so, this post is 100% to brag on how good God is and how incredible the friends are that He has blessed me with. it is no secret that i go through different stages, and the last few months have been a bit difficult as it has been a season of overwhelming amounts of friends getting engaged, married, getting pregnant, and having babies. while i am seriously so happy for them, it is hard to not question God as to why i am having to wait. one thing i do know, He is constantly building my character and teaching me lessons, and each and every day i find contentment in the blessings. the past few weekends i have literally had a shower (maybe more than one) - baby or wedding, a wedding, or something pertaining to this and it has been difficult. i am not writing this to be a sob story, because i have been so encouraged and reminded how much God loves me through my amazing friends.
text messages from friends for example::
this weekend i went to a wedding for a friend in dallas, the bride sent me a text on our way to texas:: "Hey girl! Thanks for traveling all the way to Dallas via Atlanta. Drive safely! I'm praying for your heart this weekend especially - I pray God gives you the desires of your heart & you know he and many others love you.. in the wait, I hope you can find joy and contentment. I know it's hard but so worth fighting for! Love you..."
emails from friends...
my friend, J, said, "I know you are struggling with your friends being in a season of change right now and that being frustrating for you since you are not where you want to be. Just know that I want for you to find your husband more than anything. I truly believe that GOD is going to surprise you in a big way with your future husband."
another friend, my other casey:) "Please hear me when I say I am praying for you too! that the Lord is preparing a Godly man for you in a surprising package. I agree with J that you are going to get swept off your feet by something really unexpected and I am seriously giddy to see it happen. I will be bodly pleading for the timing of that "sweeping" and that it comes soon. I also hope that this weekend, although about kasey, you felt loved and beautiful. I don't really mean an inner beauty either, you looked hot and I hope you felt it (ps our room was 60 degrees, so if you didn't you should probably go see a doctor :)"
my friend, E, "Want you to know that I'm praying for YOU for you to have peace and trust in God during this season of waiting AND for him to overflow your freaking life with people who can relate to you, who can bring you so much joy and who will NEVER make you feel badly for being real and honest about however you are feeling - good, bad, or ugly!"
my name twin sent me the sweetest message, that you can all read, she put it as a comment on here a few weeks back. love her for her sweet words and encouragement.
another friend linda, who has an incredible story of an adoption journey, she is actually meeting her 3 1/2 year old daughter for the first time tomorrow and i cannot wait to meet them all when they get back to charlotte!!! linda sent me a text on sunday, at the wedding, saying, "Thinking of you today. As we head out on this trip to pick up our daughter (in Chicago right now!) thinking of what a faithful friend you are, celebrating Kasey today. And how, like me on this adoption journey, you will be one day (soon) be celebrating YOUR wedding, and the wait and everything else will vanish as you marvel in the perfect timing God has for you."
gotta love my crazy, sassy, texan, candice, "I've been praying for your spouse like crazy over the past week. Please tell me you met yourself a Texas Cowboy this weekend:)" haha, gotta love the laughs this provided, but so thankful for her prayers:)
my best friends from college have also reached out and been amazing friends, holly sent me a very sweet email and while i do not want her to understand and i want her to be married, she is in this season too, so she provided great advice. bay calls often to check in and is a great listener, and michele and i are constantly play phone tag.
i am sure there are others that i am forgetting, not intentionally, but these texts/emails stand out in this season.
okay, really, all of these messages and words of encouragement. each and every message has reminded me how loved and prayed for i am. i am truly blessed by amazing friends, and for that i can never thank God enough for that.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
social media fast experience
so last week my friend jess and i took a week away from social media, what did i learn from this experience... allow me to share:)
i learned....
- while i felt a little out of the loop, for the most part, it was freeing to not compare my life to everyone else's external "happy social media life"
- i have become entirely too dependent on checking all forms of social media in my free time (whether that is a teleconference at work, at a red light, while waiting on a friend for dinner, while watching tv, etc)
- i need to be more intentional/purposeful with my time
- you have a lot more time when you are not spending your free time "keeping up with the Jones"
- a week of not seeing a post about a pregnancy/engagement was nice (sorry, just speaking the truth)
- the first thing and last thing i do before i wake up or go to bed, should not be check my phone, it should be to get on my knees and thank God for another day
- a few people actually missed my random posts and updates on what was going on in my life, but i mostly missed posting pictures (i had some fantastic pics of Jason Aldean from the concert)
every time i wanted to jump on FB or instagram, i had to think about why i was doing it. i thought about what God was trying to teach me, and i must say i am glad i did it. i know i need to be on them less. i know i need to stop comparing myself to others. i know that it steals my joy and takes up entirely too much of my time. one of my good friends, bayley (bay) called and offered to let me call her every time i wanted to check it, ha, her phone would have blown up a lot in the beginning of the week, but it was nice to have friends supporting me in my break!
i am always up for a challenge, especially one that will teach me a valuable lesson!
i learned....
- while i felt a little out of the loop, for the most part, it was freeing to not compare my life to everyone else's external "happy social media life"
- i have become entirely too dependent on checking all forms of social media in my free time (whether that is a teleconference at work, at a red light, while waiting on a friend for dinner, while watching tv, etc)
- i need to be more intentional/purposeful with my time
- you have a lot more time when you are not spending your free time "keeping up with the Jones"
- a week of not seeing a post about a pregnancy/engagement was nice (sorry, just speaking the truth)
- the first thing and last thing i do before i wake up or go to bed, should not be check my phone, it should be to get on my knees and thank God for another day
- a few people actually missed my random posts and updates on what was going on in my life, but i mostly missed posting pictures (i had some fantastic pics of Jason Aldean from the concert)
every time i wanted to jump on FB or instagram, i had to think about why i was doing it. i thought about what God was trying to teach me, and i must say i am glad i did it. i know i need to be on them less. i know i need to stop comparing myself to others. i know that it steals my joy and takes up entirely too much of my time. one of my good friends, bayley (bay) called and offered to let me call her every time i wanted to check it, ha, her phone would have blown up a lot in the beginning of the week, but it was nice to have friends supporting me in my break!
i am always up for a challenge, especially one that will teach me a valuable lesson!
Friday, September 6, 2013
this is life, but i have HOPE
sometimes i use my blog as an outlet, sometimes i am funny, sometimes i am not, tonight is not going to be one for comic relief, but this is my life, the good, the bad, and sometimes writing on my blog is a healthy for me. to the few of you who read it, i apologize in advance, but i give you permission to skip this post.
the truth is, my life is somewhat of a whirlwind right now, or heck i could even say a storm, but at the same time, i have so many blessings and i am trying so very hard to focus on those and remember God's truths in the midst of all of this.
at 25 i bought a townhouse, i'd like to say it was the dumbest decision i ever made, but a friend from church gave me some great perspective. she said, be thankful that God gave you the brains, maturity, and stability, while most 25 year olds can barely pay regular bills, this is true. i could beat myself up everyday for it, but the truth is it is a part of my story, i have learned a lot from this experience, and now i know not to make a huge decision like this again without over-analyzing this like i do everything else in my life. regardless, it is the biggest source of stress in my life, and the property is underwater by about 50 to 60 thousand dollars. unfortunately, as i have posted before, i had to move out due to the crime/unsafe living conditions, so i have had renters in the house for the last year. well, last time i checked, i am single and only have one income. don't get me wrong, God has blessed me tremendously, but not to the point where i can afford mortgage and rent, without paying tenants. last week, i probably only slept 3-4 hours a night, as i was up researching all of my options, i won't bore you with all of that, but what i will say is prayers are welcome. i have worked so hard to get where i am, and i am really struggling with pride ( i know it is ugly) and struggling with the lessons God is trying to teach me through all of this. the positive of this... God is sovereign, He knew this was going to happen, He is ABLE, He will provide, and He will protect me. He also has provided me a safe, secure condo that i sleep at night, not in fear, and i have great neighbors:)
i think many of you know, i do a lot of celebrating for my friends, God has blessed me with AMAZING friends, for which i could never thank him enough for; however, with that comes that evil word, comparison. i am about to be in my seventeenth wedding, and this is my best friend in the entire world, oh how excited i am for this one:) this is her first real long term boyfriend and it turns out he is her future husband:) the truth is, i am struggling not to be sad when i see or hear about another engagement or pregnancy. it is hard, as i only get older each day, to remember that there is a reason for this waiting. i have prayed for God to take this desire away to be a wife and a mom, but He doesn't take it away. goodness, most days i feel that it only increases. within the last couple weeks the amount of pregnancy and engagement announcements, wedding invitation, baby shower invitations has been quite overwhelming. while i am genuinely so excited for my friends, there is a part of me, that is so sad because it isn't happening for me. i feel as though i do a pretty good job of focusing on celebrating my friends, and never voicing my sadness. today though, God reminded through my precious friend Lica that he hasn't forgotten. to say that i lost it and couldn't stop crying would be an understatement... literally, she text me at 9:17 AM this morning with the following text::
I cannot stop thinking about you. And have been praying for your heart all this week non-stop. Just wanted you to know that in case it means anything. The words "you are the God who seems me" pop in my head for you. He sees YOU and knows YOUR heart and its desires. Trust in his plan. He is FAITHFUL and loves you. Believe me my heart aches for you. And it brings ME to tears. Because the waiting is soooo hard and it may look like he has forgotten. But I know in my heart he WILL fulfill this promise. And I'll keep praying until he does:)
there are not enough words of thankfulness i could say to her for her words of encouragement today. I tend to cover up my hurt or sadness, but her reminder to me today was so needed. goodness i haven't cried like that in a while, but sometimes you just have to let it out.
the truth is, God hasn't forgotten, but sometimes i think He has.
the following lyrics are encouraging tonight::
And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
the truth is, my life is somewhat of a whirlwind right now, or heck i could even say a storm, but at the same time, i have so many blessings and i am trying so very hard to focus on those and remember God's truths in the midst of all of this.
at 25 i bought a townhouse, i'd like to say it was the dumbest decision i ever made, but a friend from church gave me some great perspective. she said, be thankful that God gave you the brains, maturity, and stability, while most 25 year olds can barely pay regular bills, this is true. i could beat myself up everyday for it, but the truth is it is a part of my story, i have learned a lot from this experience, and now i know not to make a huge decision like this again without over-analyzing this like i do everything else in my life. regardless, it is the biggest source of stress in my life, and the property is underwater by about 50 to 60 thousand dollars. unfortunately, as i have posted before, i had to move out due to the crime/unsafe living conditions, so i have had renters in the house for the last year. well, last time i checked, i am single and only have one income. don't get me wrong, God has blessed me tremendously, but not to the point where i can afford mortgage and rent, without paying tenants. last week, i probably only slept 3-4 hours a night, as i was up researching all of my options, i won't bore you with all of that, but what i will say is prayers are welcome. i have worked so hard to get where i am, and i am really struggling with pride ( i know it is ugly) and struggling with the lessons God is trying to teach me through all of this. the positive of this... God is sovereign, He knew this was going to happen, He is ABLE, He will provide, and He will protect me. He also has provided me a safe, secure condo that i sleep at night, not in fear, and i have great neighbors:)
i think many of you know, i do a lot of celebrating for my friends, God has blessed me with AMAZING friends, for which i could never thank him enough for; however, with that comes that evil word, comparison. i am about to be in my seventeenth wedding, and this is my best friend in the entire world, oh how excited i am for this one:) this is her first real long term boyfriend and it turns out he is her future husband:) the truth is, i am struggling not to be sad when i see or hear about another engagement or pregnancy. it is hard, as i only get older each day, to remember that there is a reason for this waiting. i have prayed for God to take this desire away to be a wife and a mom, but He doesn't take it away. goodness, most days i feel that it only increases. within the last couple weeks the amount of pregnancy and engagement announcements, wedding invitation, baby shower invitations has been quite overwhelming. while i am genuinely so excited for my friends, there is a part of me, that is so sad because it isn't happening for me. i feel as though i do a pretty good job of focusing on celebrating my friends, and never voicing my sadness. today though, God reminded through my precious friend Lica that he hasn't forgotten. to say that i lost it and couldn't stop crying would be an understatement... literally, she text me at 9:17 AM this morning with the following text::
I cannot stop thinking about you. And have been praying for your heart all this week non-stop. Just wanted you to know that in case it means anything. The words "you are the God who seems me" pop in my head for you. He sees YOU and knows YOUR heart and its desires. Trust in his plan. He is FAITHFUL and loves you. Believe me my heart aches for you. And it brings ME to tears. Because the waiting is soooo hard and it may look like he has forgotten. But I know in my heart he WILL fulfill this promise. And I'll keep praying until he does:)
there are not enough words of thankfulness i could say to her for her words of encouragement today. I tend to cover up my hurt or sadness, but her reminder to me today was so needed. goodness i haven't cried like that in a while, but sometimes you just have to let it out.
the truth is, God hasn't forgotten, but sometimes i think He has.
the following lyrics are encouraging tonight::
And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
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