Monday, December 15, 2014

To the BEST Pop, We Love You


For those of you who do not know, I have had the privilege and honor of calling Ken Saine, my grandfather, or POP for the last 32 years. 
When people pass away, you always get the joy of hearing others share stories and memories of the person.  This has definitely been true over the past few days.  Quite a few things stick out in my mind, when I think of Pop, but I’m going to try my best to honor the amazing husband, father, grandfather, veteran, co-worker, and firefighter that he was.  Pop was dedicated and loyal to so many things including his Navy Ship and their Reunion, to the Boger City Volunteer Fire Department, his dry cleaning business and the customers, and being a family man.  Anyone who knows Pop, would tell you he had a great way of sharing old stories and making you laugh.  His mind was sharp, he was passionate, and he was a hard-worker.  He was so very proud of his grandchildren, but he was so thrilled when he got promoted to Great-Grandfather.  Something he said the other day, has resonated with me… He told someone this past week that he really hopes John Austin remembers him.  John Austin is not quite two, but I can promise you his children and grandchildren will remind John Austin of what a great man Pop was. 
He loved so many things, but one of the things to always stand out to me was how well he loved my grandmother.  They had so much fun together and truly were best friends.  She has been gone for 5 years, but he never wavered in his love for her.  They enjoyed beach music and shagging and I am pretty sure he taught all of his granddaughters how to shag.  They even showed us the dances in the kitchen.  They played golf, traveled, and enjoyed “the program.”  Not sure who made who watch the Young and the Restless, but Pop even watched it after Mom passed away.  This past Thanksgiving, I was driving him back home and he said, you know sometimes I will be sleeping and wake up and realize I was dreaming about her.  He said, “I think she has been gone for five years, but I still miss her.”  Luckily I had on sunglasses, and he couldn’t see that I was crying.  One thing is for sure, I want a love like theirs. 
He loved his kids and like any good dad taught them many different things.  My aunt Paula said one, time he tried to teach her how to drive a stick shift, and she got really upset and ended up choking the car in the middle of the road and ran inside the house.  He didn’t yell at her, he just got out and finished driving the car to the driveway.  Moma said he taught her how to ride a bike, and she was so scared he was going to let go, and kept yelling please don’t let me go, don’t let go… but little did she know he had already let go.  Moma also said that she took his car when she was 16 and had a wreck.  She was so scared he was going to be so mad at her because she was not where she told them she would be, but no… he just towed the car out of that creek.  Paula reminded Moma that he was only mad about the battery that turned over in the trunk and spilled battery acid on his fishing pole. 
Pop was the type of man that would help others, without asking for praise or acknowledgement.  Beth and Nicole lived beside my grandparents for many years.  Pop was the type of man that would run outside in his shorts and shotgun to scare off whoever was knocking on Beth’s door late at night.  As Beth said, I am sure Pop scared the mess out of him, so he took off.  He also mowed their grass many times; again helping her out, but really I am pretty sure he hated looking at grass that needed mowing, so he just did it.  Another neighbor of his mentioned a time when he told Pop he was going to start riding his bike, but first he needed a new cushioned bike seat.  The next morning, his neighbor got up and of course Pop (who would never take credit for it) had put a brand new cushioned bike seat in his carport. 
He really enjoyed giving back by being an active member of the USS Salisbury Sound Association and even served as the president for a while.  He looked forward to the reunion every year; it was definitely a highlight for Mom and Pop.  They visited so many places in the US on these reunion trips, and we all loved hearing his stories of how he got to reconnect with his Navy buddies.  He loved showing us pictures of the trip and telling us all about their adventures.  On one of the last reunion trips they were able to take, to Reno, they also celebrated their wedding anniversary.  I wish I could have been there to see this, but according to Pop, he had a dozen roses delivered to her at the reunion and the dance floor cleared when the DJ announced it was their anniversary.  My grandparents took the dance floor and my grandfather loved that moment.  He said, “She always was the best dancer.”  I’d like to imagine that Heaven’s gates created a similar scenario and he again was shagging to beach music with his beloved bride.
Another way my grandfather served and gave back was through his 50 plus years of serving as a Volunteer Firefighter and even retired Chief.  He was even President of the Board of Directors that aided in building the new station.  He put countless hours into this position and helping with the financing, but he was so proud once the building was completed.  He would gladly take any of us on a tour.  The other day, Louis Fletcher said, your grandfather was such a special man.  He said, “I’ll never forget the first day I met your grandfather… it was 1979.  He hopped in his first fire truck, and Pop said, “I’m Ken.  Who are you?  He impacted so many at the fire department.
Many of you know that Mom and Pop ran Boger City Dry Cleaners with Bob Keener.  Even though he retired many years ago, he would still talk about the customers they traded with.  Obviously they took very good care of their clothes, and moma said they never did laundry… Mom and Pop did it and magically it would just appear back in their closest pressed and ready to go.  I can speak from personal experience, as in college my laundry got stolen from the laundry room.  I must have told my grandmother about it, and so she said, “well you just bring home your laundry and we will take care of it.”  Every time I made that trip from Chapel Hill to Lincolnton, I brought my laundry and on Sunday when I was leaving to go back to school, they would hand me all my clothes pressed and hanging on hangers.  I even had ironed pajamas, not many college students could say this.  This was a skill they had, and they never once complained.  I know this was just one of the many ways they showed me how much they loved me.  Pop tried to teach me to iron, several times, but I’ll never do it as good as him or spray enough starchJ
Lastly, Pop made a lot of people laugh.  My aunt Paula told me about a trip she took with Mom and Pop.  Mom did not want to go on a particular ride, as it was too high, but Pop and Paula were riding. Paula said he looked at her and said, “You might as well ride it, because you won’t want to be here if something happens to us.”  So, as you can imagine, she got on.  He knew what he was doing.  This past Monday night, I decided to take the night shift.  Randy came by earlier in the day and reminded Pop what day it was and that Monday Night Football would be on.  Pop had Paula set up the remote to change it easily to MNF.  I got him to bed about 7:55pm, and he looked up at me and said, “What time is it?”  I told him 8, not thinking, and he said, “Oh, well I need to go back to the couch, MNF is on. “  SO, back to the living room we go… he laid on the couch and shut his eyes.  About an hour later, he sat up and said, “You may not think I am watching this, but I am listening.”  I started laughing and told him he had been doing that for 20 years.  On Saturdays, Pop enjoyed going out to lunch with his family.  A few months ago, Pop had his cane and we were walking out of lunch at BBQ King, and he was not moving very fast.  He said, “I’m going at top speed, don’t you know?”  I loved his humor even in the little things.
During his battle with cancer, he always made friends with the nurses.  He especially loved the “cute ones,” as he called them.  He had such a great attitude despite the fact that cancer continued to rear it’s ugly head.  I took him to some of his chemo appointments, and I rarely heard him complain.  As long as you took him to J&S or the Chinese place, he was a happy man!  Well, that is, if you got him back to his house, so he could take his nap on the couch in a timely fashion.  When Pop was ready for that nap, not much could get in his way.  We especially want to take this time to thank all the people who brought food, he visited Pop, who took him to treatments, and helped out in whatever way during his last few months.  We want to especially thank the Hospice of Lincoln County for their love and support during his final days.  Lastly, we want to thank Shelia at Dr. Prinz’ office, who was a God send to his family during these past few months.
There are not enough words I could say about what a great Pop he was, but every time I look at my wooden clock or bank box,  pull out a gold coin, see a piece of pottery he loved, or even see a Nascar race, the Panther’s game, or golf on TV,  I will be reminded of him.  Not to mention, every time I go to the mall, I will definitely think of him (and mom too).  That man, loved to shop and he definitely passed it on to me.  I can promise you if there were pants on sale at Belk, he was there as soon as he saw the sale.  Not to mention, how he would find things at local flea markets for his kids and grandkids.  You just never knew what he might find and think was good for you!  I am so thankful that every Sunday of my childhood and even to this day, that Sunday afternoons at mom and pop’s watching the race or the football game was a tradition.  I know we have so many memories of all of us piling in their living room, eating sweet treats, drinking coffee, and taking naps.  While most of his grandkids do not live in Lincolnton, I know it was a highlight for him to see us when we could visit.  He was so proud of every single one of us.  I am so thankful for the memories, and that he knew we loved him so much.  I am so thankful that he is in Heaven with Jesus and mom.  Dance all you want to now, Pop.  WE LOVE YOU and WE WILL MISS YOU, SO VERY MUCH.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

healthy living with a lot of accountability

why do i crave such unhealthy food, i mean, like if I don't have a skinny cow cookies and cream ice cream sandwich a day, it is just not a good day, ha.  so, at the beginning of this year, i made a commitment that i would lose 25 pounds.  i know that sounds like a lot, but i have a goal, that is well within my healthy weight range, so i am trying.

first up, i gave up cokes again.  oh how that pure sweet, carbonated, burns your throat drink is my absolute favorite, but i have learned that is hard for me to drink it in moderation, so it is GONE. 

secondly, i recommited to exercising 5-6 days per week, and i have been doing so much better.  so much so, that i have gained a little confidence... i am training for a 5K.  my friend ashley and i are taking a 6 week running class, oh yeah.  tonight was our first class and they gave us a one-mile timed test.  i was absolutely terrified, but i clocked in at 10:42.  i know there is room for improvement, major improvement actually, but i thought that was a great place to start.  so, ash and i are signing up for a 5K in 7 weeks, we got this!  my ultimate goal would be to do my company's half marathon next year in wrightsville beach.  lofty goal, but i think with a year's time, i can do it.  i am so beyond appreciative that i have ashley to hold me accountable. 

lastly, i tried to give up carbs and sugar.  let's face it, i am not trying to be the next spokesperson for paleo diet, so that was no fun and didn't last.  i challenged myself originally for 30 days, i lasted 21.  even at 21, it was limited carbs and sugar, ha.  so, a more realistic approach to this was weight watchers.  the best thing about WW is that you can still eat what you want, but it is in moderation and EVERYTHING counts.  so, i had my first week weigh in on wednesday and i lost 4 pounds. what what!  i am happy that i am making this a goal, and i am happy that i am taking baby steps towards my big goals.

my sweet and precious friend lynn is doing WW with me, so it is AWESOME to have accountability.  i told her, come december, the month of both of our birthdays, we are going to look like different people, hehe.  we are going out to celebrate our success this year.  we can do this.  she also gave me a groupon for a month's unlimited yoga, hot yoga here i come!  there is nothing like all that sweat. 

so, i am in a good place here! if anyone needs accountability, i'm happy to help encourage.


Tuesday, March 11, 2014

weight watchers again

so, tomorrow i am starting weight watchers again.  i did a 21 day no sugar and no carbs challenge, it was so hard.  while i saw results, it is hard to keep that up.  i know WW works, and i have seen results, so i start this journey again.  i have a goal to lose 20 pounds.  i can do this.  i have accountability with friends, so i am excited about this. 

i have been working out with a friend, who is a personal trainer.  she is great at pushing me.  i have gotten so much stronger, and for that i am thankful.

i will try to update weekly:)


this is real...

sometimes we need silence.  sometimes we need friends in our season of life.  sometimes we need friends or parents who just listen, but do not offer any kind of advice.  well this is where i am....

i have said it many times, but i do not want being single at 31 to define me, but i am a 31 year old woman, whose greatest heart's desire is to be a wife and mom.  today, i think i reached my breaking point.  literally with pretty much all my groups of friends, i am the ONLY single one left.  i am about to attend a wedding, for a dear friend whom we prayed and prayed for an engagement::wedding.  i, genuinely am so excited to celebrate her day and be a bridesmaid, but along with that comes this isolating reality that in the 5 years i have known this group of girls, SO MUCH HAS CHANGED, but not with me.  one girl got married and just had her baby last week.  one girl is married and has a 5 month old.  one girl got married a few months back and told me today she is pregnant.  the bride, who is one of the most thoughtful and sweet friends has been praying that i would have a date for the wedding, but i will not.  today, i cried and cried.  i just don't understand why my God, who loves me more than i can even imagine, does not have it in His Will for me to meet someone, to get married, or to be a mom.  i.am.sad.

tonight, my single friends in charlotte helped a lot.  they are a blessing beyond words; however, i hate that they know my pain.  tonight my mom listened, without offering advice and that is what i needed.  tonight, a friend went with me to hot yoga, and that helped probably more than she will know.

i know i have to trust HIS plan and will for my life.  are we promised this will be easy, absolutely not.  do i need prayer to remember these things, absolutely.  i decided tonight that if i focus more on God's word, then i will stop having this pity party.  i read somewhere, that if you are having a pity party for yourself then you are focusing to much on yourself and not enough on God.  the verse that says, i need to decrease, so HE will INCREASE is so relevant tonight.  also, lately, i have been angry at God.  this scares me to type, but it is real.  everyone has their own struggles and season of waiting, but this is mine. 

what i try so very hard to do is to find ways to serve others.  i have been blessed with an amazing church family, with so many friends who have kids, so i get to love on them.  while this is not the path i would have chosen, it brings me joy to love on these precious kids, to take them out for special things to give their parents a break.  this has helped me.

the point of this post is for me to remember that this is real.  this is painful, but i always have hope.  i wish that we could find out what was going to happen, but that would not be living by faith. 

i have to trust that someone who loves me more than anyone ever can, has a greater plan.  HE LOVES ME.  he wants me to focus on him, to grow deeply in love with HIM. 

so, i have had my sad day, my day of anger, and my day of lots of tears.  tomorrow is a new day, and for that i am thankful. 

to all my single friends, i promise to boldly pray for you.  i want so badly for all of us to find someone.  please know that while you are a blessing to me, i pray that you will not be in this season much longer.  i pray that when you feel lonely or need someone to talk to, you will call me.  to my married friends, i am sure you have your struggles too, so i will pray for you, for your marriage to grow stronger.  to my friends who are new mommies, i will pray for you.  i will pray for sleep, for you.  what i cannot promise is that i will not have days like this again.  i hate that i cannot be sunshine and roses all the time, but this is real life, the good, bad, and ugly.

and on that note, i am going to bed.


Friday, January 3, 2014

Closing 2013, Starting 2014


so, it is hard to believe another year is coming to an end.  i am pretty goal driven or dream big, so reflecting back on a year is something i typically do.  i would like to think that the fact that i am not married or anywhere close doesn't bother me, but it is always in the back of my mind.  i am trying so very hard to not let it define me though.  the other day, i was at a friend's birthday party, it was 9 single girls, all girls who are in their 30s, fabulous, Jesus-loving girls.  one girl came up to me at the end of the party and she said, "your Christmas card was my absolute favorite.  seriously girl, after all the babies and wedding pictures on cards, it was refreshing to get one that said, i'm single and i am still living my life, very blessed, lots of happy things and celebrations."  it was so very encouraging, but the simple truth is... it is true.  just because i don't have my own babies to put on the card or a husband, that doesn't mean that i don't have so many blessings to celebrate from the year.  my card was nearly poster size and God has blessed me with so much.  from concerts, mission trips, friends weddings, babies, becoming an aunt, my job, and so much more, it was a great year:) 

i am excited for a new year, a new start, a clean slate...so, i'm going back to my list of things, resolutions, goals, bucket list, etc, so their will be 32, because i turn 32 in 2014, YIKES.

so, here goes....

1. go on a fun vacation, a trip for fun, somewhere for relaxation
2. lose 25 pounds, lofty goal, but i need to be healthy, as i am not getting younger
3. exercise more.  quite simple; just do it.
4. learn to sew.  stop saying it, learn and do.
5. bad habit i need to break, no technology in my bedroom.
6. quiet time in the morning, which means wake up earlier.
7. go zip lining.
8. spend more time with my grandfather.
9. be more intentional.
10. make my bed daily, as clean as i am, this is the one thing i do not do, ha (my mother raised me better)
11. eat more veggies!
12. save more, budget better.
13. HUGE GOAL:: try as hard as i can to stop buying clothes, i am doing a bible study and counted how many article of clothing and accessories i have, let's just say i cannot even type the number.  it has to stop.
14. purge stuff, they aren't going with me when i leave this place.
15. focus on growing in my relationship with God:: Being STILL.  Trusting in HIS plan.
16. surprise people more, it is fun:)
17. drink more water. 
18. go hiking, just that simple
19. read more, always a goal.
20. read my Bible more.  don't give up, be intentional about quiet time.
21. go somewhere that i haven't been before.  a new place.
22. stop drinking coke again, we all know it has always been my vice.  i stopped for a good two years, i can do it again.  I CAN DO IT!!!
23. look into going to Uganda, really God is stirring this in my heart.  but truthfully, i want to go where He has called me.
24. look into getting a dog.  i go back and forth, but i think it would be nice to have a companion.  i think i want to do rescue, and not a puppy, so it will be housebroken/trained.
25.  focus more at work, really strive to do better.  last year wasn't my best in my role, so i want to really exceed expectations.  i am so blessed to work for a great company.
26. take adult gymnastics, really i want to do this.
27. try a hot yoga class or yoga in general.
28. would love to find a cheap way to do barre classes, I LOVED pure barre, but it was outrageously expensive. if anyone sees a living social or groupon, holla at this girl!
29.  write in my journal more and blog more often.
30. start a jar full of memories, praises, answered prayers, etc for 2014 and read on December 31, 2014 to reflect on the year
31. to live this year not letting my singleness define me, but by loving others and encouraging others who are single.  this road gets lonely at times, but God has blessed me.  i want to be a blessing and encouragement to others.
32. cook more, eat out less often.

okay, i think that is a lot, but most of them are manageable.