single girl revelation:: rejoice, reverse, and relax

so, i have been wanting to write this blog post for quite some time, but just couldn't find the time to sit down and do it, but i think today/tonight is the right time:)  the truth, for anyone who knows me, i have always been single; clearly, i am 29 and not married, but more than that, i haven't really been in a serious relationship and don't really date that much.  for any guys that are reading this, i'd like to say that i am extremely picky or a better word, i'll say selective, but i know that God's timing is perfect and this is one area of my life that i cannot control.  it isn't like you can go to the store and pick out your "dream guy."  contrary to what online dating profiles would make you think, it isn't that easy!  goodness, in our society today, i think that is a huge part of the problem, there are so many online dating choices that guys and girls can be even more picky than they are already are, and the truth is, i think we all just want to find our best friend and companion to continue in life with. 

the past three to six months, i know that God has been working on my heart big time in this area.  the truth is, God knows my greatest hearts desires; goodness, he knows me better than i know myself.  all of my friends know how much i want to be a wife and a mom, but if i am being honest here, i know that i have let this be a false god or idol in my life for way too long.  i think i have thought more about being single or wanting a husband and focused less on the true blessings in my life and this all became abundantly clear on a wednesday night in april.  kasey, casey, lindsey, and i went to see matt chandler in durham, and he said something along the lines of we choose the reaction to our circumstances... we choose how react to what life throws at us.  i know this doesn't sound very profound, but something about what he said totally struck a cord with this girl.  i know God wanted me to hear this message or even that point loud and clear.  the truth is I (kelsey morgan) am the only person on this planet that can choose to react to my own singleness, and the truth is, i haven't been handling it very well.  the last ten years, i have basically been having a pity party for myself and have been pretty bitter about it.  this has to change i thought as i sat there.  what a witness to anyone who does not love Jesus and is not a believer.  they are seeing the way i am handling my season of waiting on a husband, and i am handling it all wrong.  i want people to see me as a 29 year old who is so completely blessed and thankful for the life that she is given each day; after all, we aren't promised tomorrow, so each new day is truly a gift!  i want to get up each day and live my life full of joy and share God's love with others.  i want to know that i am still living out God's purpose for my life regardless of if i get married or not.  the truth, being single isn't all that bad, i can still do great things.  for example, God has given me a desire to love on children in Haiti and do medical missions work, so to Haiti i go for the second time in July.  did i have to check with anyone, no... i put in my vacation request and off i go, and i am so excited!!!  my friends and family are so incredibly supportive, and going gives me great purpose and there is nothing like it.  i cannot wait to see jazmine again:)  another example of how i am choosing to find joy is serving in the toddler room on sundays... everyone who knows me knows i LOVE kids... so i get to love and play with about 15-18 toddlers every sunday morning at church, and i wouldn't trade it for anything:)  seriously, i love waking up on sunday mornings knowing i get this opportunity.  i fully trust that God has a plan, and i can truly say that i have surrendered my will and desires to Him. 

Psalm 37:4  Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.

now, don't get me wrong, i still have many days when i want nothing more to be married and to have children.  being single can be lonely, but i would rather continue to be my selective/picky self and hold out for the right one that marry the wrong one or settle for the wrong one just to "be married."  i listened to a sermon today from my old church in raleigh (hope), that my best friend holly sent me, and it was so good.  mike said he found a quote that said "success isn't about marrying the one person that will make you happy, but escaping all the ones that will make you miserable."  i thought that is so true.  he also talked about how important it is to be spirtually compatible with your mate, and i cannot stress how important this is to me.  with how easy it is to filter for your "dream guy" on match or eharmony (or many others), it is easy for people to say that they are a christian, but going to church doesn't mean you have a relationship with God.  i am so thankful that God has given me wisdom and discernment, and i continually pray for this throughout the dating process!  also, mike stressed that it is important to have similar plans and purpose, seriously could not agree more.  i am so thankful for these simple reminders today, because no matter how many times we hear them, as a single girl it can never be enough. 

at the end of the message, mike had three simple reminders::  rejoice, reverse, and relax!  i loved these, and could seriously do a little more of all three.  i need to rejoice as mentioned above at the life that i have been blessed with and be thankful for this season of singleness.  there are so many things that i get to do that married people can't (not saying marriage is bad either).  i should definitely take advantage of this season and go when called!  the reverse part really got me.... mike said to reverse your thinking and i addressed this above a little as well.  i need to reverse my thinking and not dwell on my singleness and what all i am missing out on or thinking that God is punishing me... i need to remember that this is all part of God's perfect plan for my life, and i am not going to meet my husband one second before God is ready for me to meet him.  instead of dwelling on things i cannot control, i need to re-focus and remember this daily:)  lastly, i just need to flat out relax:)  i could elaborate, but i think it is pretty straightforward.

i pray that if you are single today, and you have read this that you have been encouraged.  you have not been forgotten.  you are deeply loved by a wonderful God, and his perfect plan will be revealed when the time is right.  in the meantime, look at your singleness as a blessing, and try to take advantage of this season and do something that you've always wanted to do, go serve a little more, take that job that seems a little risky/adventurous, but most of all just know you are loved by your Heavenly Father!!!