grace, even for the good girls

so, true confession:: sometimes i think to myself, "you live a pretty good life, you are a 'good girl,' so do you really need all that grace?"  no lie, pride is an ugly sin, and i have a lot of it.  God knows exactly what he is doing ALL THE TIME, so just try that one on Him and see what he does. 

about three weeks ago, i had one of those moments where God brought me to my knees and i was in awe of just how wonderful this thing called grace really is.  you see, i am a rule follower, i hate breaking rules... always have, probably always will.  when i do break the rules or do something wrong, my guilt alone is enough to destroy me.  i mean, we are talking, i hate driving the wrong way in the parking lot, ha!  well, a few weeks ago, God totally allowed something to happen in my life, that completely brought me to my knees.  i like to think that i am strong, and that i am not weak, ha.  the truth is temptation is a bad thing and we all fall short of the glory of God and the wages of sin is death.  after this event/day in my life, the following day, i was completely eaten up with guilt.  i literally wanted to crawl in a whole and really felt as though i couldn't talk to anyone.  i kept beating myself up and kept thinking that no wonder i am still single.  God is never going to bless me with a husband if i keep making stupid decisions.  you see, this mentality is so wrong.  our God, my God, doesn't think this way.  he sent his ONLY son, to die on a cross, for each and everyone of MY sins.  how am I, kelsey morgan, worthy of this i thought that day.  i kept thinking all day, how ashamed i was, but then it hit me, because HE LOVES ME.  i can never outsin HIM.  wow, if you really think about HIS love and how much he covers us in grace, it will bring you to your knees and it is powerful.  i was in my living room, on the floor, just crying out to him.  i have never felt HIS love and his grace so much in my whole life. 

all i can say is that i am a work in progress, this whole grace thing isn't easy, but i am praying daily for Him to remind me of how wonderful HE is and how great GRACE is.