i'm about to get real personal, but not very many people read this, so I feel like i can use this as a way to write a few of my thoughts and it be okay. to the few that do, maybe a verse or two will help you too (oh and thanks for reading)!
no matter what happens in life, good or bad, i love how God always uses the events and things in our lives to teach us something. it is funny, a lot of times, i think i have mastered just how to suppress my feelings, how to put on a good show for everyone to make them think i have it all together. while i may share things about my life, i rarely let people know how much things really affect me. i was telling my best friend, lindsey jo and my mom just over the weekend and the past few days, that the Holy Spirit has really been revealing to me that i have a major issue with pride with ultimately means i have issues with self-centeredness. i remember about six months ago, we were discussing this very thing in our small group one night, and the study basically said that having too much pride or feeling sorry for yourself means you are being too self-centered. i have always thought that i put others first and am a pretty thoughtful person, so self-centeredness was something i thought i was free and clear of. well, here i am six months later, and it has been become so clear to me that this is definitely a bigger issue that i have got to face. the truth is that i don't have it all together. the truth is i am sinner, i hurt just like everyone else, i hope like everyone else, i feel pain and get rejected just like everyone else, i make mistakes just like everyone else, and the list could go on and on.
growing up and especially on into high school, i wanted nothing more than to go to college and to become successful. so much so, that my high school class voted me, "most likely to succeed" as my senior class superlative. i have always felt like i had something to prove, but the truth is, i have nothing to prove. so many times i said, "i want to move away from lincolnton, and i don't want to move back." i am not really sure who i was trying to impress, but what i will tell you is that at almost 30, i now know that there is so much more to life than making it in corporate america. the truth is, there is more to kelsey morgan, than just a drive to succeed. the truth is there has always been a girl who desperately wanted to be noticed, to feel pretty, and only in recent years have i truly grasp that i can only find this from my Heavenly Father and not from anyone here on this earth. i would say that i put on the biggest show/front for anyone in my hometown. i want everyone to think i have it all together, but again, i humbly say, i don't. while i have faith and trust that one day God's plan will be revealed and He will give me the desires of my heart, the truth is, there are days when i am lonely. i try to put up many defenses, to keep from letting people see the pain, but the truth is pride is ugly. when you know there is something to be learned, i have found that scripture is the best place to go...
so tonight, i looked up several verses on pride/humility and i thought i would share these::
Matthew 18:3-4
And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like
little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore,
whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom
of heaven.
Proverbs 25:9
He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way.
Romans 12:3
For by the grace given me I say to every one of
you: Do not think of
yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with
sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given
you.
Ephesians 4:2
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
No comments:
Post a Comment