me that they both probably know. bay also loves animals; which has always provided some humor in our friendship as i am deemed to be her dog and cat's "awkward aunt." seriously, give me a baby any day and i am good to go, but animals, so not my forte. i am thankful for all the memories (ridiculous halloween costumes, thanksmas dinners, and all things UNC - football and basketball). today i am thankful for my friend who listens to me go on and on, tries to calm me down when i can't seem to remember everything is not life or death, who encourages me, and who is one of my dear friends! love you bay!

my beautiful friend heather

so today i am thankful for my friend heather. i met heather in my small group in raleigh, through my friend candice (who already got her shout out). heather is like an older sister that i didn't have. she is very wise, and always had the best advice. heather has a story that God has used to show her His love, and through that she is able to share life experiences and encourage others (or at least I feel that way). heather was getting married when i first joined the small group, so it was a lot of fun to watch her as a newlywed with aaron (who is such an amazing man of God). heather had a little boy last November, and he is quite possibly one of the cutest little guys, so it has been such a blessing watching her become a mom and how amazing she is with james. i wish that i lived closer and could hang out with them more. heather is also very accommodating, as the first year that i lived in charlotte, i came back to raleigh quite frequently and aaron and heather let me stay all the time. aaron, her husband, always wanted me to sign the guest book, so cute. they always made me feel so welcome and cooked amazing food for me, if i didn't say thank you enough, i really do/did appreciate your hospitality. heather and i do not get to see each other enough, but i am so thankful for the times we do get to hang out when i come to raleigh for fun or for work, for the times we get to catch up on her commute home from work, and for the fact that we have stayed friends since i moved to charlotte. she genuinely cares for me, is a faithful prayer warrior for me, and is so encouraging. thanks heather for being such a great friend to me over the years. love you, my friend.

"JV" (nov. 9th post)

so today i am so thankful for high school friends that i have managed to stay friends with since i was 14:) in particular, today i want to talk about my friend jennifer. a lot of people would probably think she is pretty quiet, but she is such a great friend and when we get in our silly moods, we laugh so much and she actually talks a lot. i have to give jenn a lot of credit, as she is really good at calling and keeping in touch. jenn is probably one of the most determined people i know; when she sets her mind to something she does it no matter what. she had a goal/dream to be a nurse, and no matter who/what tried to stop her, she accomplished that goal and what a great day that was!!! since she is such a great nurse to her patients at the abernathy nursing home; i highly doubt i will ever be treated by her, but i can tell just by the way she talks about her patients that she is an amazing nurse. she has worked there since high school/early college as a CNA, then as an RN when she graduated... and recently got a great promotion:) for a period of time during college, jenn decided to move to winston salem (her sister lives there) and i had a site there for work that i had to go to every other week, so we got to do dinner nearly every week. it was so great to have dinner and catch up, as the four years of college for me, we had not had that opportunity. it doesn't matter if we haven't talked in a couple days or if it has been a week or so, we just pick right back up where we left off... i love that! today i am thankful for my friend i have had for nearly half my life, my friend who i can just be me and be silly with, my friend is always calls and wants to know what is going on and provides a listening ear:) thankful for you and love you, JV (jennifer virginia)!!!

boom boom pow

so today, i am thankful for my friend emily:) i met em when we were both in kasey's lifegroup. em is such a great friend to me; she challenges me, holds me accountable, and is passionate about things/people in her life. she is also a lot of fun, i mean we can go to a country concert and sing our hearts out, stop for an oreo mcflurry out in the middle of deliverence, and have the best time:) em has had to deal with a lot in the past year, and the way she has really relied on her faith in God and her relationship with God has been such a witness to so many. i love that em will talk to me on the phone for hours, when she has time too... she recently started a new job at elevation which has totally changed her life. she doesn't have a lot of free time, but she still manages to squeeze a call in here and there, which i am so thankful for. em was able to get me to face my fear of athletic conditioning and she was so ENCOURAGING to me. she would stay back with me and jog/walk when i couldn't keep up with the fast runners, and not let me get down. she may never know how much those few months of athletic conditioning meant to me, as i never thought i would be capable. em is such a wonderful friend and today i just wanted to say how thankful i am for her:) love you em!

candice, you made the blog

so today's (which should be nov. 7th) post is dedicated to my sassy texan friend candice:) you see, my story about meeting her has made the blog before, but she called me out for having a new coach purse during our mina project at church, and then we served in the nursery together that night...she invited me to her small group and that group changed my life more than they probably know. i could write a small novel, but she knows how depressed i was at the time, but God knew what he was doing when he put us on that bus together:) i was so encouraged spiritually, grew so much in my walk with God, and gained a dear friend during this time in my life. candice led me to kaleena, heather, and ashley as well, all of which i love dearly. candice is such a great friend. she will say whatever, and most of the time it is pretty hilarious. i remember relating to her in a lot of areas when i joined the group, but none other than being single. her desire to find her future husband was so clear. she prayed, had hope, and trusted that God would send him to her. candice has an amazing story of how she met her future husband while on a mission trip to belize:) now candice is so faithful to pray for her friends. even though i don't live in raleigh anymore, i love the times we get together to hang out and catch up. when God is the center of a friendship, you know that you will be friends for a long time no matter how long it has been since you last talked. candice is also very thoughtful. when i moved from raleigh, she made me a scrapbook, which was awesome:) she is the only friend to ever make something like that for me; i will always cherish it. she has recently started taking up photography and is absolutely fantastic; real talent there:) love you, girl.

my favorite J

i met jillian from my friend kasey, and she makes me feel so normal... we have so much in common, in that we both are neat freaks, love things to be neat and orderly, we LOVE organization, don't really like change, and like to plan...the list could go on:) jillian is such a great friend, and so caring. after my first lifegroup ended, i joined jillian's lifegroup. during this time, jillian and i got a lot closer. i loved that we had this time, as i would go early and we would eat dinner and just catch up about life, her wedding planning, family, or anything:) when she decided to step down as the lifegroup leader, which I fully supported, she needed a break and had lead for several years, i was kind of sad that we wouldn't have the time out of our busy lives. we are still very close, but we definitely don't get to see each other as much as i would like. we recently celebrated her wedding to jake, which was absolutely one of the best weddings. we got to wear cowboy boots, stay in a bunk room with all of us girls (SO MUCH FUN), and it was at a beautiful plantation home. i am so thankful for my friend jillian, that she cares, listens, and loves Carolina as much as ME:) oh, and one more thing, i love how detailed she is.. if you need a story retold and want every single detail, this is your go-to girl.

casey-c, so blessed (nov. 5th post)

so, casey-c and i have a great story as to how we met... so i moved to charlotte from raleigh three years ago (around september 2008) and casey moved to raleigh (from charlotte) about 3 years ago (i think around july 2008), so basically we switched... the best part though, God had plans for us to meet and be the best of friends and for that i am so thankful. casey is friends with kasey and jillian, which is how we managed to meet despite the fact that we moved around the same time and never lived in the same city at the same time. casey is the most caring friend in the world. she is similar to lindsey in the sense that she is always putting others first... she cares for others so much:) i have to go to chapel hill for work every 6 weeks or so and i ask if i could stay with case while there; literally she is the most accommodating and never complains that i am crashing and cramping her style. i love that we get to catch up, hang out, and spend some quality time together, as sometimes our weekends we all get together are just too short. i am so thankful that i have casey as one of my friends, and cannot say thank you enough for all the gchats when i should be working (i do still get my work done, hehe)... thank you for hotel of no top sheet, thank you for always making me see things from the non-dramatic side of life, and for loving me even though i am a bit dramatic, haha. so thankful for casey and love her so much. oh, i forgot one other thing, she so taught me how to crochet:) she has A LOT of patience. i really wanted to learn to knit, but she knew how to crochet (either one would be just fine with me), so one sunday after church she literally sat down and taught me for like three hours, the hardest part for me was learning how to start the chain, haha.

hp, not harry potter, that's holly patterson to you (nov. 4th post)

so, holly is my best friend from college... we lived together for three years after college, she has probably been the friend that has seen the most change in me, as she saw a big transformation in my life, but through all of this she has always been there for me and always been a great friend to me. holly is super loyal, dependable, and caring. she is such a good listener, followed by offering her opinion... i love that she takes it all in first:) even though we don't live in the same city, we have still managed to stay close. it has definitely been a transition, as we saw each other every day for so many years. i wish we had more time to visit each other, but we both know how much we love each other. our catch up phone calls tend to last a long time, which i love this time. i am so grateful that i have holly as one of my best friends:) recently, holly has been so supportive and praying for me, which means so much to me. i cannot thank her enough for being there for me during the rough times, during the great times, and for just being her:) you are the best, and i cannot wait to see her very soon. love her so much.

kasey-k (should have been nov. 3rd post)

so, today i am thankful for my best friend in charlotte kasey:) i met her just a few months after moving here, and without a doubt, i know God put her in my life for a reason. she is the wisest, most dependable, reliable, and loving friend ever. when i first met kasey, she was my life group leader. at this time in my life, i was in a point in my life, when i wanted to grow in my relationship with God and she was just the friend God sent to help me do just that. as many of you know, i tend to read things and not understand, between lindsey and kasey, i immediately know, especially when it comes to not understanding a Bible verse. kase has challenged me to do things and to trust God more. i remember we read a book in our group, Crazy Love. this book really made you think outside of the box and i had been praying for God to give me the courage, the faith to step up and give back. i was so scared to go on a mission trip, but kase was about to go to the Congo. by seeing the awesome experience that kasey had and how God showed up in mighty ways, by reading Francis Chan's book, and with support from her... as you know, i just returned from my first mission trip to Haiti. kasey listens to me tell the same story 100 times and never complains, for that i cannot say thank you enough. we can have fun cutting out art for the children on sunday morning, watching football games, going shopping, trying some new recipe (have i mentioned she is the best cook), going to disneyworld (can we go again, please), or pretty much anything! today i just wanted to say how thankful i am for my friend kasey! i can't imagine my life without her and love her to death.

continuing to be thankful, Crystal

so, this person has been my best friend since kindergarden. we played in mrs. bradshaw's sandbox together, we loved mrs. nixon in 2nd grade, we made it through the awkward years of middle school, we rode in each other's cars for the first time on the day we got our license, lots of memories together. we have cried over more boys, and goodness you would have thought life was ending many times, but i am glad our dramatic ways have kept us on our toes and provided laughs after the fact. crystal is my friend that will be there for me no matter, she is so loyal and always has my back. i find so much comfort in my friendship with crystal. there is no way i would be who i am today without her. she provides more laughs than any other of my friends, you cannot be around her and not laugh... put her and nicole together and you are probably crying you are laughing so hard. crystal and i didn't see eye to eye when it came to college, she wanted to stay home and i wanted to go away... i didn't want to be away from her, but knew that despite what everyone said, we would still be best friends... every chance i got in college, i went home and we hung out just like we hadn't missed a day. she came to visit and it was great:) i'm happy to say that ten years since high school, we are still just as close as we were the day i left for school, luckily now i live only about 45 minutes from lincolnton so we get to see each other more often. crystal has always supported me and been there for me no matter what. no matter what i am going through, no matter how upset i am, if i call her, she is there for me, and for that i cannot say thank you enough (i may have already called ten times before, but i'll try to say it differently each time, she still listens). crystal recently got married, and i was so worried that our friendship would change, but it really hasn't. i am so happy for her and dusty, think the world of him and so glad that she found the man God had for her. today, i just wanted to say thanks for being there for me, for loving me, and for being such a wonderful, loving friend to me:)

Thankful in November, the people that make up my life.... LJ

I guess November really makes us all think about how much we have to be thankful for, last year, I posted on here daily in November what I was thankful for, most people post it on FB, but I tend to be a bit wordy, so I'll do something similar this year. We all know things and people we are thankful for, so this year, I thought I would post about people in my life that God has blessed me with that I am thankful for. I hope I don't leave someone off, but here goes... I didn't post on November 1st, so here is what should have been posted on that day: Today I am thankful for my best friend Lindsey Jo. We all have friends that we have had forever, when we say that we can't remember a time when your weren't friends with this person, well Lindsey and I have that time, haha. We weren't that close until end of 5th grade/beginning of 6th grade. You see, we knew each other, were casual friends at school, but she didn't invite me to a birthday party in the 5th grade, so I will never let her live that down:) Something changed over that summer into 6th grade and we have literally been inseparable since... I can't think of ANYTHING (except the year she was in Kenya that Lindsey hasn't been at, every big moment in my life), and that girl is on my speed dial like you wouldn't believe. We fight like sisters, we laugh all the time, and we analyze lots. Lindsey is the definition of a best friend. There isn't a time when she hasn't been there for me, we literally talk more than most people talk to their kids, haha... I probably talk to her 4-5 times a day, some conversations last a minute, some hours... the best part, she hates to talk on the phone, but this is just a great example of how she is so giving, as she talks and listens because she knows I am a phone person. She knows exactly what to say to calm me down, because we know that I tend to be a bit dramatic at times. She is very wise, and always has an answer from a book... I could basically give her a book to read that I maybe wanted to read, she could read it and give me the cliff notes:) I don't know if I would make it without her as my best friend. There isn't a more loyal, supportive, trustworthy person on the face of this earth. She is the most self-sacrificing person I know. I am not sure how I got this lucky to have her as a best friend, but I am so thankful today and all days. I hope I am half of the friend she is to me to others:) Love you Lindsey Jo!!!

Haiti Mission Trip: Day 3-5

So sorry it has taken me this long, but work has been a bit busy and then I went out of town this past weekend, so let the story continue... Monday morning was our first day to run the clinic. Our morning started at 5:45 AM, because Kristen forgot to adjust her alarm the time change, so that provided a good laugh when Georgia, who is 11, corrected her:) We had oatmeal, bananas, bread, peanut butter, and jelly this day. I think this was the day I tried my first peanut butter and banana sandwich, not too bad. I couldn't really stomach the oatmeal, as it was basically the sweetest oatmeal you have ever tried, Kristen said, "it tastes like playdough," I thought that was funny, as personally I haven't ever tried playdough. Around 9 AM We headed down to the clinic with Jaques. Patrick, Tony, and Kevin all went to the hospital this day, so they let Jacques (family practice doctor), Kristen, Mary Alice, Beth, and me handle the clinic that day. It was a little overwhelming being the first day, but I was able to keep up and fill all the prescriptions. Beth and Mary Alice were the amazing triage team, and we couldn't have pulled it off without them:) Jaques and Kristen made quite the team, and they saw 38 patients that day. He even did some simple procedures, so that was pretty impressive, we quickly learned how valuable or appreciative the patients were for tylenol. Honestly, I had a moment back in the pharmacy thinking these people have waited in triage/waiting area for hours all for a bag of tylenol; something so many of us take for granted. A lot of the kids needed oral antibiotics, so I went back to the days of mixing up oral suspensions. In addition, we also had to mix IVs, so I used my knowledge from the oncology pharmacy at UNC Hospitals and was able to help in that area as well. We did not have power after about 2:30 pm this day, so imagine running a medical clinic with head lamps/lights and no running water, it was quite challenging at times. I had to hold a little baby to get her weight at one point during the day, who couldn't have been any older than 9 months and it hit me that she did not have on a diaper or anything, just a dress. Little things like this are an everyday thing there, but it was hard to process at times. We didn't think to take cloth diapers or any kind of diapers, and I felt so helpless. I gave lots of doses of tylenol to little kids, but one stood out, he was five years old and only weighed about 22 -24 pounds. He was so tiny, and I just wanted to pick him up, hold him, and feed him.

We returned to the guest house around 6, so this was quite a long day and we had dinner served by Mia. We had carrot slaw (which I really liked), rice and beans, fried plantanes, and meat balls. No one seemed to know what meat was in the meatballs, but I thought why not try it. It was the only meat that I tried the whole time. I didn't have another one. Our power was very spotty this night, but it finally came back on around 9pm and we were all able to shower and sleep:) Pastor Lewis came by to speak to us this night as well, while Jackson played a movie, Finding Nemo (in French) for the kids. They LOVED it:) Pastor Lewis was able to share with all of us the mission and vision for ESMI. Tuesday, Day 4, started at 6:30 AM. We had french toast for breakfast, can we say i loved it, oh yes:) I don't even get that at home, because I am too lazy to cook that in the morning. This was the day that Jazmine came to join me, she was such a great little helper. She would wipe down the pill counters with alcohol wipes or throw stuff away. I could tell she didn't feel well the first day, and all the days that I saw her, she was always so tired. I gave her a very small dose of tylenol and made her a palette on the floor, a concrete floor, made of a few surgical drapes and she slept there for like an hour. It was one of those things where you are happy that she is sleeping, but I was kind of sad that it meant that her sleeping conditions at the girls dorm are probably worse than a concrete floor. When she woke up from her little nap, I asked her if she knew Jesus Loves Me. She didn't talk very much, so I was expecting her to say no or not understand me, but she surprised me, and she started singing Jesus Loves Me in English first, then I asked her to sing it in Creole. It was beautiful. I had tears in my eyes, but quickly pulled it together. Patrick came in and tried to sing with us, but she got a little shy:)

When we got back to the house, we had dinner, which was rice with broth/sauce (yummy), squash, and beat salad, oh goodness I tried it but was not a fan, haha. Unfortunately, this was a rough night for me, as we lost power at maybe midnight and I just couldn't cool off. Wednesday morning I was so on edge, as I hadn't slept a lot, and still couldn't cool off, so I had a moment where I had to really put things into perspective. On a side note, some of my best friends had all written letters for me each day that I was there, so I will say this helped tremendously Wednesday morning. Wednesday, Day 5, we opened the clinic for half a day, as the second half of the day we were going to La Savan (sp) or the slums. The first four hours at the clinic were really hot, and I could barely cool off. A bus was waiting on us to take us, and I had a bad feeling. I didn't have any dramamine that day, and I was hoping/praying for the best. You see, the roads and traffic patterns (or lack there of) are a bit crazy, so the bus ride, the heat, and the bumpy roads provided a great combination for this girl to get a little lightheaded and sickly feeling. We arrived at the church plant, which is basically a warehouse, with no power, no bathrooms, and lots of people already waiting on us. I had to set up the pharmacy, but everything I did made me feel like I was going to pass out, so I had a moment when Kristen came up and was like, are you alright? I started crying and said I think I am going to pass out. All the docs and Kristen took great care of me, and got a fan off the generator and were fanning me with whatever they could find. They gave me their cold water, whatever it took. About 15 minutes I was back to normal. The heat there is no joke, yall. The medical team saw so many patients that we ran out of a lot of our medications, ran out of baggies to put the meds in, and we had to close the clinic around 4 in order to get back to Cambry. The poverty in this area definitely could not be put into words. Lots of very small children ran completely naked through the streets unattended to.

We returned to the house and Mia had dinner served to us. The only thing different this night was fish; I decided to pass on that. We also had an animal cracker baggie production line going in the dark:) I seriously loved the team I served with. Melissa had a great idea to divide evenly all of our animal crackers, which I gladly did the math, and we put 9 in each ziplock. It was a lot of fun, Mary Kate and I worked on this together, as she had her flashlight with her:) This day I prayed a lot for the kids that we all fell in love with to get a good night's sleep. It is like all that you see day in and day out, is so difficult for us to process... I would return to the guest house, showering with bugs, lizards, spiders (maybe), sometimes with power or without for some of us, and feel so defeated, but then quickly realized that I have so much to be thankful for and that this guest house is nice in comparison to what the children leave in. By the last day, I will say I had grown better accustom to the conditions and realized how selfish I was being. Okay, stayed tuned for Day 6-8 soon:)

My Trip to Haiti: Part 1 (Day 1-2)

So, I am going to do my best to sum up my trip in a few blog posts, I don't think I can do it in just one, but I will say this. I don't think you can really put into words all that you experience, all that you see, all that you feel emotionally, and all the hope and despair you see all at one time. My heart is forever changed and there are many times when I am doing something that I do in my everyday life and think of one of those little kids. I wish little Jazmine could be here with me, or I could see her again, but I trust that God is in control and looking after all of the kids at Cambry. We started our trip on Saturday morning, October 1, 2011 at 4:00 AM. The Charlotte airport is pretty dead, but we got on our plane to Miami with no problems:) I could already tell we were going to have a great time, and our five younger girls were already providing lots of entertainment. We landed in Miami and had a few minutes to get some breakfast, so Kevin, Kristen, and I headed to an all you can eat buffet:) So, our last meal was fantastic and we were set for Port au Prince. We arrived in Haiti, and customs/immigrations was a little chaotic. Praise the Lord they didn't go through our medical bags, so once we got outside, we were bombarded with men trying to help us. They all want to help you, so they can make the money. Ted, who helps with the orphanage and is a translator somewhat, helped us and we got on our bus with all of our bags and we started on our bus ride to the orphanage. After about 4.5 hours and one bathroom break, we made it Cambry. The kids were SOOO excited to see us. We first had to unload the bus and get settled into the guest house, but after that and dinner, we headed down the hill to meet the kiddos for the first time. I was a little overwhelmed, but at the same time, so excited for the week ahead.

The next morning we woke up around 5:00 AM (yes, this girl, the non-morning person) was up in this hour almost every day. We had two church services to attend. We went to the church that Pastor Lewis preaches at in the community of Les Cayes. It was definitely one of those moments where you put things in perspective. It was SO hot in that service, but all of the people were so joyful and ready to praise God. They could have worshiped God all day long, regardless of the conditions. I felt horrible as I knew in that moment how spoiled we are. I thought, what if we showed up at church and it was nearly 100 degress outside and we had no AC and no fans, would we stay and praise our Lord and Savior? Although we didn't understand a word that was being said, it was a good experience to see all praising God. After this two hour service, we returned to the orphanage for breakfast. After breakfast, we walked down to attend church with all the kids at the orphanage:) It was this day that I met little Jazmine:) If any of you saw any of the pictures that Blessback posted, she was the little girl that I was always holding. She stole my heart:) She fell asleep on my lap at church. To hear the children singing and praising God in Creole and we were singing in English, was just a glimpse of maybe what Heaven will be like:) I could have listened to the singing all day long. After church we went to the clinic to get ready for the week... LET THE FUN BEGIN.

Many of you know that one of my gifts is organization, so the pharmacy definitely needed it. Melissa and I were happy to get to work, but we could not have finished without Jaques, Patrick and Jackson. Such team work:) We cleared off two whole countertops/tables and that made my day. If I could work in an organized place, that would help me tremendously. I think the pictures show it best. They are in my photo albums on FB, but here are just a few. I will post Days 2-4 tomorrow, hopefully.

To be continued...

my car may be possessed...

so this weekend i headed down to wrightsville beach, nc for a wedding of my friend alison and her now husband, dustin. i had been looking forward to a weekend at the beach especially after the past couple of weeks (can we say my job has been a bit stressful) and hanging out with my friends from college. the wedding turned out great, the weather held out, and we all had a lot of fun at the reception... we jumped in my car after the festivities were over to drop off cars and head out to a local bar to continue hanging out (i wanted to watch some football, haha) and my battery light was on... to top it off, the engine sounded very odd to me. holly helped me not freak out and said, it is probably just the battery don't worry... this morning we were to head out, and of course the light is still on, yippee! the engine or something that has sound still sounded very off to me, but we headed on towards holly's lake house. once there, holly's dad looked at things briefly, and i headed on my way. i called my dad and he said to immediately stop... i didn't want to because i had my last team meeting for my Haiti trip that is in TWO weeks, and that caused me to be beyond irritated. i decided it would be best to stop and when i pulled in, the auto zone people determined the battery was bad and that i needed a new one.... i was fully prepared for the 80 or so dollars, but no, she says, "It will be $120." Now listen, I get inflation, but I bought a battery in 2007, and it was around 80 dollars, that is literally a $40 increase, what in the world. Are these batteries laced in gold? I was so mad. don't worry for all that know me, i told her what i thought, no foul language, but i was not happy. a single female walks into an auto shop or body shop and it is like these people do a happy dance. the guy installs my battery, and i think we should be good to go... you know that hunch i had with the engine not sounding right, well i should have known it would not be that simple. the light stayed on after the new battery was installed, so i was in somewhat of a prediciment. i continue driving, oh how fun 74 is:) once i finally get on 485 and about 3 exits away from the first ballantyne exit, i can feel car completely shutting down and about to start freaking out. i am trying not to panic, but let's face it... dramatic could be my middle name. i was going about 75 or so at this point, and the car completely FREAKS... the gas pedal stops responding, the brakes aren't working, all the lights start flashing on the dashboard (the emergency brake is flashing like i have that on), the ABS light is on, everything and i am like what in the world do i do. if i try to get off on the shoulder, this isn't going to help because i can't stop the car. i manage to get off on rea rd, but i am now in the middle of the exit ramp with no control, i can feel the engine shaking out of control and hood is visibly moving up and down... at this point, i am thinking the freaking car is going to explode. the brakes start working again, but the gas did not. i am not sure how i managed, actually i do, GOD totally protected me and i am pretty sure jumped in that car with me and got me into the target parking lot at stonecrest.... i didn't turn the car off immediately, as my dad is telling me to go to auto zone again, haha... "I am thinking, I am not going a.n.y.w.h.e.r.e in this car, it is about to explode." the engine or something under that hood is shaking more and more at this point, so i am forced to turn it off. i never turned it back on, and the tow company came and got it. thankfully, kasey came to the rescue and got me and all my stuff from the weekend so i could go get a rental car... goodness, i don't know what i would have done without her. i would have been stranded in the target parking lot with like 10 bags waiting on a cab. while this was a completely stressful day, i missed my meeting, there are still a lot of things to be thankful for: 1) that i was able to make it basically home before it completely bombed or wigged out, that i wasn't on the side of the road in some no name town i had never heard of 2) that even though i missed my last haiti mtg, that my friend kristen who is going with me was able to provide me with a great summary 3) that i have a great best friend who came to get me and took me to get my rental car 4) that my dad called and answered all of my frantic phone calls today and took them like a champ... seriously, if you don't know things can be life or death with me, when they probably shouldn't be, but this was scary to me goodness, so thankful to be home:) i need sleep now!

getting a little personal:: confidence

But blessed are those who trust in the LORD and have made the LORD their hope and confidence. Jeremiah 17:7 NLT

so, anyone who knows me knows that i've struggled pretty much my whole life with self-confidence/self-doubt or straight up negativity when it comes to my life. i like to call it, being realistic, but a while back someone told me that my "realistic" attitude is actually doubting God and it really made me stop and think.

unlike most people who struggle with confidence and self-doubt, they have very distinct memories from their childhood like they were afraid to try something or do something for fear that their mom or dad wouldn't be there. for me, this is certainly not the case. my biological father did pass away when i was seven years old, but my step dad married my mom when i was seven and he has been there for me every step of the way. my mom worked a lot when i was younger, so my grandparents helped raise my sister and me. i honestly cannot remember a time when i felt as though someone wasn't there for me. the one thing i do remember was a constant need to compare. from a very early age, i wanted to be like everyone else. i wanted to fit in and have the brand name things and my mom tried her best to provide the best for us. i'm not really sure where this need to "fit in" came from, but i remember it continually got worse as i went through elementary, middle, and high school.

in middle school, there is a thing called junior cotillion, and you have to be invited. i remember, i wasn't invited and i was crushed. pretty much all of my friends were at least invited, and i didn't understand why I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH to be asked to participate. i am fairly certain that my parents would not have been able to afford it, but it made me feel so insignificant at 12 years old to not be invited. i guess you could say that this was a pretty significant memory for me.

for one of my last projects in high school i had to write an autobiography. one of the chapters had to be about an area that we need to improve upon. i remember sitting in my living room, asking my mother, "what do you think my weakness is?" without hesitation, she said, "Your pessimism or negativity." i knew it was true, but didn't want to face the fact that i needed to improve, i just wanted to be truthful and realistic. my best friend lindsey is the internal optimist, which i used to say, she lived in a cloud or was floating in la-la land. not this girl, not a dreamer, just a straight shooter, so i guess we needed to find a balance between the two of us.

i went off to college, and thought i would find my confidence there. here i was, a small town girl from lincolnton, nc carrying out her dream to go to unc. i loved college, but it brought lots of emptiness. i ran from God in college; i gave Him the occasional Sunday, but I was not where I needed to be. after graduation, i lived in Raleigh, and things got progressively worse. i hadn't had a boyfriend in years, i had gained nearly 40 pounds since college, and i was depressed. i was searching for any type of significance on this earth, but i found nothing...

luckily, i found Hope Community Church and my small group which was my saving grace my last year in Raleigh before moving back to Charlotte. God was preparing my heart and teaching me things, laying foundation for things to come. i had already decided to move back closer to home, so i moved thinking this was going to be my big answer, it was going to solve all of my problems.

i've been in charlotte for about three years now, i absolutely love it here. how i am feeling, yeah? i've made significant progress many times in the past three to four years; however, i have had many setbacks. i have a huge fear of rejection; every time i am rejected, it is like every irrational thought comes flooding back. no matter how much i try to combat the enemies lies with God's truth, it is like Satan wins. last April I went on a Women's Retreat, i had a divine appointment one of the nights and completely laid all my fears, my lack of confidence, self doubt, and fear of rejection at the foot of the cross... no one knew what i wrote on my card except me. Amazingly, while I was giving my fear of rejection/lack of confidence at the cross, God was providing encouragement to me through my friend Lica, who was busy writing one of the sweetest letters i have ever received in my whole life. she comes over to me and hands me this letter and says, i have no idea why, but God told me to give this to you. (Lica, if you are reading this, don't worry I won't share it with the world, ha.) Seriously, though this is one of those things where if you ever doubt that there is a God, please don't... it was like He used Lica's hand to write the letter, but that letter is like a LOVE letter straight to me from Him:) i felt so loved, so free from that bondage, and so ready to move forward with my life.

here we are nearly a year a half later, and i am not free. i am still struggling. tuesday was not a good day for me; i felt so trapped, like how can this be? that fear of rejection that i spoke of, the thought that i am never going to be good enough for anyone, that i am the ugliest person, every one of these irrational thoughts filled my head and made my heart hurt all day. i was mad at myself that i couldn't rely on God's love and that i was so sad. luckily God provides us with friends who can love us, encourage us, speak truth to us, and comfort us, i needed them on tuesday, but i am glad they know me well enough to encourage, but not dwell. wednesday, i wake up and my devotion for the day was on confidence:) oh yeah, God was totally looking out for me. i know that MY GOD loves me, he wants me to be free from this:) I WANT TO BE COMPLETELY CONFIDENT IN CHRIST:) i want to fully trust HIM:) i know that God has a plan and starting this week, i am going to work on reading His word and ultimately never believing the enemies lies about my self-worth again. i started a book today called, A Confident Heart by Renee Swope. i am so excited about it, and i am pretty sure God is going to change my life forever through this book:)

Here is the prayer from the first chapter:

Lord, I pray that You would give me a confident heart in Christ. Take me beyond believing in You to truly believing You. Help me rely on the power of Your promises and live like they are true. You say blessed is the one who trusts in You and whose hope and confidence are found in You. Those who hope in You will not be disappointed, because You work all things together for good for those who love You and are called according to Your purpose.

When self-doubt tells me I can’t overcome my insecurities, I will believe Your promise that all things are possible to whoever believes. I will not throw away my confidence, because You say it will be richly rewarded. I will persevere so that when I have done the will of God, I will receive what You have promised. My confidence is in Christ and I am no longer one who shrinks back and is destroyed, but one who believes and is saved! In Jesus’ name, Amen.

mid year progress report

let's just get to the things that were carried over from 2010:

1. This is probably the most important one to me in 2011. I want to trust God and go where HE leads and go on a mission trip. I attempted this is 2010, but the trip was canceled. I have tried to not let this be completely discouraging, so I pray that God will provide an opportunity where He wants me to be, the passport is ready:)
UPDATE:: I am going to Haiti in October of this year, so excited for this opportunity and for what God is going to do through me in the lives of the children. I am so ready to grow, serve, love, and be forever changed.

2. Still working on this bedtime thing... I will go to bed earlier. My normal bedtime is 1:00 AM or later, so my goal is to get in bed by 11:00 PM each night.
UPDATE: Still trying to improve, but in the past week and a half, I have been in bed by midnight, which is in the 11 o'clock hour, woohoo. I say it is progress.

3. I will get up and do my quiet time in the morning, instead of doing it at night.
UPDATE: Piggy backing off of the last one, this week surprisingly I have gotten up and done my quiet time in the morning, I have been a little tired, but small steps. I am determined to do this as I know my days will be better if I start out spending time with God:)

4. Running made it to the list last year ( I did learn that I will never be a sprinter), but this year my goal is to actually complete a 5K. My goal is to complete one in the cooler months, as I hate to be extremely hot, hehe. [ I do think I am going to need someone to run this with me to hold me accountable. ]
UPDATE: Well, I ran a 5K in March:) Don't worry I didn't finish first, but I didn't finish last. My main goal was to not walk, it had about seven big hills, so I did take like 10 or so steps (walking), but overall I was so proud of myself. I want to run another one in September for CampCare, so I'll keep you posted on that one.

5. Sewing thing, needs improvement. I need lessons, maybe I will take a class. Seriously, I want to get better at this, it means so much to me because my grandmother was so good good. The dress I wanted to make last year didn't happen, so maybe this year.
UPDATE: I did take a beginner's sewing class, learned a few things, but I need to continue. Wish Whit still lived here, she would take classes with me.

6. Make turkey and dressing this year. We will see who will let me be this adventurous, hehe.
UPDATE: Yeah, let's move on.

New this year:

7. Since I tried a new food every month last year, this year I will cook something new every month. If I can try a new food still, that would be awesome. I am sure after seeing the new foods list, you know there are many foods out there I still haven't tried.
UPDATE: Well, the first five months, Lindsey and Crystal were onboard with me, we would alternate who cooked the main dish and it was awesome. With Crystal's wedding in June that made June super busy, but I have been cooking new thing on my own:) I will show pictures at the end of the year!

8. To go zip lining with my family. I am somewhat cheating on this one, as my brother Chris and I got this for him for Christmas:) I cannot wait though, it is going to be so much fun. I will also go with my friends, as we had talked about this, and it is so much, so why not?
UPDATE: Well, the certificates for mom and dad have been purchased, don't know when they are going, hoping I'll go with them. Hoping I can go with my friends, but we tried for Casey's bday and it didn't work out. REALLY want to do this:)

9. Complete the Crown Financial Class, as I want to make smarter financial choices.
UPDATE: Did this and learned so much. I need to apply these principals daily:)

10. Create a collage of old pictures of my great grandparents, grandparents, and parents in my stairwell. I am very excited about this project, as my Momaw and Popaw Abby (great grandparents) , my Momaw Saine (great grandmother), and Mom (my grandmother) meant so much to me.
UPDATE: Did this and oh my gosh, I love walking down my staircase now... these pictures make my heart smile.

11. Give blood as many times as I can in 2011. As many of you know, my grandfather was diagnosed with a type of lymphoma this year and had to have several blood transfusions. I only gave blood like once in 2010, and it is really such a simple thing I can do to help so many who need it. It really could save someone's life... if helped my grandfather!!!
UPDATE: Found out I am a candidate for double reds, so yes I have already given once, you actually can't give as often as a double reds, but my next appointment is in August. Unfortunately, I will not be able to give for a year once I go to Haiti, but I will start again after that year.

12. Read a book a month. To most of you, you are probably thinking that is nothing, but I am really not a big fan of reading.... I am just a slow reader. January = the me I want to be, February = Mark of the Lion Series, then I'll see how I am doing, hehe
UPDATE: Well, I have not done so well in this category, but I did read Heaven is for Real and Sweet Caroline and yes that is all, haha

13. Work resolution: I am going to try EXTREMELY hard to do my reports ahead of time and not on the last day, no more procrastinating. I think this will be huge for my work/life balance and going to bed earlier.
UPDATE: Started out strong, made some improvements, got slack and trying to do better again:)

14. Challenge myself to not eat out for a whole week, not one time. Also, to most, this probably wouldn't be hard, but for a girl who doesn't like cooking and doesn't think much of eating out every day (especially because I am out of town most days for my job), this will not be easy. If I get good, I'll try to do this once a month.
UPDATE: Kasey and I did a no-spending challenge and I did it:) I only ate out once that whole week for Kathryn and Gilbert's graduation, woohoo:)

15. Only allow myself two starbucks a week. It will help me save money too.
UPDATE: Well, yeah this problem is out of control, haha. Completely 100% addicted to my starbucks.

16. Be a little more confident when it comes to guys, I am sure all of my good friends are laughing at this one, as we all know this has never been something I have been good at... maybe we can all pray together on this one or maybe it will provide more funny stories.
UPDATE: Started a book today, ironically, called A Confident Heart, excited for all that God is going to teach me:)

17. Watch an old movie that I haven't ever seen before (1 a month ) there is a list so long it isn't even funny:: Braveheart, Lord of the Rings, Big, Sixteen Candles, Star Wars, Iron Man, etc
UPDATE: I have watched the following so far:: Sixteen Candles (loved it), Breakfast at Tiffanys (didn't really care for it), Men of Honor (cried the whole time), Can't Buy Me Love and I know there have been more but I can't think right now

18. Lose 10 more pounds, don't worry this is a personal goal and if I don't, I won't lose any sleep over it, but I do want to lose these 10 pounds to be at an ideal weight for my height.
UPDATE: Will let you know at the end of the year:)

19. Try a yoga class, probably going to stay away from a hot yoga class, haha.
UPDATE: Does it count if I did yoga with Casey at her house?

20. Try five new restaurants this year. Should make it more, but we will start with five.
UPDATE: I know I have tried something new, just can't think right now, haha.

21. Get up two days a week, possibly Wednesday and Thursday, and workout before work. Maybe I could do another boot camp:) It was great discipline and got me out of bed.
UPDATE: hahahahahah

22. Go to the mountains, enjoy a hike, and take in God's beauty. Prefer to do this with friends:) Let's plan a trip.
UPDATE: Glad there are still a few months to go in this year, it hasn't happened yet.

23. Make my bed each day, sounds silly for someone who keeps her house extremely clean, I mean, I am OCD about the cleanliness of my house, but this is the one thing that I do not do, haha. So, when I get up, I will make my bed daily:)
UPDATE: Forgot I put this on there, need to do this.

24. Start reading the Bible all the way through, I'm staring Jan. 1. I'm going at my own pace and excited to learn more and grow.
UPDATE: Still need to do this.

25. Spend quality time with grandfather. He is the only grandparent that I have left.
UPDATE: Love the time I do spend with him whether it is on Sundays or Saturday at BBQ King:)

26. Visit a new city, preferably for fun, not for work:)
UPDATE: Well, I did go to Waycross, GA for work, but I hope that is not my new city for 2011, it was a dump:(

27. I haven't scrapbooked much in 2010, get back to it, I really enjoy it.
UPDATE: Made a scrapbook for Whit for her wedding, so that was great. Organized a bunch of stuff so I could scrapbook, but just haven't yet.

28. Be more spontaneous/maybe we will go with adventurous... just go with the flow. I can be creative with this one, I'll blog about my adventures in 2011.
UPDATE: Don't know what I have done that is spontaneous or adventurous, haha

29. Simple: Be more thankful, you only get one life and I shouldn't spend my life dwelling on what I do not have, but thanking God for all the blessings in my life.
UPDATE: I am so unbelievably thankful for my family, friends, job, my church, and the opportunities that I have each day:) I need to remember this more often:)