so, tomorrow i am starting weight watchers again. i did a 21 day no sugar and no carbs challenge, it was so hard. while i saw results, it is hard to keep that up. i know WW works, and i have seen results, so i start this journey again. i have a goal to lose 20 pounds. i can do this. i have accountability with friends, so i am excited about this.
i have been working out with a friend, who is a personal trainer. she is great at pushing me. i have gotten so much stronger, and for that i am thankful.
i will try to update weekly:)
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
this is real...
sometimes we need silence. sometimes we need friends in our season of life. sometimes we need friends or parents who just listen, but do not offer any kind of advice. well this is where i am....
i have said it many times, but i do not want being single at 31 to define me, but i am a 31 year old woman, whose greatest heart's desire is to be a wife and mom. today, i think i reached my breaking point. literally with pretty much all my groups of friends, i am the ONLY single one left. i am about to attend a wedding, for a dear friend whom we prayed and prayed for an engagement::wedding. i, genuinely am so excited to celebrate her day and be a bridesmaid, but along with that comes this isolating reality that in the 5 years i have known this group of girls, SO MUCH HAS CHANGED, but not with me. one girl got married and just had her baby last week. one girl is married and has a 5 month old. one girl got married a few months back and told me today she is pregnant. the bride, who is one of the most thoughtful and sweet friends has been praying that i would have a date for the wedding, but i will not. today, i cried and cried. i just don't understand why my God, who loves me more than i can even imagine, does not have it in His Will for me to meet someone, to get married, or to be a mom. i.am.sad.
tonight, my single friends in charlotte helped a lot. they are a blessing beyond words; however, i hate that they know my pain. tonight my mom listened, without offering advice and that is what i needed. tonight, a friend went with me to hot yoga, and that helped probably more than she will know.
i know i have to trust HIS plan and will for my life. are we promised this will be easy, absolutely not. do i need prayer to remember these things, absolutely. i decided tonight that if i focus more on God's word, then i will stop having this pity party. i read somewhere, that if you are having a pity party for yourself then you are focusing to much on yourself and not enough on God. the verse that says, i need to decrease, so HE will INCREASE is so relevant tonight. also, lately, i have been angry at God. this scares me to type, but it is real. everyone has their own struggles and season of waiting, but this is mine.
what i try so very hard to do is to find ways to serve others. i have been blessed with an amazing church family, with so many friends who have kids, so i get to love on them. while this is not the path i would have chosen, it brings me joy to love on these precious kids, to take them out for special things to give their parents a break. this has helped me.
the point of this post is for me to remember that this is real. this is painful, but i always have hope. i wish that we could find out what was going to happen, but that would not be living by faith.
i have to trust that someone who loves me more than anyone ever can, has a greater plan. HE LOVES ME. he wants me to focus on him, to grow deeply in love with HIM.
so, i have had my sad day, my day of anger, and my day of lots of tears. tomorrow is a new day, and for that i am thankful.
to all my single friends, i promise to boldly pray for you. i want so badly for all of us to find someone. please know that while you are a blessing to me, i pray that you will not be in this season much longer. i pray that when you feel lonely or need someone to talk to, you will call me. to my married friends, i am sure you have your struggles too, so i will pray for you, for your marriage to grow stronger. to my friends who are new mommies, i will pray for you. i will pray for sleep, for you. what i cannot promise is that i will not have days like this again. i hate that i cannot be sunshine and roses all the time, but this is real life, the good, bad, and ugly.
and on that note, i am going to bed.
i have said it many times, but i do not want being single at 31 to define me, but i am a 31 year old woman, whose greatest heart's desire is to be a wife and mom. today, i think i reached my breaking point. literally with pretty much all my groups of friends, i am the ONLY single one left. i am about to attend a wedding, for a dear friend whom we prayed and prayed for an engagement::wedding. i, genuinely am so excited to celebrate her day and be a bridesmaid, but along with that comes this isolating reality that in the 5 years i have known this group of girls, SO MUCH HAS CHANGED, but not with me. one girl got married and just had her baby last week. one girl is married and has a 5 month old. one girl got married a few months back and told me today she is pregnant. the bride, who is one of the most thoughtful and sweet friends has been praying that i would have a date for the wedding, but i will not. today, i cried and cried. i just don't understand why my God, who loves me more than i can even imagine, does not have it in His Will for me to meet someone, to get married, or to be a mom. i.am.sad.
tonight, my single friends in charlotte helped a lot. they are a blessing beyond words; however, i hate that they know my pain. tonight my mom listened, without offering advice and that is what i needed. tonight, a friend went with me to hot yoga, and that helped probably more than she will know.
i know i have to trust HIS plan and will for my life. are we promised this will be easy, absolutely not. do i need prayer to remember these things, absolutely. i decided tonight that if i focus more on God's word, then i will stop having this pity party. i read somewhere, that if you are having a pity party for yourself then you are focusing to much on yourself and not enough on God. the verse that says, i need to decrease, so HE will INCREASE is so relevant tonight. also, lately, i have been angry at God. this scares me to type, but it is real. everyone has their own struggles and season of waiting, but this is mine.
what i try so very hard to do is to find ways to serve others. i have been blessed with an amazing church family, with so many friends who have kids, so i get to love on them. while this is not the path i would have chosen, it brings me joy to love on these precious kids, to take them out for special things to give their parents a break. this has helped me.
the point of this post is for me to remember that this is real. this is painful, but i always have hope. i wish that we could find out what was going to happen, but that would not be living by faith.
i have to trust that someone who loves me more than anyone ever can, has a greater plan. HE LOVES ME. he wants me to focus on him, to grow deeply in love with HIM.
so, i have had my sad day, my day of anger, and my day of lots of tears. tomorrow is a new day, and for that i am thankful.
to all my single friends, i promise to boldly pray for you. i want so badly for all of us to find someone. please know that while you are a blessing to me, i pray that you will not be in this season much longer. i pray that when you feel lonely or need someone to talk to, you will call me. to my married friends, i am sure you have your struggles too, so i will pray for you, for your marriage to grow stronger. to my friends who are new mommies, i will pray for you. i will pray for sleep, for you. what i cannot promise is that i will not have days like this again. i hate that i cannot be sunshine and roses all the time, but this is real life, the good, bad, and ugly.
and on that note, i am going to bed.
Friday, January 3, 2014
Closing 2013, Starting 2014
so, it is hard to believe another year is coming to an end. i am pretty goal driven or dream big, so reflecting back on a year is something i typically do. i would like to think that the fact that i am not married or anywhere close doesn't bother me, but it is always in the back of my mind. i am trying so very hard to not let it define me though. the other day, i was at a friend's birthday party, it was 9 single girls, all girls who are in their 30s, fabulous, Jesus-loving girls. one girl came up to me at the end of the party and she said, "your Christmas card was my absolute favorite. seriously girl, after all the babies and wedding pictures on cards, it was refreshing to get one that said, i'm single and i am still living my life, very blessed, lots of happy things and celebrations." it was so very encouraging, but the simple truth is... it is true. just because i don't have my own babies to put on the card or a husband, that doesn't mean that i don't have so many blessings to celebrate from the year. my card was nearly poster size and God has blessed me with so much. from concerts, mission trips, friends weddings, babies, becoming an aunt, my job, and so much more, it was a great year:)
i am excited for a new year, a new start, a clean slate...so, i'm going back to my list of things, resolutions, goals, bucket list, etc, so their will be 32, because i turn 32 in 2014, YIKES.
so, here goes....
1. go on a fun vacation, a trip for fun, somewhere for relaxation
2. lose 25 pounds, lofty goal, but i need to be healthy, as i am not getting younger
3. exercise more. quite simple; just do it.
4. learn to sew. stop saying it, learn and do.
5. bad habit i need to break, no technology in my bedroom.
6. quiet time in the morning, which means wake up earlier.
7. go zip lining.
8. spend more time with my grandfather.
9. be more intentional.
10. make my bed daily, as clean as i am, this is the one thing i do not do, ha (my mother raised me better)
11. eat more veggies!
12. save more, budget better.
13. HUGE GOAL:: try as hard as i can to stop buying clothes, i am doing a bible study and counted how many article of clothing and accessories i have, let's just say i cannot even type the number. it has to stop.
14. purge stuff, they aren't going with me when i leave this place.
15. focus on growing in my relationship with God:: Being STILL. Trusting in HIS plan.
16. surprise people more, it is fun:)
17. drink more water.
18. go hiking, just that simple
19. read more, always a goal.
20. read my Bible more. don't give up, be intentional about quiet time.
21. go somewhere that i haven't been before. a new place.
22. stop drinking coke again, we all know it has always been my vice. i stopped for a good two years, i can do it again. I CAN DO IT!!!
23. look into going to Uganda, really God is stirring this in my heart. but truthfully, i want to go where He has called me.
24. look into getting a dog. i go back and forth, but i think it would be nice to have a companion. i think i want to do rescue, and not a puppy, so it will be housebroken/trained.
25. focus more at work, really strive to do better. last year wasn't my best in my role, so i want to really exceed expectations. i am so blessed to work for a great company.
26. take adult gymnastics, really i want to do this.
27. try a hot yoga class or yoga in general.
28. would love to find a cheap way to do barre classes, I LOVED pure barre, but it was outrageously expensive. if anyone sees a living social or groupon, holla at this girl!
29. write in my journal more and blog more often.
30. start a jar full of memories, praises, answered prayers, etc for 2014 and read on December 31, 2014 to reflect on the year
31. to live this year not letting my singleness define me, but by loving others and encouraging others who are single. this road gets lonely at times, but God has blessed me. i want to be a blessing and encouragement to others.
32. cook more, eat out less often.
okay, i think that is a lot, but most of them are manageable.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
God's goodness and wonderful friends
so, this post is 100% to brag on how good God is and how incredible the friends are that He has blessed me with. it is no secret that i go through different stages, and the last few months have been a bit difficult as it has been a season of overwhelming amounts of friends getting engaged, married, getting pregnant, and having babies. while i am seriously so happy for them, it is hard to not question God as to why i am having to wait. one thing i do know, He is constantly building my character and teaching me lessons, and each and every day i find contentment in the blessings. the past few weekends i have literally had a shower (maybe more than one) - baby or wedding, a wedding, or something pertaining to this and it has been difficult. i am not writing this to be a sob story, because i have been so encouraged and reminded how much God loves me through my amazing friends.
text messages from friends for example::
this weekend i went to a wedding for a friend in dallas, the bride sent me a text on our way to texas:: "Hey girl! Thanks for traveling all the way to Dallas via Atlanta. Drive safely! I'm praying for your heart this weekend especially - I pray God gives you the desires of your heart & you know he and many others love you.. in the wait, I hope you can find joy and contentment. I know it's hard but so worth fighting for! Love you..."
emails from friends...
my friend, J, said, "I know you are struggling with your friends being in a season of change right now and that being frustrating for you since you are not where you want to be. Just know that I want for you to find your husband more than anything. I truly believe that GOD is going to surprise you in a big way with your future husband."
another friend, my other casey:) "Please hear me when I say I am praying for you too! that the Lord is preparing a Godly man for you in a surprising package. I agree with J that you are going to get swept off your feet by something really unexpected and I am seriously giddy to see it happen. I will be bodly pleading for the timing of that "sweeping" and that it comes soon. I also hope that this weekend, although about kasey, you felt loved and beautiful. I don't really mean an inner beauty either, you looked hot and I hope you felt it (ps our room was 60 degrees, so if you didn't you should probably go see a doctor :)"
my friend, E, "Want you to know that I'm praying for YOU for you to have peace and trust in God during this season of waiting AND for him to overflow your freaking life with people who can relate to you, who can bring you so much joy and who will NEVER make you feel badly for being real and honest about however you are feeling - good, bad, or ugly!"
my name twin sent me the sweetest message, that you can all read, she put it as a comment on here a few weeks back. love her for her sweet words and encouragement.
another friend linda, who has an incredible story of an adoption journey, she is actually meeting her 3 1/2 year old daughter for the first time tomorrow and i cannot wait to meet them all when they get back to charlotte!!! linda sent me a text on sunday, at the wedding, saying, "Thinking of you today. As we head out on this trip to pick up our daughter (in Chicago right now!) thinking of what a faithful friend you are, celebrating Kasey today. And how, like me on this adoption journey, you will be one day (soon) be celebrating YOUR wedding, and the wait and everything else will vanish as you marvel in the perfect timing God has for you."
gotta love my crazy, sassy, texan, candice, "I've been praying for your spouse like crazy over the past week. Please tell me you met yourself a Texas Cowboy this weekend:)" haha, gotta love the laughs this provided, but so thankful for her prayers:)
my best friends from college have also reached out and been amazing friends, holly sent me a very sweet email and while i do not want her to understand and i want her to be married, she is in this season too, so she provided great advice. bay calls often to check in and is a great listener, and michele and i are constantly play phone tag.
i am sure there are others that i am forgetting, not intentionally, but these texts/emails stand out in this season.
okay, really, all of these messages and words of encouragement. each and every message has reminded me how loved and prayed for i am. i am truly blessed by amazing friends, and for that i can never thank God enough for that.
text messages from friends for example::
this weekend i went to a wedding for a friend in dallas, the bride sent me a text on our way to texas:: "Hey girl! Thanks for traveling all the way to Dallas via Atlanta. Drive safely! I'm praying for your heart this weekend especially - I pray God gives you the desires of your heart & you know he and many others love you.. in the wait, I hope you can find joy and contentment. I know it's hard but so worth fighting for! Love you..."
emails from friends...
my friend, J, said, "I know you are struggling with your friends being in a season of change right now and that being frustrating for you since you are not where you want to be. Just know that I want for you to find your husband more than anything. I truly believe that GOD is going to surprise you in a big way with your future husband."
another friend, my other casey:) "Please hear me when I say I am praying for you too! that the Lord is preparing a Godly man for you in a surprising package. I agree with J that you are going to get swept off your feet by something really unexpected and I am seriously giddy to see it happen. I will be bodly pleading for the timing of that "sweeping" and that it comes soon. I also hope that this weekend, although about kasey, you felt loved and beautiful. I don't really mean an inner beauty either, you looked hot and I hope you felt it (ps our room was 60 degrees, so if you didn't you should probably go see a doctor :)"
my friend, E, "Want you to know that I'm praying for YOU for you to have peace and trust in God during this season of waiting AND for him to overflow your freaking life with people who can relate to you, who can bring you so much joy and who will NEVER make you feel badly for being real and honest about however you are feeling - good, bad, or ugly!"
my name twin sent me the sweetest message, that you can all read, she put it as a comment on here a few weeks back. love her for her sweet words and encouragement.
another friend linda, who has an incredible story of an adoption journey, she is actually meeting her 3 1/2 year old daughter for the first time tomorrow and i cannot wait to meet them all when they get back to charlotte!!! linda sent me a text on sunday, at the wedding, saying, "Thinking of you today. As we head out on this trip to pick up our daughter (in Chicago right now!) thinking of what a faithful friend you are, celebrating Kasey today. And how, like me on this adoption journey, you will be one day (soon) be celebrating YOUR wedding, and the wait and everything else will vanish as you marvel in the perfect timing God has for you."
gotta love my crazy, sassy, texan, candice, "I've been praying for your spouse like crazy over the past week. Please tell me you met yourself a Texas Cowboy this weekend:)" haha, gotta love the laughs this provided, but so thankful for her prayers:)
my best friends from college have also reached out and been amazing friends, holly sent me a very sweet email and while i do not want her to understand and i want her to be married, she is in this season too, so she provided great advice. bay calls often to check in and is a great listener, and michele and i are constantly play phone tag.
i am sure there are others that i am forgetting, not intentionally, but these texts/emails stand out in this season.
okay, really, all of these messages and words of encouragement. each and every message has reminded me how loved and prayed for i am. i am truly blessed by amazing friends, and for that i can never thank God enough for that.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
social media fast experience
so last week my friend jess and i took a week away from social media, what did i learn from this experience... allow me to share:)
i learned....
- while i felt a little out of the loop, for the most part, it was freeing to not compare my life to everyone else's external "happy social media life"
- i have become entirely too dependent on checking all forms of social media in my free time (whether that is a teleconference at work, at a red light, while waiting on a friend for dinner, while watching tv, etc)
- i need to be more intentional/purposeful with my time
- you have a lot more time when you are not spending your free time "keeping up with the Jones"
- a week of not seeing a post about a pregnancy/engagement was nice (sorry, just speaking the truth)
- the first thing and last thing i do before i wake up or go to bed, should not be check my phone, it should be to get on my knees and thank God for another day
- a few people actually missed my random posts and updates on what was going on in my life, but i mostly missed posting pictures (i had some fantastic pics of Jason Aldean from the concert)
every time i wanted to jump on FB or instagram, i had to think about why i was doing it. i thought about what God was trying to teach me, and i must say i am glad i did it. i know i need to be on them less. i know i need to stop comparing myself to others. i know that it steals my joy and takes up entirely too much of my time. one of my good friends, bayley (bay) called and offered to let me call her every time i wanted to check it, ha, her phone would have blown up a lot in the beginning of the week, but it was nice to have friends supporting me in my break!
i am always up for a challenge, especially one that will teach me a valuable lesson!
i learned....
- while i felt a little out of the loop, for the most part, it was freeing to not compare my life to everyone else's external "happy social media life"
- i have become entirely too dependent on checking all forms of social media in my free time (whether that is a teleconference at work, at a red light, while waiting on a friend for dinner, while watching tv, etc)
- i need to be more intentional/purposeful with my time
- you have a lot more time when you are not spending your free time "keeping up with the Jones"
- a week of not seeing a post about a pregnancy/engagement was nice (sorry, just speaking the truth)
- the first thing and last thing i do before i wake up or go to bed, should not be check my phone, it should be to get on my knees and thank God for another day
- a few people actually missed my random posts and updates on what was going on in my life, but i mostly missed posting pictures (i had some fantastic pics of Jason Aldean from the concert)
every time i wanted to jump on FB or instagram, i had to think about why i was doing it. i thought about what God was trying to teach me, and i must say i am glad i did it. i know i need to be on them less. i know i need to stop comparing myself to others. i know that it steals my joy and takes up entirely too much of my time. one of my good friends, bayley (bay) called and offered to let me call her every time i wanted to check it, ha, her phone would have blown up a lot in the beginning of the week, but it was nice to have friends supporting me in my break!
i am always up for a challenge, especially one that will teach me a valuable lesson!
Friday, September 6, 2013
this is life, but i have HOPE
sometimes i use my blog as an outlet, sometimes i am funny, sometimes i am not, tonight is not going to be one for comic relief, but this is my life, the good, the bad, and sometimes writing on my blog is a healthy for me. to the few of you who read it, i apologize in advance, but i give you permission to skip this post.
the truth is, my life is somewhat of a whirlwind right now, or heck i could even say a storm, but at the same time, i have so many blessings and i am trying so very hard to focus on those and remember God's truths in the midst of all of this.
at 25 i bought a townhouse, i'd like to say it was the dumbest decision i ever made, but a friend from church gave me some great perspective. she said, be thankful that God gave you the brains, maturity, and stability, while most 25 year olds can barely pay regular bills, this is true. i could beat myself up everyday for it, but the truth is it is a part of my story, i have learned a lot from this experience, and now i know not to make a huge decision like this again without over-analyzing this like i do everything else in my life. regardless, it is the biggest source of stress in my life, and the property is underwater by about 50 to 60 thousand dollars. unfortunately, as i have posted before, i had to move out due to the crime/unsafe living conditions, so i have had renters in the house for the last year. well, last time i checked, i am single and only have one income. don't get me wrong, God has blessed me tremendously, but not to the point where i can afford mortgage and rent, without paying tenants. last week, i probably only slept 3-4 hours a night, as i was up researching all of my options, i won't bore you with all of that, but what i will say is prayers are welcome. i have worked so hard to get where i am, and i am really struggling with pride ( i know it is ugly) and struggling with the lessons God is trying to teach me through all of this. the positive of this... God is sovereign, He knew this was going to happen, He is ABLE, He will provide, and He will protect me. He also has provided me a safe, secure condo that i sleep at night, not in fear, and i have great neighbors:)
i think many of you know, i do a lot of celebrating for my friends, God has blessed me with AMAZING friends, for which i could never thank him enough for; however, with that comes that evil word, comparison. i am about to be in my seventeenth wedding, and this is my best friend in the entire world, oh how excited i am for this one:) this is her first real long term boyfriend and it turns out he is her future husband:) the truth is, i am struggling not to be sad when i see or hear about another engagement or pregnancy. it is hard, as i only get older each day, to remember that there is a reason for this waiting. i have prayed for God to take this desire away to be a wife and a mom, but He doesn't take it away. goodness, most days i feel that it only increases. within the last couple weeks the amount of pregnancy and engagement announcements, wedding invitation, baby shower invitations has been quite overwhelming. while i am genuinely so excited for my friends, there is a part of me, that is so sad because it isn't happening for me. i feel as though i do a pretty good job of focusing on celebrating my friends, and never voicing my sadness. today though, God reminded through my precious friend Lica that he hasn't forgotten. to say that i lost it and couldn't stop crying would be an understatement... literally, she text me at 9:17 AM this morning with the following text::
I cannot stop thinking about you. And have been praying for your heart all this week non-stop. Just wanted you to know that in case it means anything. The words "you are the God who seems me" pop in my head for you. He sees YOU and knows YOUR heart and its desires. Trust in his plan. He is FAITHFUL and loves you. Believe me my heart aches for you. And it brings ME to tears. Because the waiting is soooo hard and it may look like he has forgotten. But I know in my heart he WILL fulfill this promise. And I'll keep praying until he does:)
there are not enough words of thankfulness i could say to her for her words of encouragement today. I tend to cover up my hurt or sadness, but her reminder to me today was so needed. goodness i haven't cried like that in a while, but sometimes you just have to let it out.
the truth is, God hasn't forgotten, but sometimes i think He has.
the following lyrics are encouraging tonight::
And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
the truth is, my life is somewhat of a whirlwind right now, or heck i could even say a storm, but at the same time, i have so many blessings and i am trying so very hard to focus on those and remember God's truths in the midst of all of this.
at 25 i bought a townhouse, i'd like to say it was the dumbest decision i ever made, but a friend from church gave me some great perspective. she said, be thankful that God gave you the brains, maturity, and stability, while most 25 year olds can barely pay regular bills, this is true. i could beat myself up everyday for it, but the truth is it is a part of my story, i have learned a lot from this experience, and now i know not to make a huge decision like this again without over-analyzing this like i do everything else in my life. regardless, it is the biggest source of stress in my life, and the property is underwater by about 50 to 60 thousand dollars. unfortunately, as i have posted before, i had to move out due to the crime/unsafe living conditions, so i have had renters in the house for the last year. well, last time i checked, i am single and only have one income. don't get me wrong, God has blessed me tremendously, but not to the point where i can afford mortgage and rent, without paying tenants. last week, i probably only slept 3-4 hours a night, as i was up researching all of my options, i won't bore you with all of that, but what i will say is prayers are welcome. i have worked so hard to get where i am, and i am really struggling with pride ( i know it is ugly) and struggling with the lessons God is trying to teach me through all of this. the positive of this... God is sovereign, He knew this was going to happen, He is ABLE, He will provide, and He will protect me. He also has provided me a safe, secure condo that i sleep at night, not in fear, and i have great neighbors:)
i think many of you know, i do a lot of celebrating for my friends, God has blessed me with AMAZING friends, for which i could never thank him enough for; however, with that comes that evil word, comparison. i am about to be in my seventeenth wedding, and this is my best friend in the entire world, oh how excited i am for this one:) this is her first real long term boyfriend and it turns out he is her future husband:) the truth is, i am struggling not to be sad when i see or hear about another engagement or pregnancy. it is hard, as i only get older each day, to remember that there is a reason for this waiting. i have prayed for God to take this desire away to be a wife and a mom, but He doesn't take it away. goodness, most days i feel that it only increases. within the last couple weeks the amount of pregnancy and engagement announcements, wedding invitation, baby shower invitations has been quite overwhelming. while i am genuinely so excited for my friends, there is a part of me, that is so sad because it isn't happening for me. i feel as though i do a pretty good job of focusing on celebrating my friends, and never voicing my sadness. today though, God reminded through my precious friend Lica that he hasn't forgotten. to say that i lost it and couldn't stop crying would be an understatement... literally, she text me at 9:17 AM this morning with the following text::
I cannot stop thinking about you. And have been praying for your heart all this week non-stop. Just wanted you to know that in case it means anything. The words "you are the God who seems me" pop in my head for you. He sees YOU and knows YOUR heart and its desires. Trust in his plan. He is FAITHFUL and loves you. Believe me my heart aches for you. And it brings ME to tears. Because the waiting is soooo hard and it may look like he has forgotten. But I know in my heart he WILL fulfill this promise. And I'll keep praying until he does:)
there are not enough words of thankfulness i could say to her for her words of encouragement today. I tend to cover up my hurt or sadness, but her reminder to me today was so needed. goodness i haven't cried like that in a while, but sometimes you just have to let it out.
the truth is, God hasn't forgotten, but sometimes i think He has.
the following lyrics are encouraging tonight::
And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
Monday, August 19, 2013
asking for accountability/help:: weight loss goal
so, i have posted on my blog before my struggles with eating healthy, typically the working out part isn't my challenge, but eating healthy is. i am 30 years old and i turn 31 in december, so i have a goal to lose 20 pounds by my 31st birthday. i know i can do this and isn't so much about the number as it is, just feeling better about myself, being tone, and making healthier choices. so, to the few people who read my blog, i am asking for any advice, suggestions, ideas, tricks that have helped you...
1. eating healthy is my biggest struggle... i love carbs, don't really like to cook, but i am trying to budget so i can buy a new car, so i will cook to budget better. i like a lot of healthy foods, but i really like some unhealthy ones (chips and guacamole, french fries, cheese, bagels with cream cheese, really just all carbs, garden salsa sun chips, chocolate chip cookies to name a few). i really like all fruits, zucchini, squash, corn, potatoes, asparagus, and cucumbers (occasionally). i absolutely hate green beans, greens, mushrooms, and peppers. all others that are listed, i can probably stomach or eat, but they aren't my favorite.
2. working out... i am not a runner, and my feet constantly give me trouble, i have been told i have morton's neuroma, but i am going to get a second opinion next week, so maybe he will give me some solution. i love classes at the gym, but need to know if the schedule or classes i am doing are a good mix.
3. clean eating, i have been thinking about doing clean eating, but wondering if i am capable of doing it. is that too drastic and will i crash and burn? i have tried weight watchers before and had great success, but i typically lose interest about week six or seven. do food journals help anyone?
4. the most definite thing i will do is cut out soft drinks all together, no more coke for this girl. also, very limited starbucks white chocolate mochas. when it starts getting cool again, i can get my french vanilla americano which is only 40 calories, woot. empty calories from drinks is stupid.
overall, i know i need to love the body God has given me, but sometimes that is just hard. i so desperately want to love this body, but i want it to be more toned, more slim, and i want my clothes to fit better.
1. eating healthy is my biggest struggle... i love carbs, don't really like to cook, but i am trying to budget so i can buy a new car, so i will cook to budget better. i like a lot of healthy foods, but i really like some unhealthy ones (chips and guacamole, french fries, cheese, bagels with cream cheese, really just all carbs, garden salsa sun chips, chocolate chip cookies to name a few). i really like all fruits, zucchini, squash, corn, potatoes, asparagus, and cucumbers (occasionally). i absolutely hate green beans, greens, mushrooms, and peppers. all others that are listed, i can probably stomach or eat, but they aren't my favorite.
2. working out... i am not a runner, and my feet constantly give me trouble, i have been told i have morton's neuroma, but i am going to get a second opinion next week, so maybe he will give me some solution. i love classes at the gym, but need to know if the schedule or classes i am doing are a good mix.
3. clean eating, i have been thinking about doing clean eating, but wondering if i am capable of doing it. is that too drastic and will i crash and burn? i have tried weight watchers before and had great success, but i typically lose interest about week six or seven. do food journals help anyone?
4. the most definite thing i will do is cut out soft drinks all together, no more coke for this girl. also, very limited starbucks white chocolate mochas. when it starts getting cool again, i can get my french vanilla americano which is only 40 calories, woot. empty calories from drinks is stupid.
overall, i know i need to love the body God has given me, but sometimes that is just hard. i so desperately want to love this body, but i want it to be more toned, more slim, and i want my clothes to fit better.
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