Friday, January 3, 2014
Closing 2013, Starting 2014
so, it is hard to believe another year is coming to an end. i am pretty goal driven or dream big, so reflecting back on a year is something i typically do. i would like to think that the fact that i am not married or anywhere close doesn't bother me, but it is always in the back of my mind. i am trying so very hard to not let it define me though. the other day, i was at a friend's birthday party, it was 9 single girls, all girls who are in their 30s, fabulous, Jesus-loving girls. one girl came up to me at the end of the party and she said, "your Christmas card was my absolute favorite. seriously girl, after all the babies and wedding pictures on cards, it was refreshing to get one that said, i'm single and i am still living my life, very blessed, lots of happy things and celebrations." it was so very encouraging, but the simple truth is... it is true. just because i don't have my own babies to put on the card or a husband, that doesn't mean that i don't have so many blessings to celebrate from the year. my card was nearly poster size and God has blessed me with so much. from concerts, mission trips, friends weddings, babies, becoming an aunt, my job, and so much more, it was a great year:)
i am excited for a new year, a new start, a clean slate...so, i'm going back to my list of things, resolutions, goals, bucket list, etc, so their will be 32, because i turn 32 in 2014, YIKES.
so, here goes....
1. go on a fun vacation, a trip for fun, somewhere for relaxation
2. lose 25 pounds, lofty goal, but i need to be healthy, as i am not getting younger
3. exercise more. quite simple; just do it.
4. learn to sew. stop saying it, learn and do.
5. bad habit i need to break, no technology in my bedroom.
6. quiet time in the morning, which means wake up earlier.
7. go zip lining.
8. spend more time with my grandfather.
9. be more intentional.
10. make my bed daily, as clean as i am, this is the one thing i do not do, ha (my mother raised me better)
11. eat more veggies!
12. save more, budget better.
13. HUGE GOAL:: try as hard as i can to stop buying clothes, i am doing a bible study and counted how many article of clothing and accessories i have, let's just say i cannot even type the number. it has to stop.
14. purge stuff, they aren't going with me when i leave this place.
15. focus on growing in my relationship with God:: Being STILL. Trusting in HIS plan.
16. surprise people more, it is fun:)
17. drink more water.
18. go hiking, just that simple
19. read more, always a goal.
20. read my Bible more. don't give up, be intentional about quiet time.
21. go somewhere that i haven't been before. a new place.
22. stop drinking coke again, we all know it has always been my vice. i stopped for a good two years, i can do it again. I CAN DO IT!!!
23. look into going to Uganda, really God is stirring this in my heart. but truthfully, i want to go where He has called me.
24. look into getting a dog. i go back and forth, but i think it would be nice to have a companion. i think i want to do rescue, and not a puppy, so it will be housebroken/trained.
25. focus more at work, really strive to do better. last year wasn't my best in my role, so i want to really exceed expectations. i am so blessed to work for a great company.
26. take adult gymnastics, really i want to do this.
27. try a hot yoga class or yoga in general.
28. would love to find a cheap way to do barre classes, I LOVED pure barre, but it was outrageously expensive. if anyone sees a living social or groupon, holla at this girl!
29. write in my journal more and blog more often.
30. start a jar full of memories, praises, answered prayers, etc for 2014 and read on December 31, 2014 to reflect on the year
31. to live this year not letting my singleness define me, but by loving others and encouraging others who are single. this road gets lonely at times, but God has blessed me. i want to be a blessing and encouragement to others.
32. cook more, eat out less often.
okay, i think that is a lot, but most of them are manageable.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
God's goodness and wonderful friends
so, this post is 100% to brag on how good God is and how incredible the friends are that He has blessed me with. it is no secret that i go through different stages, and the last few months have been a bit difficult as it has been a season of overwhelming amounts of friends getting engaged, married, getting pregnant, and having babies. while i am seriously so happy for them, it is hard to not question God as to why i am having to wait. one thing i do know, He is constantly building my character and teaching me lessons, and each and every day i find contentment in the blessings. the past few weekends i have literally had a shower (maybe more than one) - baby or wedding, a wedding, or something pertaining to this and it has been difficult. i am not writing this to be a sob story, because i have been so encouraged and reminded how much God loves me through my amazing friends.
text messages from friends for example::
this weekend i went to a wedding for a friend in dallas, the bride sent me a text on our way to texas:: "Hey girl! Thanks for traveling all the way to Dallas via Atlanta. Drive safely! I'm praying for your heart this weekend especially - I pray God gives you the desires of your heart & you know he and many others love you.. in the wait, I hope you can find joy and contentment. I know it's hard but so worth fighting for! Love you..."
emails from friends...
my friend, J, said, "I know you are struggling with your friends being in a season of change right now and that being frustrating for you since you are not where you want to be. Just know that I want for you to find your husband more than anything. I truly believe that GOD is going to surprise you in a big way with your future husband."
another friend, my other casey:) "Please hear me when I say I am praying for you too! that the Lord is preparing a Godly man for you in a surprising package. I agree with J that you are going to get swept off your feet by something really unexpected and I am seriously giddy to see it happen. I will be bodly pleading for the timing of that "sweeping" and that it comes soon. I also hope that this weekend, although about kasey, you felt loved and beautiful. I don't really mean an inner beauty either, you looked hot and I hope you felt it (ps our room was 60 degrees, so if you didn't you should probably go see a doctor :)"
my friend, E, "Want you to know that I'm praying for YOU for you to have peace and trust in God during this season of waiting AND for him to overflow your freaking life with people who can relate to you, who can bring you so much joy and who will NEVER make you feel badly for being real and honest about however you are feeling - good, bad, or ugly!"
my name twin sent me the sweetest message, that you can all read, she put it as a comment on here a few weeks back. love her for her sweet words and encouragement.
another friend linda, who has an incredible story of an adoption journey, she is actually meeting her 3 1/2 year old daughter for the first time tomorrow and i cannot wait to meet them all when they get back to charlotte!!! linda sent me a text on sunday, at the wedding, saying, "Thinking of you today. As we head out on this trip to pick up our daughter (in Chicago right now!) thinking of what a faithful friend you are, celebrating Kasey today. And how, like me on this adoption journey, you will be one day (soon) be celebrating YOUR wedding, and the wait and everything else will vanish as you marvel in the perfect timing God has for you."
gotta love my crazy, sassy, texan, candice, "I've been praying for your spouse like crazy over the past week. Please tell me you met yourself a Texas Cowboy this weekend:)" haha, gotta love the laughs this provided, but so thankful for her prayers:)
my best friends from college have also reached out and been amazing friends, holly sent me a very sweet email and while i do not want her to understand and i want her to be married, she is in this season too, so she provided great advice. bay calls often to check in and is a great listener, and michele and i are constantly play phone tag.
i am sure there are others that i am forgetting, not intentionally, but these texts/emails stand out in this season.
okay, really, all of these messages and words of encouragement. each and every message has reminded me how loved and prayed for i am. i am truly blessed by amazing friends, and for that i can never thank God enough for that.
text messages from friends for example::
this weekend i went to a wedding for a friend in dallas, the bride sent me a text on our way to texas:: "Hey girl! Thanks for traveling all the way to Dallas via Atlanta. Drive safely! I'm praying for your heart this weekend especially - I pray God gives you the desires of your heart & you know he and many others love you.. in the wait, I hope you can find joy and contentment. I know it's hard but so worth fighting for! Love you..."
emails from friends...
my friend, J, said, "I know you are struggling with your friends being in a season of change right now and that being frustrating for you since you are not where you want to be. Just know that I want for you to find your husband more than anything. I truly believe that GOD is going to surprise you in a big way with your future husband."
another friend, my other casey:) "Please hear me when I say I am praying for you too! that the Lord is preparing a Godly man for you in a surprising package. I agree with J that you are going to get swept off your feet by something really unexpected and I am seriously giddy to see it happen. I will be bodly pleading for the timing of that "sweeping" and that it comes soon. I also hope that this weekend, although about kasey, you felt loved and beautiful. I don't really mean an inner beauty either, you looked hot and I hope you felt it (ps our room was 60 degrees, so if you didn't you should probably go see a doctor :)"
my friend, E, "Want you to know that I'm praying for YOU for you to have peace and trust in God during this season of waiting AND for him to overflow your freaking life with people who can relate to you, who can bring you so much joy and who will NEVER make you feel badly for being real and honest about however you are feeling - good, bad, or ugly!"
my name twin sent me the sweetest message, that you can all read, she put it as a comment on here a few weeks back. love her for her sweet words and encouragement.
another friend linda, who has an incredible story of an adoption journey, she is actually meeting her 3 1/2 year old daughter for the first time tomorrow and i cannot wait to meet them all when they get back to charlotte!!! linda sent me a text on sunday, at the wedding, saying, "Thinking of you today. As we head out on this trip to pick up our daughter (in Chicago right now!) thinking of what a faithful friend you are, celebrating Kasey today. And how, like me on this adoption journey, you will be one day (soon) be celebrating YOUR wedding, and the wait and everything else will vanish as you marvel in the perfect timing God has for you."
gotta love my crazy, sassy, texan, candice, "I've been praying for your spouse like crazy over the past week. Please tell me you met yourself a Texas Cowboy this weekend:)" haha, gotta love the laughs this provided, but so thankful for her prayers:)
my best friends from college have also reached out and been amazing friends, holly sent me a very sweet email and while i do not want her to understand and i want her to be married, she is in this season too, so she provided great advice. bay calls often to check in and is a great listener, and michele and i are constantly play phone tag.
i am sure there are others that i am forgetting, not intentionally, but these texts/emails stand out in this season.
okay, really, all of these messages and words of encouragement. each and every message has reminded me how loved and prayed for i am. i am truly blessed by amazing friends, and for that i can never thank God enough for that.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
social media fast experience
so last week my friend jess and i took a week away from social media, what did i learn from this experience... allow me to share:)
i learned....
- while i felt a little out of the loop, for the most part, it was freeing to not compare my life to everyone else's external "happy social media life"
- i have become entirely too dependent on checking all forms of social media in my free time (whether that is a teleconference at work, at a red light, while waiting on a friend for dinner, while watching tv, etc)
- i need to be more intentional/purposeful with my time
- you have a lot more time when you are not spending your free time "keeping up with the Jones"
- a week of not seeing a post about a pregnancy/engagement was nice (sorry, just speaking the truth)
- the first thing and last thing i do before i wake up or go to bed, should not be check my phone, it should be to get on my knees and thank God for another day
- a few people actually missed my random posts and updates on what was going on in my life, but i mostly missed posting pictures (i had some fantastic pics of Jason Aldean from the concert)
every time i wanted to jump on FB or instagram, i had to think about why i was doing it. i thought about what God was trying to teach me, and i must say i am glad i did it. i know i need to be on them less. i know i need to stop comparing myself to others. i know that it steals my joy and takes up entirely too much of my time. one of my good friends, bayley (bay) called and offered to let me call her every time i wanted to check it, ha, her phone would have blown up a lot in the beginning of the week, but it was nice to have friends supporting me in my break!
i am always up for a challenge, especially one that will teach me a valuable lesson!
i learned....
- while i felt a little out of the loop, for the most part, it was freeing to not compare my life to everyone else's external "happy social media life"
- i have become entirely too dependent on checking all forms of social media in my free time (whether that is a teleconference at work, at a red light, while waiting on a friend for dinner, while watching tv, etc)
- i need to be more intentional/purposeful with my time
- you have a lot more time when you are not spending your free time "keeping up with the Jones"
- a week of not seeing a post about a pregnancy/engagement was nice (sorry, just speaking the truth)
- the first thing and last thing i do before i wake up or go to bed, should not be check my phone, it should be to get on my knees and thank God for another day
- a few people actually missed my random posts and updates on what was going on in my life, but i mostly missed posting pictures (i had some fantastic pics of Jason Aldean from the concert)
every time i wanted to jump on FB or instagram, i had to think about why i was doing it. i thought about what God was trying to teach me, and i must say i am glad i did it. i know i need to be on them less. i know i need to stop comparing myself to others. i know that it steals my joy and takes up entirely too much of my time. one of my good friends, bayley (bay) called and offered to let me call her every time i wanted to check it, ha, her phone would have blown up a lot in the beginning of the week, but it was nice to have friends supporting me in my break!
i am always up for a challenge, especially one that will teach me a valuable lesson!
Friday, September 6, 2013
this is life, but i have HOPE
sometimes i use my blog as an outlet, sometimes i am funny, sometimes i am not, tonight is not going to be one for comic relief, but this is my life, the good, the bad, and sometimes writing on my blog is a healthy for me. to the few of you who read it, i apologize in advance, but i give you permission to skip this post.
the truth is, my life is somewhat of a whirlwind right now, or heck i could even say a storm, but at the same time, i have so many blessings and i am trying so very hard to focus on those and remember God's truths in the midst of all of this.
at 25 i bought a townhouse, i'd like to say it was the dumbest decision i ever made, but a friend from church gave me some great perspective. she said, be thankful that God gave you the brains, maturity, and stability, while most 25 year olds can barely pay regular bills, this is true. i could beat myself up everyday for it, but the truth is it is a part of my story, i have learned a lot from this experience, and now i know not to make a huge decision like this again without over-analyzing this like i do everything else in my life. regardless, it is the biggest source of stress in my life, and the property is underwater by about 50 to 60 thousand dollars. unfortunately, as i have posted before, i had to move out due to the crime/unsafe living conditions, so i have had renters in the house for the last year. well, last time i checked, i am single and only have one income. don't get me wrong, God has blessed me tremendously, but not to the point where i can afford mortgage and rent, without paying tenants. last week, i probably only slept 3-4 hours a night, as i was up researching all of my options, i won't bore you with all of that, but what i will say is prayers are welcome. i have worked so hard to get where i am, and i am really struggling with pride ( i know it is ugly) and struggling with the lessons God is trying to teach me through all of this. the positive of this... God is sovereign, He knew this was going to happen, He is ABLE, He will provide, and He will protect me. He also has provided me a safe, secure condo that i sleep at night, not in fear, and i have great neighbors:)
i think many of you know, i do a lot of celebrating for my friends, God has blessed me with AMAZING friends, for which i could never thank him enough for; however, with that comes that evil word, comparison. i am about to be in my seventeenth wedding, and this is my best friend in the entire world, oh how excited i am for this one:) this is her first real long term boyfriend and it turns out he is her future husband:) the truth is, i am struggling not to be sad when i see or hear about another engagement or pregnancy. it is hard, as i only get older each day, to remember that there is a reason for this waiting. i have prayed for God to take this desire away to be a wife and a mom, but He doesn't take it away. goodness, most days i feel that it only increases. within the last couple weeks the amount of pregnancy and engagement announcements, wedding invitation, baby shower invitations has been quite overwhelming. while i am genuinely so excited for my friends, there is a part of me, that is so sad because it isn't happening for me. i feel as though i do a pretty good job of focusing on celebrating my friends, and never voicing my sadness. today though, God reminded through my precious friend Lica that he hasn't forgotten. to say that i lost it and couldn't stop crying would be an understatement... literally, she text me at 9:17 AM this morning with the following text::
I cannot stop thinking about you. And have been praying for your heart all this week non-stop. Just wanted you to know that in case it means anything. The words "you are the God who seems me" pop in my head for you. He sees YOU and knows YOUR heart and its desires. Trust in his plan. He is FAITHFUL and loves you. Believe me my heart aches for you. And it brings ME to tears. Because the waiting is soooo hard and it may look like he has forgotten. But I know in my heart he WILL fulfill this promise. And I'll keep praying until he does:)
there are not enough words of thankfulness i could say to her for her words of encouragement today. I tend to cover up my hurt or sadness, but her reminder to me today was so needed. goodness i haven't cried like that in a while, but sometimes you just have to let it out.
the truth is, God hasn't forgotten, but sometimes i think He has.
the following lyrics are encouraging tonight::
And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
the truth is, my life is somewhat of a whirlwind right now, or heck i could even say a storm, but at the same time, i have so many blessings and i am trying so very hard to focus on those and remember God's truths in the midst of all of this.
at 25 i bought a townhouse, i'd like to say it was the dumbest decision i ever made, but a friend from church gave me some great perspective. she said, be thankful that God gave you the brains, maturity, and stability, while most 25 year olds can barely pay regular bills, this is true. i could beat myself up everyday for it, but the truth is it is a part of my story, i have learned a lot from this experience, and now i know not to make a huge decision like this again without over-analyzing this like i do everything else in my life. regardless, it is the biggest source of stress in my life, and the property is underwater by about 50 to 60 thousand dollars. unfortunately, as i have posted before, i had to move out due to the crime/unsafe living conditions, so i have had renters in the house for the last year. well, last time i checked, i am single and only have one income. don't get me wrong, God has blessed me tremendously, but not to the point where i can afford mortgage and rent, without paying tenants. last week, i probably only slept 3-4 hours a night, as i was up researching all of my options, i won't bore you with all of that, but what i will say is prayers are welcome. i have worked so hard to get where i am, and i am really struggling with pride ( i know it is ugly) and struggling with the lessons God is trying to teach me through all of this. the positive of this... God is sovereign, He knew this was going to happen, He is ABLE, He will provide, and He will protect me. He also has provided me a safe, secure condo that i sleep at night, not in fear, and i have great neighbors:)
i think many of you know, i do a lot of celebrating for my friends, God has blessed me with AMAZING friends, for which i could never thank him enough for; however, with that comes that evil word, comparison. i am about to be in my seventeenth wedding, and this is my best friend in the entire world, oh how excited i am for this one:) this is her first real long term boyfriend and it turns out he is her future husband:) the truth is, i am struggling not to be sad when i see or hear about another engagement or pregnancy. it is hard, as i only get older each day, to remember that there is a reason for this waiting. i have prayed for God to take this desire away to be a wife and a mom, but He doesn't take it away. goodness, most days i feel that it only increases. within the last couple weeks the amount of pregnancy and engagement announcements, wedding invitation, baby shower invitations has been quite overwhelming. while i am genuinely so excited for my friends, there is a part of me, that is so sad because it isn't happening for me. i feel as though i do a pretty good job of focusing on celebrating my friends, and never voicing my sadness. today though, God reminded through my precious friend Lica that he hasn't forgotten. to say that i lost it and couldn't stop crying would be an understatement... literally, she text me at 9:17 AM this morning with the following text::
I cannot stop thinking about you. And have been praying for your heart all this week non-stop. Just wanted you to know that in case it means anything. The words "you are the God who seems me" pop in my head for you. He sees YOU and knows YOUR heart and its desires. Trust in his plan. He is FAITHFUL and loves you. Believe me my heart aches for you. And it brings ME to tears. Because the waiting is soooo hard and it may look like he has forgotten. But I know in my heart he WILL fulfill this promise. And I'll keep praying until he does:)
there are not enough words of thankfulness i could say to her for her words of encouragement today. I tend to cover up my hurt or sadness, but her reminder to me today was so needed. goodness i haven't cried like that in a while, but sometimes you just have to let it out.
the truth is, God hasn't forgotten, but sometimes i think He has.
the following lyrics are encouraging tonight::
And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
Monday, August 19, 2013
asking for accountability/help:: weight loss goal
so, i have posted on my blog before my struggles with eating healthy, typically the working out part isn't my challenge, but eating healthy is. i am 30 years old and i turn 31 in december, so i have a goal to lose 20 pounds by my 31st birthday. i know i can do this and isn't so much about the number as it is, just feeling better about myself, being tone, and making healthier choices. so, to the few people who read my blog, i am asking for any advice, suggestions, ideas, tricks that have helped you...
1. eating healthy is my biggest struggle... i love carbs, don't really like to cook, but i am trying to budget so i can buy a new car, so i will cook to budget better. i like a lot of healthy foods, but i really like some unhealthy ones (chips and guacamole, french fries, cheese, bagels with cream cheese, really just all carbs, garden salsa sun chips, chocolate chip cookies to name a few). i really like all fruits, zucchini, squash, corn, potatoes, asparagus, and cucumbers (occasionally). i absolutely hate green beans, greens, mushrooms, and peppers. all others that are listed, i can probably stomach or eat, but they aren't my favorite.
2. working out... i am not a runner, and my feet constantly give me trouble, i have been told i have morton's neuroma, but i am going to get a second opinion next week, so maybe he will give me some solution. i love classes at the gym, but need to know if the schedule or classes i am doing are a good mix.
3. clean eating, i have been thinking about doing clean eating, but wondering if i am capable of doing it. is that too drastic and will i crash and burn? i have tried weight watchers before and had great success, but i typically lose interest about week six or seven. do food journals help anyone?
4. the most definite thing i will do is cut out soft drinks all together, no more coke for this girl. also, very limited starbucks white chocolate mochas. when it starts getting cool again, i can get my french vanilla americano which is only 40 calories, woot. empty calories from drinks is stupid.
overall, i know i need to love the body God has given me, but sometimes that is just hard. i so desperately want to love this body, but i want it to be more toned, more slim, and i want my clothes to fit better.
1. eating healthy is my biggest struggle... i love carbs, don't really like to cook, but i am trying to budget so i can buy a new car, so i will cook to budget better. i like a lot of healthy foods, but i really like some unhealthy ones (chips and guacamole, french fries, cheese, bagels with cream cheese, really just all carbs, garden salsa sun chips, chocolate chip cookies to name a few). i really like all fruits, zucchini, squash, corn, potatoes, asparagus, and cucumbers (occasionally). i absolutely hate green beans, greens, mushrooms, and peppers. all others that are listed, i can probably stomach or eat, but they aren't my favorite.
2. working out... i am not a runner, and my feet constantly give me trouble, i have been told i have morton's neuroma, but i am going to get a second opinion next week, so maybe he will give me some solution. i love classes at the gym, but need to know if the schedule or classes i am doing are a good mix.
3. clean eating, i have been thinking about doing clean eating, but wondering if i am capable of doing it. is that too drastic and will i crash and burn? i have tried weight watchers before and had great success, but i typically lose interest about week six or seven. do food journals help anyone?
4. the most definite thing i will do is cut out soft drinks all together, no more coke for this girl. also, very limited starbucks white chocolate mochas. when it starts getting cool again, i can get my french vanilla americano which is only 40 calories, woot. empty calories from drinks is stupid.
overall, i know i need to love the body God has given me, but sometimes that is just hard. i so desperately want to love this body, but i want it to be more toned, more slim, and i want my clothes to fit better.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
funny how life changes
so, this will be a test as to how many people actually read this blog, which doesn't really bother me, but this news is going to shock a lot of people. quite frankly, i still cannot believe i am strongly considering it. i've been talking to my neighbors Cortnie and Caroline a lot recently about added a little something to my life, something that i have always been COMPLETELY against. something i was completely, deathly afraid of until i was 19. anyone have any guesses, well let me help you out...
that is right, i am thinking of getting one of these cute little guys above. i am not considering this decision overnight, it is a HUGE decision. i am soliciting advice from my friends with dogs, like whoa. most of them have been super supportive. they have so much advice, so much love for their animals, and i know they would not lead me in the wrong direction. i live by myself, have for 5 years, and i think it would be great to have a companion. i am a responsible person and do not make decisions like this lightly.
i want a hypoallergenic dog and one that does not shed, this is huge for my OCD/cleanliness! these two breeds or cross breeds make the cut. i've read a lot about these and most people have good things to say. as with all dogs, you have no idea how they will turn out, but a lot of it is in how you train them. this i will need help with, but i think i can do it. originally i was thinking a yorkiepoo , maltipoo, or even a shih tzu, but i talked to friends and read about these and decided maybe not the smaller breeds.
continuing to mull this decision over, but thought i'd post on here and see if anyone has any suggestions/advice!
how's that one for a shocking surprise on this tuesday afternoon:)
 |
| a cavachon |
 |
| a cockapoo |
i want a hypoallergenic dog and one that does not shed, this is huge for my OCD/cleanliness! these two breeds or cross breeds make the cut. i've read a lot about these and most people have good things to say. as with all dogs, you have no idea how they will turn out, but a lot of it is in how you train them. this i will need help with, but i think i can do it. originally i was thinking a yorkiepoo , maltipoo, or even a shih tzu, but i talked to friends and read about these and decided maybe not the smaller breeds.
continuing to mull this decision over, but thought i'd post on here and see if anyone has any suggestions/advice!
how's that one for a shocking surprise on this tuesday afternoon:)
Monday, July 8, 2013
Just Like Us
As many of you know I just returned from my fourth trip to Haiti. I have completely fallen in love with the country, the people, and most of all the precious children/orphans. I often remember how scared, not even two years ago, I was preparing for my mission trip, and how God has taken that fear and turned it into a love Haiti relationship as Mission of Hope would say! While many argue that short term missions do not serve the people of a third world country well, and that many times it is more of a reverse mission, I have to say that the work God is doing through Mission of Hope is working and Haiti is changing:) All four of my trips, I feel as though I have taken home with me a different message; this trip was no different.
The way our trip was designed, we were to have two work days, two village days, and one beach/debrief day. This is exactly how my trip in November was set up, so I was prepared for this trip and was ready to pray for people in the villages and was ready to paint some houses or do whatever type of work needed to be completed.
Monday morning, our first work day, we were told we would be doing some gardening. Not going to lie, while I tried not to verbally express my dislike for this task at hand, I was less than thrilled. I have no green thumb, and have never gardened a day in my life, not to mention, the soil/dirt in Haiti is rock solid, as they rarely get rain. We were assigned to the AWESOME village of Leveque and they wanted to plant Mango and Avocado trees, so I knew it was for a good cause! All of the 7 girls in our team of 10 tried to use the pick axe, and all had good fun with it, but even the village champions said, "You are girls, you are not strong enough." So, most of us girls decided to hold sleeping babies/children, this girl was completely fine with Plan B. That afternoon when we arrived back at the village, they decided that the roads needed some work, so they wanted us to go and basically move dirt around to fill in huge holes in the ground, we had another church team from Michigan join us, so again we had too many cooks in the kitchen, so to speak. That was okay by me, most of us were still holding kids. The MOH staff then told us they had some painting that needed to be completed in the deaf village, to which I eagerly volunteered. Can you tell I was ready to get away from the gardening tools and road work. We pained two houses or did touch up work, painted windows and trim, and put the second coat on the outside of the house. Overall it was a great workday.
Tuesday was our first village day. On my first mission trip with MOH in November 2012, I struggled with village time, as it is hard to walk up to people's homes/tents with a translator, knowing they are more than likely starving, not knowing where their next meal is coming from, and fully trust that God is going to provide. That was my huge lesson and take away from my third trip. Not allowing myself or our team in November to receive the credit or to be the fixers and to pray, trusting faithfully, and fully in that moment that God will provide for their every need. If he cares for the birds, he cares for the people in the villages of Haiti even more! I wanted to provide food or to give them things I had in my bag, but we were not allowed. MOH believes that the glory should always go to God, which I understand fully support, but as Americans and coming from a first world country we think we can fix it all. I was actually looking forward to village time this year, as I wanted to genuinely listen to their stories and pray for them.
The very first house we approached, we met a lady, Olivia. This was my only God moment of the week. We began talking to her via our translators. We find out she was a Christian (not always the case, as many Haitians practice voodoo). We find out a little more about her and then we ask if we can pray for anything specifically and she says, she would like for us to pray for her to find a husband. That's right, you read that correctly. Our team had decided we would each take turns praying for the people we met that day, and normally I am not the one in the group that would eagerly volunteer to be first to pray out loud, but God had different plans. As soon as I heard Olivia's request, I turned to the other team members standing there and said, "do you all mind if I pray for her?" Of course, my team members had no problem. This prayer is all to familiar for me, personally, and I was so blessed to be praying this prayer for my sister in Christ in Haiti. After I finished praying, I was completely overcome with emotion. I had to walk away and gather myself, as I couldn't stop crying. Here's the thing, I think so many times, we think that our lives are so completely different from others who live in third world countries, but they are not that different in terms of what our heart's desires are or what we pray for. This was my sister in Christ, and at the end of the day, while the "material things" she has or doesn't have are different, her greatest heart's desire was the exact same as mine. It was such a powerful reminder to me that morning in the village. I paid attention to other requests throughout the week. We had requests for work to continue or for jobs so the family would have food, for health (many requests for good health or for an illness to go away), and for food. Many of us in our daily lives pray for similar things, while we may not pray for a job in the market, we may be praying for a job in Corporate America or to not be unemployed any longer. Cancer is everywhere and sadly so many people deal with it, so many of us are asking everyday for healing. We have better access to healthcare so maybe our requests are more specific as theirs are for general healing as they may not be able to go to the doctor to find out what is wrong. Regardless, the message I took from this village day was that our brothers and sisters in Christ are the same no matter where you live, no matter what ethnicity, what conditions and we all have similar desires/needs, but they may look a little different. I was so thankful that God put me in that place at that time.
God answered so many prayers while we were in Haiti. I think a lot of times when you are on a mission trip or in a third world country, you have less distractions. At home, we are so busy that I think we miss the answered prayers. While in the village, one day, we prayed with a lady, Rosemita, and as she was accepting Christ, a huge wind/breeze came through. It was like the Holy Spirit provided this powerful wind/breeze just at that time, as it was incredibly hot this afternoon. Another great example, our last day in the villages, after digging many holes for mango and avocado trees, we prayed for rain. We knew that it would be so crucial that these planted trees get much needed water in order to grow. Our team prayed a beautiful prayer, but Guy specifically prayed for the much needed rain and that night it rained like I have never seen in Haiti. So much so that while on main campus, we had a dance party in the rain, it was so much fun. Like when do we do this at home... NEVER. We did the Cupid Shuffle in the rain, I felt like I was a kid again. Susan, Lynn, Hannah, Gabrielle, Haley, Michele and I were all having so fun. At some point during the rain storm, our whole team acknowledged how awesome it was that God was answering our prayers for rain.
The whole week we spent time in Leveque. It was so nice to spend everyday in the same village. There were so many babies and young children in this village. As everyone knows, I love children and especially babies! All week, every time we would come up to a house with a baby, I was so excited to hold the baby. The babies are so precious, so loveable (what baby isn't though), and I think my heart could literally just explode as I am holding these precious little ones. On Wednesday night, we were sharing our only God moments with our team, and I shared my Olivia story. I shared that it is no secret that my greatest heart's desire is to be a wife and a mom. Hannah, Lynn's almost 12 year old daughter, on our team, perks up after we had all shared our experiences so far from the week, and she says, "Miss Kelsey, I think you are going to be a great mom one day." I am pretty sure all the women were a little teary eyed, if not full on crying like Lynn and I were. It was seriously one of the sweetest moments. Hannah, if you are reading this, know that it meant so much to me and I love you so much. All week I felt as though God was sending messages through people I either knew or had met, reminding me to be patient and wait on His timing. Our intern for the week, Paige, says to me on our last night, "I bet your husband laughs constantly." I informed her that I wasn't married. She couldn't believe it. She said, "I really thought you were married with kids. Well, your husband is going to be so lucky and he is going to laugh a lot. Not to mention what a great mom you will be, you are great with the kids." This was a girl that I had only known for approximately six days. I fought back the tears that time. When I was finally able to post pictures, I posted a few of some of the sweet babies, one in particular that I could have stayed with her family and loved on her the rest of our trip after we met her sweet family. Many of my friends back home were commenting and saying very sweet things about how I was going to be a great mom some day. I am not writing this part to praise myself (not my style), but just really to give praise to God and thank him for sending messengers/friends in my life that have reminded me to be faithful and trust in his timing.
Lastly, my team was such a blessing this trip. All of my teams for all of my trips have been a blessing, one isn't necessarily better than the other, but I am so thankful for this team. I got to know more people from my church, formed close relationships with many of them, and was so thankful for how God carefully orchestrated who would be on this trip. All the laughs, encouragement, tears, and memories were a great experience and I am thankful to have served with them!
The way our trip was designed, we were to have two work days, two village days, and one beach/debrief day. This is exactly how my trip in November was set up, so I was prepared for this trip and was ready to pray for people in the villages and was ready to paint some houses or do whatever type of work needed to be completed.
Monday morning, our first work day, we were told we would be doing some gardening. Not going to lie, while I tried not to verbally express my dislike for this task at hand, I was less than thrilled. I have no green thumb, and have never gardened a day in my life, not to mention, the soil/dirt in Haiti is rock solid, as they rarely get rain. We were assigned to the AWESOME village of Leveque and they wanted to plant Mango and Avocado trees, so I knew it was for a good cause! All of the 7 girls in our team of 10 tried to use the pick axe, and all had good fun with it, but even the village champions said, "You are girls, you are not strong enough." So, most of us girls decided to hold sleeping babies/children, this girl was completely fine with Plan B. That afternoon when we arrived back at the village, they decided that the roads needed some work, so they wanted us to go and basically move dirt around to fill in huge holes in the ground, we had another church team from Michigan join us, so again we had too many cooks in the kitchen, so to speak. That was okay by me, most of us were still holding kids. The MOH staff then told us they had some painting that needed to be completed in the deaf village, to which I eagerly volunteered. Can you tell I was ready to get away from the gardening tools and road work. We pained two houses or did touch up work, painted windows and trim, and put the second coat on the outside of the house. Overall it was a great workday.
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| Susan, Dave, and Haley digging to plant Mango and Avocado trees in Leveque! |
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| working on the windows |
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| My dad said I was holding the brush wrong, ha.. did he look at those windows? |
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| Lynn and Hannah working hard |
The very first house we approached, we met a lady, Olivia. This was my only God moment of the week. We began talking to her via our translators. We find out she was a Christian (not always the case, as many Haitians practice voodoo). We find out a little more about her and then we ask if we can pray for anything specifically and she says, she would like for us to pray for her to find a husband. That's right, you read that correctly. Our team had decided we would each take turns praying for the people we met that day, and normally I am not the one in the group that would eagerly volunteer to be first to pray out loud, but God had different plans. As soon as I heard Olivia's request, I turned to the other team members standing there and said, "do you all mind if I pray for her?" Of course, my team members had no problem. This prayer is all to familiar for me, personally, and I was so blessed to be praying this prayer for my sister in Christ in Haiti. After I finished praying, I was completely overcome with emotion. I had to walk away and gather myself, as I couldn't stop crying. Here's the thing, I think so many times, we think that our lives are so completely different from others who live in third world countries, but they are not that different in terms of what our heart's desires are or what we pray for. This was my sister in Christ, and at the end of the day, while the "material things" she has or doesn't have are different, her greatest heart's desire was the exact same as mine. It was such a powerful reminder to me that morning in the village. I paid attention to other requests throughout the week. We had requests for work to continue or for jobs so the family would have food, for health (many requests for good health or for an illness to go away), and for food. Many of us in our daily lives pray for similar things, while we may not pray for a job in the market, we may be praying for a job in Corporate America or to not be unemployed any longer. Cancer is everywhere and sadly so many people deal with it, so many of us are asking everyday for healing. We have better access to healthcare so maybe our requests are more specific as theirs are for general healing as they may not be able to go to the doctor to find out what is wrong. Regardless, the message I took from this village day was that our brothers and sisters in Christ are the same no matter where you live, no matter what ethnicity, what conditions and we all have similar desires/needs, but they may look a little different. I was so thankful that God put me in that place at that time.
God answered so many prayers while we were in Haiti. I think a lot of times when you are on a mission trip or in a third world country, you have less distractions. At home, we are so busy that I think we miss the answered prayers. While in the village, one day, we prayed with a lady, Rosemita, and as she was accepting Christ, a huge wind/breeze came through. It was like the Holy Spirit provided this powerful wind/breeze just at that time, as it was incredibly hot this afternoon. Another great example, our last day in the villages, after digging many holes for mango and avocado trees, we prayed for rain. We knew that it would be so crucial that these planted trees get much needed water in order to grow. Our team prayed a beautiful prayer, but Guy specifically prayed for the much needed rain and that night it rained like I have never seen in Haiti. So much so that while on main campus, we had a dance party in the rain, it was so much fun. Like when do we do this at home... NEVER. We did the Cupid Shuffle in the rain, I felt like I was a kid again. Susan, Lynn, Hannah, Gabrielle, Haley, Michele and I were all having so fun. At some point during the rain storm, our whole team acknowledged how awesome it was that God was answering our prayers for rain.
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| Before our team joined in on the dance party, but it was so fun! Answered prayer for RAIN:) |
The whole week we spent time in Leveque. It was so nice to spend everyday in the same village. There were so many babies and young children in this village. As everyone knows, I love children and especially babies! All week, every time we would come up to a house with a baby, I was so excited to hold the baby. The babies are so precious, so loveable (what baby isn't though), and I think my heart could literally just explode as I am holding these precious little ones. On Wednesday night, we were sharing our only God moments with our team, and I shared my Olivia story. I shared that it is no secret that my greatest heart's desire is to be a wife and a mom. Hannah, Lynn's almost 12 year old daughter, on our team, perks up after we had all shared our experiences so far from the week, and she says, "Miss Kelsey, I think you are going to be a great mom one day." I am pretty sure all the women were a little teary eyed, if not full on crying like Lynn and I were. It was seriously one of the sweetest moments. Hannah, if you are reading this, know that it meant so much to me and I love you so much. All week I felt as though God was sending messages through people I either knew or had met, reminding me to be patient and wait on His timing. Our intern for the week, Paige, says to me on our last night, "I bet your husband laughs constantly." I informed her that I wasn't married. She couldn't believe it. She said, "I really thought you were married with kids. Well, your husband is going to be so lucky and he is going to laugh a lot. Not to mention what a great mom you will be, you are great with the kids." This was a girl that I had only known for approximately six days. I fought back the tears that time. When I was finally able to post pictures, I posted a few of some of the sweet babies, one in particular that I could have stayed with her family and loved on her the rest of our trip after we met her sweet family. Many of my friends back home were commenting and saying very sweet things about how I was going to be a great mom some day. I am not writing this part to praise myself (not my style), but just really to give praise to God and thank him for sending messengers/friends in my life that have reminded me to be faithful and trust in his timing.
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| Pretty sure she is the cutest little thing, loved her:) |
Lastly, my team was such a blessing this trip. All of my teams for all of my trips have been a blessing, one isn't necessarily better than the other, but I am so thankful for this team. I got to know more people from my church, formed close relationships with many of them, and was so thankful for how God carefully orchestrated who would be on this trip. All the laughs, encouragement, tears, and memories were a great experience and I am thankful to have served with them!
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| Gabby and Hannah with Segline, such a cutie:) |
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| One of sweetest things, Simon cutting bracelets for all the kids in Leveque! |
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| In front of the church in Leveque |
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| Love this shot of our team, LOVE YALL! |
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