shooting range fun

everyone should go, they even have ladies night on the last thursday of every month

i almost hit the bullseye, lindsey and i did good

who would have ever thought:)

love this

sweet lindsey jo shooting a gun

so yesterday was one of those days that goes down in the record books.  lindsey and i bought a living social a while back, when i still lived in my townhouse, for a couple hours at a shooting range.  i wanted to do this so much, but a huge part of me was scared to death.  lindsey seemed totally fine, so yesterday i was given half a day to volunteer and half a day to take vacation.  lindsey and i met at chic-fil-a and then headed to the range at lake norman.  first, i will say it is a breeding ground for guys, should be an obvious, but maybe i need to head there more often, ha.  after signing a liability and watching a way too short instructional/safety video, they said here is your 22, your headphones, your eyewear, and pick your target... you are good to go.  okay, they let us feel the gun to make sure it "felt okay."  lindsey and i were like, we have no flipping idea, ha.  nick, we were fast friends, was a huge help to us.  actually all of them were, another one, david was nice too.  they had to tell us a lot of times how to shoot, how to load, and many other things, but after a while we got the hang of it.  initially when we walked in, lindsey was a little startled... i really thought we were going to have to leave, but she pulled it together, and we both really enjoyed it.  we had lots of laughs, lots of jams in our gun, and all in all we learned that shooting is not an easy thing.  we also took from this adventure, that if we actually needed it, we are not fast loaders, the person would kill us first.

there was a cute guy, he had a beard, that lindsey kept wanting me to talk to, but unfortunately with the headphones you could barely hear anything but loud booms.  i really wasn't in any position to talk to anyone.  plus, i am currently in my glasses, which are really not that attractive, so after feb. 7th i'll be back at it. 

after we finished at the shooting range, we headed to ikea and then had dinner at chipotle. 

as we get older, and life changes, i was reminded yesterday how rare quality time with your BFF is.  instead of focusing on that this year, i am focusing on how much fun we had and how appreciative i am that we got to do this and that she now has fridays off.  we laughed so hard, we talked, we caught up, and it was such a fun day with lindsey jo!  i can't remember the last time just the two of us spent nearly a whole day together.

i think this is a great idea for someone's 30th or for a fun girl's night out.  i won't be making a shooting range my new hobby, but it will definitely be something i do again:)

weight loss, accountability with friends

so, in the summer of 2008 i was at my heaviest.  a lot of things factored into this, but it was mainly a job where i traveled 80% of the time (had poor diet choices due to never being home or on any sort of a schedule), thyroid problems, and no time to exercise due to work (or at least i used that as my excuse).  i was literally at 200 pounds, for my 5'6" frame.. it was not good.  this is one of the pictures that shows just how big i was. 

ironically this is when i moved to charlotte and i will never forget my dad saying to me that i needed to make some changes and lose some weight, not because i was ugly but more because it was unhealthy and he wanted me to be happier.  i cried when he said this, but i worked hard... i cut back, cut out coke, changed so many things in my diet, and i lost 60 pounds... the below picture is one of me at my skinniest...

i mean, those arms!!!  so, here i am nearly four years later, and i have left off about 45 pounds of it, but i have gained back 20 pounds.  i need it gone.  so that brings me to where i am now...

starting on monday, two of my friends here and i are starting weight watchers.  i am so excited to start this with friends, so we can encourage each other.  we are committed, we are doing this.

my goal is to lose 25 pounds.  feel free to ask, check in, hold me accountable....

here is a picture of me now...

with my sister and sister in laws at christmas...

in addition, i will be doing the following at the gym

monday 6:15 am quick fit, 5:30 pm spin
tuesday 6 pm cardio funk
wednesday 6:15 am total strength
thursday 8:15 am yoga or something at night
friday pilates at lunch 12 noon
saturday spin at 8 am
sunday - varies

i will post weekly updates:)

this is me

the past month and half has been a month of reflection and one that i would prefer to not relive.  sometimes, make that a lot of the time, i hold things in, praying and thinking that they will get better, but when they don't, i reach a point where i have to let it out whether that be in the form of calling someone, crying it out, or emailing.  i have learned, about myself, over the years that if i email someone it usually comes out a lot more organized and clear, than if i call someone and cry through my thoughts, so a lot of times it is best that way in my mind.  you can ask my two best friends from home, they have gotten many of these emails, i know they love them, ha!  i talked a lot about change in my last post, but this one is more about accepting and moving forward. 

recently, someone said to me, "kelsey, i think you do express your desire to be a mom more than most."  sometimes i can be so sensitive.  let's face it, i am me... but has the greatest desire of my heart always been to be a wife and a mom, well yes it has.  do i want this to define me, no i do not.  i think that we learn things about ourselves daily, God teaches us lessons through life struggles, through blessings, through loss, through everyday experiences, etc.  i know that i have prayed so many times that God would take away this desire, so that i will not be the crazy single girl who wants to be married and wants to be a mom, but He hasn't taken it away.  i also try very hard to not talk about it, as the truth is, i cannot control it. 

i recently turned 30, and in the months leading up to it, i had quite a few friends ask me some questions which made me a little sad, but i know they were coming from a good place.  one friend told me all about a friend of hers that she goes to church with that adopted a child, while she was single at like 35, from a third world country and then like six months later, she met her husband.  my friend was just saying that she loved how much i had fallen in love with the country of haiti, and wondered if i had considered adopting from haiti.  i sat at the table thinking... "wait, i am only 29 at this time, why are we having this conversation???  please don't write me off quite yet, there is still HOPE." 

another friend brought it up as well, saying that she could see me adopting some haitian babies and asked if i had considered it?  she said, "you will probably come back with one after your third trip to haiti."  i thought, people, i am only 29.  this would be so hard to raise a child by myself without a husband, but that doesn't mean i would pray and consider this down the road. 

i know my friends said this and it came from a loving place, but facing my reality of being single at 30 is not fun.  many days i like to find joy in the situation; i don't like to focus on it.  what is the point?  who wants to live a life bitter, not this girl, so hearing my friends say thing like this, which in my head i took it as... you should probably start preparing or planning your life without a husband and maybe start the process of adopting a baby on your own, because well you aren't married and we know you want a kid... this was tough. 

in this new year, i think i am going to focus on continuing to do things that i am passionate about, continuing to love on babies and kids, continuing to do what God calls me to do, maybe try to voice this desire a little less, after all, it doesn't help it come true, and continue to work on this JOY thing.  if i had to pick a word for 2013, it would definitely be JOY.  i can find the joy in all situations. 

at the end of my life, no matter how it plays out, i want my friends and family to remember me as someone who loved life, someone who loved God, someone who was passionate and cared for others, someone who was JOYFUL, someone who was not controlled/affected by my circumstances, someone who appreciated and was thankful for the life she was blessed with. 

i know i can be a little over the top, i can be a bit dramatic, i can be an uber planner, i can be a bit talkative, i can be extremely thoughtful, i can get my feelings hurt, i love country music ALOT, i love to stay up late, i hate sitting still, i don't like to read, i love starbucks way too much, i am extremely loyal, i don't really care for change, and the list could go on, but the bottom line is this is ME.  i am who I am, and i am happy with who and how God made me:) 

a new year, a continued work in progress

it's funny the holidays are my favorite time of the year; however, at the same time, it is also a difficult time, as it is a reminder when a new year approaches that i am still alone (actually i am not, but you know what i am saying), and this was not in my plan for my life.  don't worry, this is not a super sad or depressing post, but more of a hopeful one.  i was talking to someone the other day, and i told her that i get so frustrated with myself when i get down and discouraged about being single; it feels as if i am back at square one and i haven't made progress in seeing the joy in this season of my life; however, she reminded me that we are all allowed times when we struggle.  it was a great reminder that i have made a lot of progress in 2012 and i have learned so much in 2012.

this past year has had the most change for me; while some change is good, a lot of change, i am really not a fan of.  i would prefer for things to stay the same, but at the same time dealing with change is inevitable.  my best friend in the entire world got a boyfriend, a serious one, that will become her husband very soon (they aren't engaged yet) and with that came a lot of changes.  she is like my sister, no really she is, and we talked multiple times a day.  remember i work from home by myself, so a lot of times, i just need a human to talk to.  i would call her about the most ridiculous things, i can still do this, but it has changed.  we have both prayed for our future husbands for as long as i can remember, so i couldn't be more happy for her.  with all of this came adjustment for me, i often times felt there was no place for me and felt as though i had been replaced, like she had a new best friend.  what i have learned through all of this is that i have very unrealistic expectations of people, and that i need to rely more on my heavely father.  when i say that she is my best friend; she really is incredible and has tried so very hard to make sure i still have time to talk to her and her and her boyfriend pray for me and my future husband a lot.  i am blessed beyond measure to have her as my best friend, and while she wants a simple wedding, it is still going to be a great celebration praising Jesus for sending her the man of her dreams.

i changed jobs this year, which was such a huge accomplishment for me.  i was promoted in may 2012, and with that brought lots of change.  i was used to traveling about 80% of the time, probably only being in my home office once a week if that.   with my new job came new responsibilities, but also the travel decreased.  I was not used to so much alone time and sitting in my home office 24:7.  i am not going to lie, this has been the hardest part of my job.  there are many days, if i don't have a call with a site, i may not speak to ANYONE... i am extroverted and love people.  it is tough, but i have tried recently to remember how blessed i am to have this job, and one day if i get married and have kids, it will be an amazing job to have.  also, i am one of youngest in this role, so it is definitely an accomplishment to be in my position at my age, so i know that i need to be more thankful.  i have found ways to get out, i go to starbucks or panera to work remotely, which are within walking distance of my condo so that i can interact with people and put on something other than workout clothes:)

one of my best friends in charlotte moved, and while i had ample time to prepare, i think it has been a lot harder than i expected.  you can ask anyone who knows me, i have had the same best friends since kindergarten, but i stay in touch with people.  i have learned that we are all different and that is okay.  i am thankful for grace and my heavenly father who listens to me, when i feel like i am going crazy.  i have been praying so much that God will put new friends that are in similar seasons of life in my community and he has been answering that prayer.  my church has been a great source of community as well, and many of my friends are there.  while many of them are married and have children, i am so thankful for them, as we workout together and can meet for lunch during the day when their kiddos are in preschool.  also, i went to haiti in november with my church, and i have friends that i am not much closer too as a result of this trip:)  i couldn't be more thankful for that, as this season of change and loneliness hasn't been fun.  again, this particular situation showed me that i have very high expectations of people and no one will ever meet all of our expectations, as we are all human and are flawed.

my sister told us that she was pregnant... to say that this has been one that i have had to continually pray about would be an understatement.  don't get me wrong, i am so excited for her and her husband, as i know they prayed for this baby and are ready to be parents to this precious little boy, but i have already had to deal with my younger sister getting married before me, and now the baby.  the youngest grandchild in our family is 24, so to say that everyone in our family is excited, yeah i need to find a synonym.  i know that i was called to be a mom, and i am so sad that i am no where near this point in my life.  i have been very selfish and sad, so i have had to try to learn and see the lessons that God has wanted me to learn through this as well.  i am hopeful that once this baby is born (my parents and i call him "kabota" as kendall and kevin aren't telling the name til he is born) that i will be reminded that being an aunt is important, that i can help my sister out, and that again, there is a reason for the way things have played out.  he may not learn to walk until he is 2, as everyone in our family will probably hold him all the time.  i have to let go of this resentment, because i want to love this little boy and be a wonderful aunt to him:)

i have learned so much about myself, and i know that in 2013 there is so much more for me to learn.  i continue to plead and pray asking God when it will be time for me to meet my husband, but the reality is i am going to be just fine if it isn't in His will, but for now I trust that He knows my heart better than even I know it, so I trust that I will get married when He sees fit.  i am excited for a year in which i want to say Yes when God asked me to something, i want to be open to what lies in store for my life in His will and perfect timing.  the past few years, i have made a list of things relating to the age i turn, but not this year.  this year, i think it is more important to draw closer to the Lord, to focus on having a better attitude and not being bitter, to be more loving, and to focus on being the best version of ME.  i know who i am, and i am thankful that God made me this way.  there are still many things i would like to do, if i have an opportunity to do these things, i will post about them.  also, i am putting it on here as a way to hold myself more accountable, but my goal is to lose 20 pounds.  i can do this!!!

welcome 2013, excited for what is in store, and ready to close the books on 2012.  while all the things that happened, happened in God's perfect timing and i learned so much, i am ready to move forward in 2013!

dating blog

i know there are only a few of you that read this, but i still enjoy writing occasionally and appreciate those of you who do:)  i actually started a new blog on the crazy dating situations i get myself into, if you want to check it out, here is the link.

i really cannot make this stuff up, and one day i may want to look back and laugh at it all myself.

update::30 things in my 30th year

so, if i updated it in blue, that means i think i can cross it off, if it is red, not so much....

so for the past few years, i have made a list of things to do with the amount of things to do correlating to the age i turn that year.  the first two years, i did pretty good, but for some reason last year i didn't to well.  this year, i debated not doing a list, but let's face it, i turn 30 this year and i want to have a fun list, a list with small things that i can do to make myself a better version of me, and i am going to really try hard to do these things.  i have been reading lots of devotions from proverbs 31 ministries, from streams of the desert, and from made to crave, and know that i can so do this with the help from the Creator of everything, My Heavenly Father:)  so, some of these may be repeats, others will be knew, but regardless, i don't want to look back and think that life passed me by... you only get one and i want to know that I spent my days on this earth, drawing closer to God, having fun with friends, helping/serving others, not working all the time, and being the best version of myself!  here's to my 30th year of life being the best yet!

1. reading the Bible - i'm going to be real honest here, reading is so not fun to me, no matter what it is, so instead of trying to be like everyone else, i am going to do what is best for me.  i am going to focus on small amounts and really pray and focus on those.  i've really got to work on not comparing/worrying what other people think.  if anyone has reading plans for the Bible that are SMALL, short passages at a time, i am so for that, send them my way. good news, i am reading the the kids storybook bible, and it is fantastic, adults will like it too... works for me and on my level, but still working on reading my Bible more

2. make my bed each day - why is this on my list every year, but so far in 2012, every day that i have been home, i have made my day, so we are on the right track, haha - i'll give myself a failing grade on this one, but i work from home, live by myself and no one is ever here, it doesn't matter, but the rest of my house is spotless, haha

3. learn to sew - i met a girl at church who knows how, so hopefully one saturday, i can pay her to teach me, i hope she has a lot of patience, things do not come easy to this girl. maybe one day, can't seem to find the right person to teach me.  my friend christine tried, but we never finished up.  in fact, my sewing machine is still there.

4. go hiking and spend some time outdoors - for this somewhat girly girl, most of you are probably laughing, God created a beautiful world and nature is pretty, so i think it would do me some good to get out and enjoy it!!!  my friend kase and i made a list of fun things to do in the next six months on new years day, and this made the list, so i think this will happen:) didn't really happen, but i am hopeful that i'll meet the man of my dreams soon and we can do this together, hahahaha.

5. food - i want to continue with my trying new foods and restaurants.  i have lived in charlotte for over three years now and there are several restaurants that i have not tried, so i want to try at least five new ones this year and five new foods.  i am going to cabo fish taco in two weeks, which i have wanted to go for a while, so we are already on our to a good start!!! - can't really think of a lot of specific foods i tried, but i did try some new restaurants::  cabo fish taco, crepe cellar, fern, cowfish, and i am sure there are others:)

6. serve in the local community more, plain and simple, just do it! - our church partners with greenway park, still volunteer with make a wish, and will continue to do as much as i can.

7. read more, let's face it, i said it before and everyone who knows me, knows this... i hate reading, but i have set a small goal to read 10 minutes a day, everyday.  so, the first book i am reading is 1000 gifts:) - i am going to stop putting this on any list, i don't like to do it, haha.

8. break the starbucks addiction, haha - who would have ever thought that i would be so addicted to coffee.  i got a keurig for christmas, so i am hoping this will help.  i am drinking more coffee at home.  new goal, $25/month at starbucks, I CAN DO THIS:) - according to the fact that i got 9 starbucks giftcards for my birthday, i'd say this would be a negative and i am okay with it.  i have found new drinks that cost less and have less calories... Sbux 1, Kelsey 0

9. i want to go ziplining.  seriously, love all things related to heights, not scared at all, so this has to happen this year! - still want to do this, so much

10. personal fitness goal::  lose 15 pounds. - this is a must for overall health and well-being:)

11. continue to get better at crocheting, i enjoy it but don't stop and sit still long enough to do it often enough... so improve, do more, and learn more patterns - needs improvement

12. be more focused in general, i get easily distracted.  i think one way to be more focused would be to turn the TV off and read, journal, pray, etc. i think in this fast paced world that we live, we all need to do this more

13. try to write daily in my peaks/pits/praise/prayers journal.  saw this on pinterest, and i love it!!! - i did good for six months, haha

14. cook more often.  i would save so much more if i broke down and cooked more and ate leftovers, so i will do this!!! - doesn't happen, i really just do not enjoy cooking

15. try a hot yoga class. - still need to do this, maybe i can squeeze it in before dec. 31

16. live expectantly.  i read a verse in my devotion the other night and it is so true.  "whatever you ask for in prayer, believe." mark 11:24 - need to remember this verse it is a GOOD one

17. i want to be a counselor at camp care this summer, now if i could get in touch with the right people.  hopefully this will happen.  i would still love to do this

18. be intentional about catching up with my friends who live in different cities (whitney - baltimore), (kelly - atlanta), (bay, holly, and michele - raleigh), (heather, kaleena, ashley, and candice - raleigh) (casey - raleigh) - life is busy, but that is no excuse as to why we shouldn't stay in touch.  i have seen my raleigh friends or more specifically my college friends more in the last three to four months than maybe i have combined since i moved to charlotte, for which i am thankful...candice is about to move, so i need to schedule some more time with her.  also, casey moved, so i don't get to see her nearly enough, but before she moved i got some quality time in there.  i need to see heather more as well:)  i wish i could schedule a trip up to baltimore to see whit, but her and hubby are busy remodeling like crazy:)

19. i've been in the same role at my company for almost five years, and i've been frustrated that i haven't gotten a promotion due to restructuring and the economy, but i want to have a better attitude and really work hard in my current role and see my studies through the end.  if and when God decides it is time for me to be promoted, i will be ready.  explore different positions that i may want to do in my company, as well. this one i can say i did and did so with hard work, i got a new position in site management, i am now a strategic site relationship manager at my company:) 

20. try something new, anything. -

21. i want to go to a shooting range and maybe get a gun for protection... goodness, my roots are showing and i love it:)  i will take a concealed weapons class and be educated, don't worry!  (pretty sure i am going to be able to talk lindsey jo into doing this one with me as well.) lindsey and i purchased a living social and we are going jan. 5th, so excited.  i am still looking into getting my concealed weapons permit and all that.

22. i want to go to the CMA awards in nashville for my 30th birthday.  i have already informed lindsey and crystal and they say they are on board, so we will see.  it is the one thing i want to do for my birthday:)  how awesome and fantastic would that be!!! - while i could not be more thankful for how awesome my birthday celebrations were, this one is probably the one that i am most sad that didn't happen.  if i had expendable incomes and lots of connections, maybe i could have made it happen, but it didn't happen.  i am hopeful that one day i can cross this off of my bucket list.

23. spend less and save more!  i got out of debt in 2010/early 2011, except for my student loans and my mortgage, so my big thing for this year to live by a budget and to SAVE money! - this is probably my biggest goal for 2013 as i want to buy a new car without financing

24. adopt/sponsor a child from a third world country, more than likely haiti and possibly from mission of hope, my church had the information one sunday and i didn't do it, but i have been praying about it and i need to do it:) - i sponsor jasmine, the little girl that has stolen my heart at cambry in les cayes, haiti.... i am praying about sponsoring one from MOH, the organization i just returned from in november this year

25. purge, i have a lot of stuff that i don't need, that others would be so blessed by.  i need to donate to people who need it:) - i have been purging a lot of my clothes to consignment, goodwill, or to people who need them and i had a yard sale for one of my haiti trips and that was a great way to purge

26. either go sky diving or on a hot air balloon ride:)  yes, i really want to do one of the two. - my mom and i did this for her birthday and my 30th, but we did it back in may, it was AWESOME to do something like this with my mother:)

27. learn to do a complete push up (weakest arms in life) - i am a lot stronger and proud of myself on this one, i can almost do a complete one not on my knees, huge ACCOMPLISHMENT for this weakling

28. crafting/DIY projects - one or two nights a month, take time to enjoy crafting and doing things i find on pinterest.   after all, it is cheaper and super cute! - haha, what was i thinking, i don't like to sit still, i like to be on the go

29. look into going back to Haiti or on another mission trip... really praying about this one and trying to figure out where God may want me to go. - well, pray about one and you may go on two, hehe... i went in July with Blessback and then in November with NCC:)

30. spend a weekend in the mountains, possibly go skiing, oh goodness this could be hilarious.  this is so happening, as we are going for Jillian's 30th, and i am so excited about a little mountain fun:) - i have been to the mountains three times this year and they have all been awesome trips with great friends, super thankful for these trips and great memories.

haiti 3.0

i leave for my third trip to haiti in 14 months time in less than 36 hours... i need to be asleep at this moment, but of course, my mind won't stop running through things i may forget or maybe i am starting to get a little nervous.  it is funny with each trip i am a little less nervous, but with this one adds a new element, as i am not going back to cambry- the orphanage where i have spent my time the previous two trips.  i am going with my church this time, new charlotte, and i am excited, but my heart is heavy that i will not be able to see jasmine.  that sweet little girl, with a little sassy on the side (which i absolutely love) will not be there to greet me.  so, let me start by asking you to pray that i am reminded that our loving Heavenly Father is watching over her and that i can go to cambry another time.  for this time, God has called me to a new orphanage and a new place in Haiti to meet new people and for that i am very excited. 

when i was trying to decide, going back and forth, trying to think of the logistical reasons why i shouldn't go twice in one year, God kept nudging me and saying that he would work it out.  i had many friends who were also sources of encouragement, but i am always so thankful when God sends us tangible reminders of His plan.  when i went to check my vacation time at work, even after entering my desired days off for christmas and thanksgiving, i still had exactly one week left of vacation that i could not carry over that i would have lost (coincidence, yeah right... He was saying... i'm moving the obstacles).  when i worried about the money, he helped me come up with a great idea to raise money without having to ask for just donations.  i love kids, as we all know, so i babysat and instead of paying me, they gave money towards my trip... i even had a family i used to babysit for all the time in raleigh donate (they are so special to me) and they wanted to help.  teresa, my friend's mom, with whom i lived for a few months also wanted to help and gave me money (she repeatedly told me, there are senders and there are doers or people who go)... and last i donated some clothes to a family member and she donated to my trip.  i added it all up and would you believe i had exactly the right amount, i shouldn't be shocked, because God is always going to provide the way, when it is in His will!!!  tonight, one of my close friends even gave me additional money as she knows herself how expensive preparation for mission trips are, so that paid for my food/snacks for the trip, cannot thank her enough.

with all of this, i am so excited, there is a lot of love to give and share in this heart of mine.  i am so thankful that God has provided this opportunity, and i cannot wait to share this experience with you all when i get back, for now my hope is that i will be able to share Christ's love to a country who needs it.  will you please join me in prayer for the following::

1. pray for safe travel
2. pray for no sickness
3. pray that we are able to help in whatever capacity or need mission of hope has for us... whether it be construction, painting, cleaning, playing with the kids, etc...
4. pray that we will be able to visit the villages and the people and serve them by showing them Christ's love

i also have an additional prayer request::  my grandfather was diagnosed with cancer again this week, this time it is skin cancer, but the type that spreads.  he will have surgery to remove the cancerous nodule on monday, while i am away.  please lift him up in prayer, that he will be comforted, rest while in the hospital next week, and that the cancer is localized and that it has not spread.

thanks for all of the support, prayers, and if you would like to follow our team blog while we are in haiti, please click on the following link

http://www.newcharlottechurchtohaiti.blogspot.com/