Monday, January 28, 2013

weight watchers week 1

i am so thankful that i decided to do this.  is it easy, NO.  i am one week in, and had my first weigh in this morning, and it went well.

so, before i post my results, let me talk about last week....

so, after registering and logging in i found out that i was allowed 26 points a day.  so, monday i wanted to eat like i normally would just to see how many points i would typically eat in a normal day.  i used to eat a bagel thin (110 calories), reduced fat cream cheese, coffee, with no sugar, but with natural creamer (it is delicious), and a strawberry shake.  this was literally like 10 or 11 points, i was shocked, haha.  for lunch i typically eat like a turkey/provolone/avocado panini with mustard and i will take the leftover avocado and make some homemade guacamole with whole grain scoops... this was like 15 points. then for dinner that night i had a you pick two from panera and holy moly the points from that nearly killed me, but i had worked out twice, so i was hungry... i will get to that in a minute.  my baked potato soup (which I only ate half of was 6 points (for the half)).  my thai chopped chicken salad (which i ate half of) was 6 points for the half as well.  the french baguette (how do you spell that) was 4 points.  so, this was 16 points, yikes.  at some point i had a snack of pimento cheese and crackers, but halfed it, which was three points.  i also had an apple and some strawberries, which were zero points... my total point value was 42 or 43... i couldn't believe it.

so, my workouts... you get activity points when you exericse.  i got 68 points for all my workouts.... i worked so hard, many days doing two workouts, but when i commit to something, i don't give 50%, i give 110%.  i will keep up with this as much as possible, because i want to be healthier:)

the best part is you don't have to deprive yourself.  it was restaurant week, so saturday night i saved a lot of my points (flex points and activity ones) and i was able to eat salmon, mashed potatoes and cheese cake.  i only ate half of all, but it was so nice to be able to have some delicious treats, and for the results....

week 1, i lost 4.8 pounds, woohoo!!! I lost 2.93% of my body weight in one week:)


Saturday, January 19, 2013

shooting range fun

everyone should go, they even have ladies night on the last thursday of every month
i almost hit the bullseye, lindsey and i did good

who would have ever thought:)

love this


sweet lindsey jo shooting a gun
so yesterday was one of those days that goes down in the record books.  lindsey and i bought a living social a while back, when i still lived in my townhouse, for a couple hours at a shooting range.  i wanted to do this so much, but a huge part of me was scared to death.  lindsey seemed totally fine, so yesterday i was given half a day to volunteer and half a day to take vacation.  lindsey and i met at chic-fil-a and then headed to the range at lake norman.  first, i will say it is a breeding ground for guys, should be an obvious, but maybe i need to head there more often, ha.  after signing a liability and watching a way too short instructional/safety video, they said here is your 22, your headphones, your eyewear, and pick your target... you are good to go.  okay, they let us feel the gun to make sure it "felt okay."  lindsey and i were like, we have no flipping idea, ha.  nick, we were fast friends, was a huge help to us.  actually all of them were, another one, david was nice too.  they had to tell us a lot of times how to shoot, how to load, and many other things, but after a while we got the hang of it.  initially when we walked in, lindsey was a little startled... i really thought we were going to have to leave, but she pulled it together, and we both really enjoyed it.  we had lots of laughs, lots of jams in our gun, and all in all we learned that shooting is not an easy thing.  we also took from this adventure, that if we actually needed it, we are not fast loaders, the person would kill us first.

there was a cute guy, he had a beard, that lindsey kept wanting me to talk to, but unfortunately with the headphones you could barely hear anything but loud booms.  i really wasn't in any position to talk to anyone.  plus, i am currently in my glasses, which are really not that attractive, so after feb. 7th i'll be back at it. 

after we finished at the shooting range, we headed to ikea and then had dinner at chipotle. 

as we get older, and life changes, i was reminded yesterday how rare quality time with your BFF is.  instead of focusing on that this year, i am focusing on how much fun we had and how appreciative i am that we got to do this and that she now has fridays off.  we laughed so hard, we talked, we caught up, and it was such a fun day with lindsey jo!  i can't remember the last time just the two of us spent nearly a whole day together.

i think this is a great idea for someone's 30th or for a fun girl's night out.  i won't be making a shooting range my new hobby, but it will definitely be something i do again:)


Wednesday, January 16, 2013

weight loss, accountability with friends

so, in the summer of 2008 i was at my heaviest.  a lot of things factored into this, but it was mainly a job where i traveled 80% of the time (had poor diet choices due to never being home or on any sort of a schedule), thyroid problems, and no time to exercise due to work (or at least i used that as my excuse).  i was literally at 200 pounds, for my 5'6" frame.. it was not good.  this is one of the pictures that shows just how big i was. 

ironically this is when i moved to charlotte and i will never forget my dad saying to me that i needed to make some changes and lose some weight, not because i was ugly but more because it was unhealthy and he wanted me to be happier.  i cried when he said this, but i worked hard... i cut back, cut out coke, changed so many things in my diet, and i lost 60 pounds... the below picture is one of me at my skinniest...


i mean, those arms!!!  so, here i am nearly four years later, and i have left off about 45 pounds of it, but i have gained back 20 pounds.  i need it gone.  so that brings me to where i am now...

starting on monday, two of my friends here and i are starting weight watchers.  i am so excited to start this with friends, so we can encourage each other.  we are committed, we are doing this.

my goal is to lose 25 pounds.  feel free to ask, check in, hold me accountable....

here is a picture of me now...

with my sister and sister in laws at christmas...

in addition, i will be doing the following at the gym

monday 6:15 am quick fit, 5:30 pm spin
tuesday 6 pm cardio funk
wednesday 6:15 am total strength
thursday 8:15 am yoga or something at night
friday pilates at lunch 12 noon
saturday spin at 8 am
sunday - varies

i will post weekly updates:)


Monday, January 14, 2013

this is me

the past month and half has been a month of reflection and one that i would prefer to not relive.  sometimes, make that a lot of the time, i hold things in, praying and thinking that they will get better, but when they don't, i reach a point where i have to let it out whether that be in the form of calling someone, crying it out, or emailing.  i have learned, about myself, over the years that if i email someone it usually comes out a lot more organized and clear, than if i call someone and cry through my thoughts, so a lot of times it is best that way in my mind.  you can ask my two best friends from home, they have gotten many of these emails, i know they love them, ha!  i talked a lot about change in my last post, but this one is more about accepting and moving forward. 

recently, someone said to me, "kelsey, i think you do express your desire to be a mom more than most."  sometimes i can be so sensitive.  let's face it, i am me... but has the greatest desire of my heart always been to be a wife and a mom, well yes it has.  do i want this to define me, no i do not.  i think that we learn things about ourselves daily, God teaches us lessons through life struggles, through blessings, through loss, through everyday experiences, etc.  i know that i have prayed so many times that God would take away this desire, so that i will not be the crazy single girl who wants to be married and wants to be a mom, but He hasn't taken it away.  i also try very hard to not talk about it, as the truth is, i cannot control it. 

i recently turned 30, and in the months leading up to it, i had quite a few friends ask me some questions which made me a little sad, but i know they were coming from a good place.  one friend told me all about a friend of hers that she goes to church with that adopted a child, while she was single at like 35, from a third world country and then like six months later, she met her husband.  my friend was just saying that she loved how much i had fallen in love with the country of haiti, and wondered if i had considered adopting from haiti.  i sat at the table thinking... "wait, i am only 29 at this time, why are we having this conversation???  please don't write me off quite yet, there is still HOPE." 

another friend brought it up as well, saying that she could see me adopting some haitian babies and asked if i had considered it?  she said, "you will probably come back with one after your third trip to haiti."  i thought, people, i am only 29.  this would be so hard to raise a child by myself without a husband, but that doesn't mean i would pray and consider this down the road. 

i know my friends said this and it came from a loving place, but facing my reality of being single at 30 is not fun.  many days i like to find joy in the situation; i don't like to focus on it.  what is the point?  who wants to live a life bitter, not this girl, so hearing my friends say thing like this, which in my head i took it as... you should probably start preparing or planning your life without a husband and maybe start the process of adopting a baby on your own, because well you aren't married and we know you want a kid... this was tough. 

in this new year, i think i am going to focus on continuing to do things that i am passionate about, continuing to love on babies and kids, continuing to do what God calls me to do, maybe try to voice this desire a little less, after all, it doesn't help it come true, and continue to work on this JOY thing.  if i had to pick a word for 2013, it would definitely be JOY.  i can find the joy in all situations. 

at the end of my life, no matter how it plays out, i want my friends and family to remember me as someone who loved life, someone who loved God, someone who was passionate and cared for others, someone who was JOYFUL, someone who was not controlled/affected by my circumstances, someone who appreciated and was thankful for the life she was blessed with. 

i know i can be a little over the top, i can be a bit dramatic, i can be an uber planner, i can be a bit talkative, i can be extremely thoughtful, i can get my feelings hurt, i love country music ALOT, i love to stay up late, i hate sitting still, i don't like to read, i love starbucks way too much, i am extremely loyal, i don't really care for change, and the list could go on, but the bottom line is this is ME.  i am who I am, and i am happy with who and how God made me:) 


Tuesday, January 1, 2013

a new year, a continued work in progress

it's funny the holidays are my favorite time of the year; however, at the same time, it is also a difficult time, as it is a reminder when a new year approaches that i am still alone (actually i am not, but you know what i am saying), and this was not in my plan for my life.  don't worry, this is not a super sad or depressing post, but more of a hopeful one.  i was talking to someone the other day, and i told her that i get so frustrated with myself when i get down and discouraged about being single; it feels as if i am back at square one and i haven't made progress in seeing the joy in this season of my life; however, she reminded me that we are all allowed times when we struggle.  it was a great reminder that i have made a lot of progress in 2012 and i have learned so much in 2012.

this past year has had the most change for me; while some change is good, a lot of change, i am really not a fan of.  i would prefer for things to stay the same, but at the same time dealing with change is inevitable.  my best friend in the entire world got a boyfriend, a serious one, that will become her husband very soon (they aren't engaged yet) and with that came a lot of changes.  she is like my sister, no really she is, and we talked multiple times a day.  remember i work from home by myself, so a lot of times, i just need a human to talk to.  i would call her about the most ridiculous things, i can still do this, but it has changed.  we have both prayed for our future husbands for as long as i can remember, so i couldn't be more happy for her.  with all of this came adjustment for me, i often times felt there was no place for me and felt as though i had been replaced, like she had a new best friend.  what i have learned through all of this is that i have very unrealistic expectations of people, and that i need to rely more on my heavely father.  when i say that she is my best friend; she really is incredible and has tried so very hard to make sure i still have time to talk to her and her and her boyfriend pray for me and my future husband a lot.  i am blessed beyond measure to have her as my best friend, and while she wants a simple wedding, it is still going to be a great celebration praising Jesus for sending her the man of her dreams.

i changed jobs this year, which was such a huge accomplishment for me.  i was promoted in may 2012, and with that brought lots of change.  i was used to traveling about 80% of the time, probably only being in my home office once a week if that.   with my new job came new responsibilities, but also the travel decreased.  I was not used to so much alone time and sitting in my home office 24:7.  i am not going to lie, this has been the hardest part of my job.  there are many days, if i don't have a call with a site, i may not speak to ANYONE... i am extroverted and love people.  it is tough, but i have tried recently to remember how blessed i am to have this job, and one day if i get married and have kids, it will be an amazing job to have.  also, i am one of youngest in this role, so it is definitely an accomplishment to be in my position at my age, so i know that i need to be more thankful.  i have found ways to get out, i go to starbucks or panera to work remotely, which are within walking distance of my condo so that i can interact with people and put on something other than workout clothes:)

one of my best friends in charlotte moved, and while i had ample time to prepare, i think it has been a lot harder than i expected.  you can ask anyone who knows me, i have had the same best friends since kindergarten, but i stay in touch with people.  i have learned that we are all different and that is okay.  i am thankful for grace and my heavenly father who listens to me, when i feel like i am going crazy.  i have been praying so much that God will put new friends that are in similar seasons of life in my community and he has been answering that prayer.  my church has been a great source of community as well, and many of my friends are there.  while many of them are married and have children, i am so thankful for them, as we workout together and can meet for lunch during the day when their kiddos are in preschool.  also, i went to haiti in november with my church, and i have friends that i am not much closer too as a result of this trip:)  i couldn't be more thankful for that, as this season of change and loneliness hasn't been fun.  again, this particular situation showed me that i have very high expectations of people and no one will ever meet all of our expectations, as we are all human and are flawed.

my sister told us that she was pregnant... to say that this has been one that i have had to continually pray about would be an understatement.  don't get me wrong, i am so excited for her and her husband, as i know they prayed for this baby and are ready to be parents to this precious little boy, but i have already had to deal with my younger sister getting married before me, and now the baby.  the youngest grandchild in our family is 24, so to say that everyone in our family is excited, yeah i need to find a synonym.  i know that i was called to be a mom, and i am so sad that i am no where near this point in my life.  i have been very selfish and sad, so i have had to try to learn and see the lessons that God has wanted me to learn through this as well.  i am hopeful that once this baby is born (my parents and i call him "kabota" as kendall and kevin aren't telling the name til he is born) that i will be reminded that being an aunt is important, that i can help my sister out, and that again, there is a reason for the way things have played out.  he may not learn to walk until he is 2, as everyone in our family will probably hold him all the time.  i have to let go of this resentment, because i want to love this little boy and be a wonderful aunt to him:)

i have learned so much about myself, and i know that in 2013 there is so much more for me to learn.  i continue to plead and pray asking God when it will be time for me to meet my husband, but the reality is i am going to be just fine if it isn't in His will, but for now I trust that He knows my heart better than even I know it, so I trust that I will get married when He sees fit.  i am excited for a year in which i want to say Yes when God asked me to something, i want to be open to what lies in store for my life in His will and perfect timing.  the past few years, i have made a list of things relating to the age i turn, but not this year.  this year, i think it is more important to draw closer to the Lord, to focus on having a better attitude and not being bitter, to be more loving, and to focus on being the best version of ME.  i know who i am, and i am thankful that God made me this way.  there are still many things i would like to do, if i have an opportunity to do these things, i will post about them.  also, i am putting it on here as a way to hold myself more accountable, but my goal is to lose 20 pounds.  i can do this!!!

welcome 2013, excited for what is in store, and ready to close the books on 2012.  while all the things that happened, happened in God's perfect timing and i learned so much, i am ready to move forward in 2013!