and we wonder?

so, anyone who knows me knows that my dating life has honestly been what i would like to describe as pretty non-existent, but the guys i have dated and the dates i have gone on have been somewhat entertaining. so today, i feel compelled to stroll back through the highlight reel to provide all with a glimpse into perhaps the reasons why i might still be single (don't worry this is pure entertainment, not sad by any means)... laugh with me, or hey at me, all of these stories make me laugh now (no seriously)!

so, i'll start in about 5th grade, i had my first boyfriend. this was probably my first problem, i think i hit my prime in middle school. i had my first real kiss when i was 10, yikes... it was at my daycare under a teacher's desk, seriously, was i really that scandalous, i do believe so! we move onto middle school and i actually had a boyfriend at the friday night dances that we attended... i mean, this was a big deal back in the day. i was always on the phone talking their ear off, not much has changed there (ask any of my friends, if you call me or i call you, chances are, i'll just keeping talking for hours on end if you let me). in 7th grade, my friend natalie and i traded boyfriends and this begins the beginning of the end, if you will. i'll try not to name names, but i thought i had met the "love of my life" in 7th/8th grade (i'd known him since kindergarten), but don't worry i embrace my dramatic approach to life:)

all throughout 8th grade, i would pray every day and night that God would bring us together, that we would become boyfriend and girlfriend... well long story short, on the last day of school, he did just that! i am pretty sure, nothing could have made me more happy... that summer was the best summer ever. i just knew that God had brought us together (answered my prayers) and he was going to be my husband one day. that's right, i hope you are following... i knew all of this at the ripe age of 14! don't worry as you can imagine, my "dream guy" broke my heart a few short months later, and i was devastated. he later tried to get me back at the beginning of our sophomore year, but don't worry that didn't work, i wanted nothing to do with him at that point. [he even pulled out all the stops with a teddy bear charm bracelet.]

i dated a guy or two my sophomore/early junior year, but i want bore you with the details of that, lindsey would probably love for me to include that story of how i flipped out on her one night because one guy broke up with me and started liking lindsey, but oh, i won't go there, hehe.

back to the first guy, i never really stopped liking him and he would call me and tell me that he still had feelings for me (even though he dated other girls in between). i'll spare you all the details and bring you up to my senior prom. [sidenote: he got into some trouble, missed a lot of school, and basically dropped out of school. he wasn't going to be able to go to our prom, so i stepped in and asked him to go as my date, and i thought this was going to be the best night of my life. i just knew that he was going to confess his love for me and we were going to be as happy as two people could be. after all, secretly, this is what he was telling me all the time.] one of my best friends at the time, katie, and i were so happy, we didn't know what to do. i was going to my senior prom with the guy that i had basically been in love with since 7th grade, what could go wrong. one minor detail, did i mention, he had a girlfriend? the only good thing i had going for me was that she was a year older and had already graduated, so there was no way she was coming to my prom and ruining my night, right? i am so excited, the prom is in about two weeks, and you guessed it... i found out that he has found another senior to take his girlfriend... as you can imagine, i am crushed. to my 18 year old self, this was the most devastating news, EVER. about a week before the prom, his grandmother called to find out if i had gotten a corsage, i said no, not yet, but that if he couldn't take care of that, my dad would get mine. at this point, i'm thinking, things are not looking good, but i continued to be hopeful. our friends had all rented a stretch escalade, which we were all very excited about and planned to meet up at one of the guy's houses beforehand for pictures. i arrive and my date is nowhere to be found. my friend katie and her boyfriend at the time, tim are desperately trying to cheer me up and provide hope, but i knew things were not looking good. eventually he shows up with his girlfriend. you should probably know there was no room for her in the stretch escalade, so apparently they arranged for her to ride in a lexus following closely behind us (this can't get any worse, right?). please keep reading. his tux matches her dress, his boutonniere matched her dress, the list could keep going. i was completely crushed, like i am pretty sure my heart was in a million pieces, but i was determined to give him multiple chances, because this was "our" night (remember i was 18). if you are wondering, he does acknowledge me, at some point. many of the moms there knew how much i liked him (so i thought loved) and made him take a few snapshots with me... i am pretty sure my mom and grandmother could have killed him. (i wish you guys could have seen them). they wanted me to leave and go meet up with lindsey and crystal, but i refused. so, off we go to get our professional pictures made. we arrive at the studio. now, of course, i am so excited to have professional pictures made with him, and i hear him say, well i only have money to get my picture made with my girlfriend. i immediately reach my breaking point, run to the bathroom, and start crying. tim (katie's boyfriend) runs to the rescue and offers to have his picture taken with me, so i don't have to be alone in my pictures (even typing this i am thinking does this really happen, how pathetic). the photographer overhears what is going on, and he steps up and says, i'll wave the setting fee for your date, he can be in the pictures, but he won't be able to get any of the pictures. so, my date pays for his pictures with his girlfriend and then has his picture made with me. it was awful, the whole room was giving him evil looks, meanwhile everyone wants to pick me up and take me out of there. the photographer is saying things like, "get a little closer, act like you love each other." we survive the picture studio, just barely and we head to dinner at a japense steakhouse. don't worry, he doesn't sit by me, nor does he pay for my dinner... he pays for hers, so i call my parents and ask if i can use their credit card, which they gladly said yes. i'm pretty sure malia walker was already out of the driveway on her way to get me, but i had to calmly get her to reverse the car, haha. so now it is time to finally go to the prom. we stopped at a gas station first, and "my guy" gets me in the limo by myself, i was crying again, and he gets in the floor and he starts telling me that it is going to be okay, that we are going to have a good time at the prom, he is going to escort me in, and we are going to dance, yada yada... then he kisses me. (of course, no one knows, it was all secretive.) seriously, why didn't i smack him upside of his head??? so, we get out of the limo, he has proceeded to take off his button up, so now he only has a vest and jacket on... he escorts his girlfriend into the prom, dances with her, and leaves me at my senior prom... he actually never spoke to me. at the after prom party, he told my friend katie, that i deserved what i got and i had to hear him say it...

we didn't speak for nearly 6 years, until katie's wedding day. i have no hard feelings now, it is in past, and honestly i know it was God's protection that i left Lincolnton and went to college and we never spoke again.

at the end of the summer, after my senior year, i started dating a much more normal guy if you will. someone i worked with and i was so excited to date someone who would actually take me out on dates, someone who wasn't embarrassed to be seen in public with me. we dated my freshman year of college, and he would come to see me at carolina, as he was a senior in high school still. valentine's day weekend he had planned to come see me, and i was so excited. he arrives with a dozen roses in hand, and i am thinking what did i do to deserve such a great guy. [he made me sweet cds with love songs, sent me sweet cards, sent me flowers other times, etc.] shortly after he arrived, he said we needed to talk. i was thinking okay, but i could tell that his attitude had quickly changed and he looked scared to death. he tells me that things are too serious for him and that he wants to end things??? okay, really, who does this, who breaks up with someone on valentine's day weekend? the worst part, he did this a few hours after he arrived on friday, and THEN he decided to stay the whole weekend after breaking up with me, and tortured me that whole weekend.

i've dated a few other guys, and this is where the comedy begins:

my junior year, my college roommate holly wanted to set me up with her boyfriend's cousin. now, i was a little nervous about this one, but i agreed. first we talked on the phone, he went to clemson and obviously i was at carolina, so for literally two months we talked on the phone almost every night. i can honestly say i don't think i have ever been able to talk to someone so easily in my whole life. we would talk for at least an hour ever night, it was wonderful. i had never been so excited to meet someone in my life. he was from my hometown, so over Christmas break, we had made plans to go on our first date. he was going to take me to Concord Mills and a restaurant nearby and then i guess we'd shop around. so, he took me to a cajun restaurant, i can't remember the name of it, but it wasn't that great (neither of us liked it, but i made the best of it, because i wanted to enjoy my time with him). He was more quiet in person, and i was thinking, where is the guy that I have been talking to every night for the past two months? So, now we are on our way to Concord Mills. He looks at me, Kelsey Morgan, and says, "I need to go to the Bass Pro Shop and look at huntin stuff, do you mind?" I thought he was joking, but he was totally serious. So, off we go, to camo gear, guns, turkey call devices, feeders, you name it. I am pretty sure we spent an hour or so in that place. To a 20 year old girl who loves all things girly, I thought this was torture, and a terrible idea for a date. He tried to redeem himself and asked if there was anywhere that I wanted to go, but I surely wasn't going to put him through the torture I went through and make him look at jewelry, perfume, and clothes, so I said no and we headed home. We did go out a second time, but in the end, he decided that I wasn't his type, so he didn't call again... I mean, I probably won't ever be anyone's type who wants me to get excited about tree stands, knives, shotguns, bucks/doe, how ever many pointer that deer was, and getting up and 4AM to go huntin as they call it. Now don't get me wrong, if that excites my future husband one day, that is wonderful, but that will be his thing and I will have my thing... we will have our separate escapes. I will not intrude upon that. I'm pretty sure I'd be the one that ended up in the emergency room if I attempted to kill an animal of any sort.

i went out with a guy a few months after my knee surgery who wanted to go ice skating. he even tried to couple's skate with me, and i turned around said, seriously, if you make fall and i have to have surgery again, you will definitely never see me again. poor guy he tried so hard, but almost too hard. he also told me on our first date (our only date) that he wanted to be married as soon as possible.

another time, i was set up with a guy by some co-workers. he worked for nascar, one of my co-worker's husbands worked with him. coincidentally he was from my hometown, so i thought, okay, he is going to be a nice southern gentleman, right? well, he was a gentleman, but he was so shy, it was awful, like painfully awful. i carried the conversation, and i guess he was totally intimidated by me. i will give him credit, our first date was a double date with the couple that set us up, although he hardly spoke, he did eventually ask me back out (nearly two weeks later). we went to texas roadhouse (major points there, doesn't take much to impress this southern girl, hehe), but i could have been having a conversation with the booth he was sitting in, oh yes. the booth was doing well.

let's see, another guy i dated loved festivals. okay, it was the oddest thing in life. on our first date he asked me if i enjoyed them, and i said, well i'll definitely go, so he started rambling off all these festivals; he seriously had one ever weekend. at first i thought he was joking, but no, he wasn't. he also loved bargain shopping. i love to shop, but seriously, on our 3rd or 4th date, he took me to steve and barry's, which i had never even heard of. we only went out about 6/7 times, but the last night we had planned to hang out, i had just gotten home from a weekend in raleigh, and i was running downstairs, as i need to quickly shower to get ready, i'll spare everyone the long drawn out details, but i broke my ankle (fibula bone) that night and he stood me up all in the same night. i gave him crap when he finally called at 10:30, it was probably all the pain setting in, but regardless, i must say i'm somewhat glad i got rid of the festival lover!

i wish i could post pics, so bad, but i'll just leave it up to your imagination:)