my life, His story

Last April I attended the Women’s Retreat with my church, and the theme was, “My Life, His Story.” Last night I was at my friend Lica’s house attending a group she hosts for a group of us girls and she was talking about how in her small group they have been sharing “their stories.” Quietly, I sat there and thought, I don’t really have a story, or my story is so boring. I knew that I shouldn’t think that, and honestly, I was mad at myself for even thinking this, but tonight I mentioned this to my best friend Lindsey, and she helped me accept that I do have a story, and yes I knew this already, but sometimes you just need a friend to remind you of the obvious, so for the two or three of you that read this, I thought I’d share with you.

I was born in Homestead, Florida. My mother actually didn’t plan on having children, so she would be the first to tell you that I completely changed her life for the better, so there we have a start to my story, God specifically created me (Psalm 139: 13-14 one of my favorite passages in the Bible) for a purpose. We lived in Florida for 3.5 more years, when I was 2.5 my younger sister was born, Kendall, and then we all headed back to Lincolnton, NC, where I lived until the day I left for college.

seriously one of my favorite pics of my mother, she is beautiful in this pic:)

When I was seven, my biological father committed suicide. My biological father and mother were divorced; however, I do remember my mother having to tell my sister and me. To my seven-year-old mind, this was a sad event, but I can honestly tell you I do not have very much emotion associated with him or this event. He wasn’t always there for my mother, for my sister, or for me. My mother married my step dad (who is my dad) in May 1990, I was 7.5 years old, and that was an adjustment at the time, but now he is the best dad and would literally give the shirt off of his back to anyone.

many of you have never seen a picture of my biological father, so here he is, he actually has a shirt on, very rare

Growing up in small town, where my mother was born, where all of our family lives was absolutely a true blessing. My grandparents (my mother’s parents) lived about five minutes away from us pretty much my whole life. From as early as I can remember, my grandmother would come and get my sister and I and take us to church with her. We would go to the Methodist Church, while my mother and step dad stayed home. At some point, my great, great Aunt Nuttie (who lived beside of us) stepped in around the time I was in second grade and decided we need a little Baptist in us, so she started taking Kendall and me to Boger City Baptist. What a true blessing, because this is where I met my best friends that I still have. Seriously, some of the girls I met in my 2nd grade Sunday School Class are some of the same girls you see in my pictures today (Crystal, Nicole, Natalie). Obviously, going to church with all of my friends and seeing their parents at church, made me wonder why my parents weren’t there. I would go home and ask Moma and Roger why they weren’t coming. In addition, there were times when Kendall and I had questions about Bible stories or things we had learned at church, and Moma didn’t know the answers. One thing is for sure, I don’t give up, so I just continued to ask them to come. I am not exactly sure when Moma started coming, but I know that when I was in the 5th grade, my mom and I were baptized together:) I know there were other people that influenced my mother in her spiritual walk, but I’d like to think my nagging helped somewhat. Now we were three against one, working on my dad. So we all started praying for him. I don’t remember the exact timing, but a few years later, my sister and my dad were baptized together, oh yes, God is SO good. Now, both of my parents are pillars of the church, if you will, and it is amazing to see the work God has done in both of their lives over the years. How special is that.


In middle and high school, our church had a very large youth program. At a time when some kids want to fit in and are tempted, I chose to stand out and wanted nothing more than to be a Jesus Freak (oh yes, loved me some DC Talk). I did the typical things (summer mission trips, purity events, Youth Rallies, lock-ins, etc.). Seriously, I remember at our Senior Celebration Event (for all of the graduating seniors) thinking, will I find this community/encouragement in college?

one of the many youth trips we took

At a very early age, I started doing well in school (definitely didn’t get the confidence gene), but sometimes I brag a little, hehe. I decided that I wanted to be the first in our immediate family to go to college, and I didn’t set my mind to just any old school, I wanted to be a TARHEEL. I only applied to Carolina, and because God is faithful, I got accepted, and was on my way. Here I go, little Southern girl from Lincolnton off to Chapel Hill with my best friend (Lindsey Jo). I knew that life would be way different, and temptation would be so much more than what I had experienced in high school. I knew a few other girls from Lincolnton, and met a great Christian girl from Greensboro, but at the same time, there were frat parties, freedom, and the devil knew that I desperately wanted to fit in somewhere. I attended Campus Crusade occasionally, but it fell on the same night (Thursday) that was the cool night to go out in college, I look back now and I am like there was a reason for that, hehe.

carolina graduation, woohoo

Throughout college, I continued to balance the tough class schedule, going out with friends, and the guilt I felt from not making it to church. I remember my mother would call me every Sunday and ask if I made it to church, it would make me so mad. I thought, I don’t need you checking in on me, and it made me feel so bad. I just wanted to be able to stray away if I wanted to. Lindsey went to Gardner Webb, and she met all of these great Christian friends, and I think part of me resented that as well. I had made new friends at this point, and we had so much fun, all the time.

After college, I decided to stay in the area, and I lived in Raleigh for three years. The first year out of college, I can honestly say was the most depressing year of my life. Every weekend my friends and I did the same thing, we would go out, drink, sleep til noon or later on Sunday, get up and meet for lunch. I remember standing in these bars and feeling so out of place, but desperately trying to fit in. Many times, I thought if I drink another beer, will some guy find me more attractive? I rarely got drunk, but drinking to fit in was stupid. Most of the time, I would drink like one or two and then I would be the DD, but I just wanted to fit in with everyone else. Don’t get me wrong, my friends were not negative influences and this isn’t all they/we did, we did other things that didn’t involve the bar/alcohol, but this was our weekend routine. They all recognized that I was not happy, and each one of them wanted to help. A few Sundays, I got up and went to church by myself or Holly (my roommate) would go with me, but it wasn’t something that I truly invested in. I would feel so bad, like you are such a sinner and so unworthy, you shouldn’t really be here. When I say I was depressed, I am not using this term jokingly. I seriously, was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I would cry all the time. I gained a lot of weight. I couldn’t figure out what my problem was. I couldn’t find a job, and nothing in my life was what I planned. I was 24 years old, not married, had a degree from UNC, but was making nearly nothing in a crappy job, and was living three hours away from my family. I started seeing a psychologist, and I know that God totally orchestrated this in my life. I may not have been praying for His will in my life at this point, but He totally put Christin (my psychologist) in my life at the right time. In April 2006, I got my job at Quintiles, and I started getting my priorities in order. I started attending Hope (my church in Raleigh) on a regular basis, and I was no longer running away.Mike Lee, the pastor, was totally what I needed, and every week he was speaking to me.  I mean, we are talking if he had to pick out a person's name in the congregation, it would have Kelsey Rae Morgan, every Sunday:) It was like the Holy Spirit would speak via Mike to me. I couldn’t get enough; I hated to miss it. I started volunteering in the nursery, and one Saturday evening God put a very special person in my life. I had just bought a new Coach purse, and a girl on the shuttle bus, said “Is that a real coach?” I said, “Yes, I babysat for an entire weekend to pay for it.” She said, “I gave mine up for the Mina project.” Long story short, we instantly clicked, she invited me to her small group, and there I met four girls that will be lifelong friends (Candice – the girl with the Coach – Heather, Kaleena, and Ashley). The year I spent in the small group, totally transformed my walk with God, my relationship with him, but I left out one thing, by the time I met her, I had already signed on the dotted line, and purchased a home in Charlotte… it was time for change.

since i've pretty much exposed it all, you see the weight gain in full effect, yikes

much better, kaleena, candice, heather (a month after giving birth) and ashley

Moving back closer to my family was totally part of His plan. I moved into my townhouse in September 2008. It was nice to be just a 45 minute drive from my parents house and my grandparents. If you read this blog before, you know how close I was to my grandmother. My grandmother passed away, very unexpectedly, in May 2009, so I know that it was a total blessing from God that I had those months to spend time with her. The night my grandfather called me (at 3:15 AM) to tell me that my grandmother has passed away, I remember screaming, crying, and panicking, but at one point, I had this overwhelming peace when I looked at my Bible. I remember thinking grab that, immediately, you are going to need that. I remember reading scripture that week and finding so much comfort in His word.

my sweet grandmother, oh how i miss her

I moved into my townhouse in September 2008, with a renewed spirit, ready to start fresh. I have major control issues, so even though I was praying that God's will would be done, I still had a plan for how my life would turn out now that I had moved to a new city. I started attending Forest Hill, and I quickly joined a Lifegroup, and my lifegroup leader became one of my best friends. I was crossing things off of this to do list, knowing that God was going to bless me, as I thought I was doing everything right.

I got extremely motivated and lost about 50-60 pounds after moving here, and I just knew that God was going to answer my prayers and send me my future husband. After all, in my mind, the only problem was that I was overweight and not attractive to the opposite sex. I've struggled for years with self-confidence, and was so excited that God was answering my prayers and helping me lose this weight, but when you are searching or looking for validation from earthly things and people, believe, God has other plans. I went from a size 16 to a comfortable size 6 (sometimes a size 4), and still haven't been on a date, so I can confidently say that it isn't all about how skinny you are. It is totally a God thing. I still struggle with why it hasn't been in God's plan to send me my future husband, but I know that I have a lot to offer, I know I am a child of God, I know that there is a specific reason that he is having me wait, and I know that life goes on without a man:)

After a year and a half or so of living in Charlotte, I realized that I was searching for my significance in all the wrong places, and that the truth was I didn't know who I was in Christ. As I stated above, I've struggled with confidence and self-esteem my whole life, and to someone who thought she had it all together, this was really tough. I remember I couldn't even tell Kasey and Emily for probably a month and half, I couldn't accept the fact that I had failed, and was once again dealing with depression. I started seeing a counselor again, and she has been absolutely wonderful. There are times when I may not see eye to eye with her, but she has helped me grow tremendously. I think a big thing that God and others have taught me in this past year is that I don't have to be like everyone else, I am Kelsey Morgan, a slow reader, someone who gains a lot from hearing people speak, someone who has to be reminded and told things multiple times, and someone is a little afraid to step out on her own, but is trying to more and more. I know I am God's masterpiece, and that is something that is hard for me to grasp the concept of on a daily basis, but I try to tell myself often.

love each and every one of you, so much

love you dearly, you make life more fun

my life wouldn't have been the same without you

There are so many things I want to accomplish and do, mainly I want to be genuine and make a difference, even in the smallest way.  I want my life to matter, and I want my story to continue to be written by Him:)  As I stated in the beginning, I know that my story is not heart-wrenching or earth-shattering, but He has written it, and I pray that I will let Him continue to do so.