and we wonder?

so, anyone who knows me knows that my dating life has honestly been what i would like to describe as pretty non-existent, but the guys i have dated and the dates i have gone on have been somewhat entertaining. so today, i feel compelled to stroll back through the highlight reel to provide all with a glimpse into perhaps the reasons why i might still be single (don't worry this is pure entertainment, not sad by any means)... laugh with me, or hey at me, all of these stories make me laugh now (no seriously)!

so, i'll start in about 5th grade, i had my first boyfriend. this was probably my first problem, i think i hit my prime in middle school. i had my first real kiss when i was 10, yikes... it was at my daycare under a teacher's desk, seriously, was i really that scandalous, i do believe so! we move onto middle school and i actually had a boyfriend at the friday night dances that we attended... i mean, this was a big deal back in the day. i was always on the phone talking their ear off, not much has changed there (ask any of my friends, if you call me or i call you, chances are, i'll just keeping talking for hours on end if you let me). in 7th grade, my friend natalie and i traded boyfriends and this begins the beginning of the end, if you will. i'll try not to name names, but i thought i had met the "love of my life" in 7th/8th grade (i'd known him since kindergarten), but don't worry i embrace my dramatic approach to life:)

all throughout 8th grade, i would pray every day and night that God would bring us together, that we would become boyfriend and girlfriend... well long story short, on the last day of school, he did just that! i am pretty sure, nothing could have made me more happy... that summer was the best summer ever. i just knew that God had brought us together (answered my prayers) and he was going to be my husband one day. that's right, i hope you are following... i knew all of this at the ripe age of 14! don't worry as you can imagine, my "dream guy" broke my heart a few short months later, and i was devastated. he later tried to get me back at the beginning of our sophomore year, but don't worry that didn't work, i wanted nothing to do with him at that point. [he even pulled out all the stops with a teddy bear charm bracelet.]

i dated a guy or two my sophomore/early junior year, but i want bore you with the details of that, lindsey would probably love for me to include that story of how i flipped out on her one night because one guy broke up with me and started liking lindsey, but oh, i won't go there, hehe.

back to the first guy, i never really stopped liking him and he would call me and tell me that he still had feelings for me (even though he dated other girls in between). i'll spare you all the details and bring you up to my senior prom. [sidenote: he got into some trouble, missed a lot of school, and basically dropped out of school. he wasn't going to be able to go to our prom, so i stepped in and asked him to go as my date, and i thought this was going to be the best night of my life. i just knew that he was going to confess his love for me and we were going to be as happy as two people could be. after all, secretly, this is what he was telling me all the time.] one of my best friends at the time, katie, and i were so happy, we didn't know what to do. i was going to my senior prom with the guy that i had basically been in love with since 7th grade, what could go wrong. one minor detail, did i mention, he had a girlfriend? the only good thing i had going for me was that she was a year older and had already graduated, so there was no way she was coming to my prom and ruining my night, right? i am so excited, the prom is in about two weeks, and you guessed it... i found out that he has found another senior to take his girlfriend... as you can imagine, i am crushed. to my 18 year old self, this was the most devastating news, EVER. about a week before the prom, his grandmother called to find out if i had gotten a corsage, i said no, not yet, but that if he couldn't take care of that, my dad would get mine. at this point, i'm thinking, things are not looking good, but i continued to be hopeful. our friends had all rented a stretch escalade, which we were all very excited about and planned to meet up at one of the guy's houses beforehand for pictures. i arrive and my date is nowhere to be found. my friend katie and her boyfriend at the time, tim are desperately trying to cheer me up and provide hope, but i knew things were not looking good. eventually he shows up with his girlfriend. you should probably know there was no room for her in the stretch escalade, so apparently they arranged for her to ride in a lexus following closely behind us (this can't get any worse, right?). please keep reading. his tux matches her dress, his boutonniere matched her dress, the list could keep going. i was completely crushed, like i am pretty sure my heart was in a million pieces, but i was determined to give him multiple chances, because this was "our" night (remember i was 18). if you are wondering, he does acknowledge me, at some point. many of the moms there knew how much i liked him (so i thought loved) and made him take a few snapshots with me... i am pretty sure my mom and grandmother could have killed him. (i wish you guys could have seen them). they wanted me to leave and go meet up with lindsey and crystal, but i refused. so, off we go to get our professional pictures made. we arrive at the studio. now, of course, i am so excited to have professional pictures made with him, and i hear him say, well i only have money to get my picture made with my girlfriend. i immediately reach my breaking point, run to the bathroom, and start crying. tim (katie's boyfriend) runs to the rescue and offers to have his picture taken with me, so i don't have to be alone in my pictures (even typing this i am thinking does this really happen, how pathetic). the photographer overhears what is going on, and he steps up and says, i'll wave the setting fee for your date, he can be in the pictures, but he won't be able to get any of the pictures. so, my date pays for his pictures with his girlfriend and then has his picture made with me. it was awful, the whole room was giving him evil looks, meanwhile everyone wants to pick me up and take me out of there. the photographer is saying things like, "get a little closer, act like you love each other." we survive the picture studio, just barely and we head to dinner at a japense steakhouse. don't worry, he doesn't sit by me, nor does he pay for my dinner... he pays for hers, so i call my parents and ask if i can use their credit card, which they gladly said yes. i'm pretty sure malia walker was already out of the driveway on her way to get me, but i had to calmly get her to reverse the car, haha. so now it is time to finally go to the prom. we stopped at a gas station first, and "my guy" gets me in the limo by myself, i was crying again, and he gets in the floor and he starts telling me that it is going to be okay, that we are going to have a good time at the prom, he is going to escort me in, and we are going to dance, yada yada... then he kisses me. (of course, no one knows, it was all secretive.) seriously, why didn't i smack him upside of his head??? so, we get out of the limo, he has proceeded to take off his button up, so now he only has a vest and jacket on... he escorts his girlfriend into the prom, dances with her, and leaves me at my senior prom... he actually never spoke to me. at the after prom party, he told my friend katie, that i deserved what i got and i had to hear him say it...

we didn't speak for nearly 6 years, until katie's wedding day. i have no hard feelings now, it is in past, and honestly i know it was God's protection that i left Lincolnton and went to college and we never spoke again.

at the end of the summer, after my senior year, i started dating a much more normal guy if you will. someone i worked with and i was so excited to date someone who would actually take me out on dates, someone who wasn't embarrassed to be seen in public with me. we dated my freshman year of college, and he would come to see me at carolina, as he was a senior in high school still. valentine's day weekend he had planned to come see me, and i was so excited. he arrives with a dozen roses in hand, and i am thinking what did i do to deserve such a great guy. [he made me sweet cds with love songs, sent me sweet cards, sent me flowers other times, etc.] shortly after he arrived, he said we needed to talk. i was thinking okay, but i could tell that his attitude had quickly changed and he looked scared to death. he tells me that things are too serious for him and that he wants to end things??? okay, really, who does this, who breaks up with someone on valentine's day weekend? the worst part, he did this a few hours after he arrived on friday, and THEN he decided to stay the whole weekend after breaking up with me, and tortured me that whole weekend.

i've dated a few other guys, and this is where the comedy begins:

my junior year, my college roommate holly wanted to set me up with her boyfriend's cousin. now, i was a little nervous about this one, but i agreed. first we talked on the phone, he went to clemson and obviously i was at carolina, so for literally two months we talked on the phone almost every night. i can honestly say i don't think i have ever been able to talk to someone so easily in my whole life. we would talk for at least an hour ever night, it was wonderful. i had never been so excited to meet someone in my life. he was from my hometown, so over Christmas break, we had made plans to go on our first date. he was going to take me to Concord Mills and a restaurant nearby and then i guess we'd shop around. so, he took me to a cajun restaurant, i can't remember the name of it, but it wasn't that great (neither of us liked it, but i made the best of it, because i wanted to enjoy my time with him). He was more quiet in person, and i was thinking, where is the guy that I have been talking to every night for the past two months? So, now we are on our way to Concord Mills. He looks at me, Kelsey Morgan, and says, "I need to go to the Bass Pro Shop and look at huntin stuff, do you mind?" I thought he was joking, but he was totally serious. So, off we go, to camo gear, guns, turkey call devices, feeders, you name it. I am pretty sure we spent an hour or so in that place. To a 20 year old girl who loves all things girly, I thought this was torture, and a terrible idea for a date. He tried to redeem himself and asked if there was anywhere that I wanted to go, but I surely wasn't going to put him through the torture I went through and make him look at jewelry, perfume, and clothes, so I said no and we headed home. We did go out a second time, but in the end, he decided that I wasn't his type, so he didn't call again... I mean, I probably won't ever be anyone's type who wants me to get excited about tree stands, knives, shotguns, bucks/doe, how ever many pointer that deer was, and getting up and 4AM to go huntin as they call it. Now don't get me wrong, if that excites my future husband one day, that is wonderful, but that will be his thing and I will have my thing... we will have our separate escapes. I will not intrude upon that. I'm pretty sure I'd be the one that ended up in the emergency room if I attempted to kill an animal of any sort.

i went out with a guy a few months after my knee surgery who wanted to go ice skating. he even tried to couple's skate with me, and i turned around said, seriously, if you make fall and i have to have surgery again, you will definitely never see me again. poor guy he tried so hard, but almost too hard. he also told me on our first date (our only date) that he wanted to be married as soon as possible.

another time, i was set up with a guy by some co-workers. he worked for nascar, one of my co-worker's husbands worked with him. coincidentally he was from my hometown, so i thought, okay, he is going to be a nice southern gentleman, right? well, he was a gentleman, but he was so shy, it was awful, like painfully awful. i carried the conversation, and i guess he was totally intimidated by me. i will give him credit, our first date was a double date with the couple that set us up, although he hardly spoke, he did eventually ask me back out (nearly two weeks later). we went to texas roadhouse (major points there, doesn't take much to impress this southern girl, hehe), but i could have been having a conversation with the booth he was sitting in, oh yes. the booth was doing well.

let's see, another guy i dated loved festivals. okay, it was the oddest thing in life. on our first date he asked me if i enjoyed them, and i said, well i'll definitely go, so he started rambling off all these festivals; he seriously had one ever weekend. at first i thought he was joking, but no, he wasn't. he also loved bargain shopping. i love to shop, but seriously, on our 3rd or 4th date, he took me to steve and barry's, which i had never even heard of. we only went out about 6/7 times, but the last night we had planned to hang out, i had just gotten home from a weekend in raleigh, and i was running downstairs, as i need to quickly shower to get ready, i'll spare everyone the long drawn out details, but i broke my ankle (fibula bone) that night and he stood me up all in the same night. i gave him crap when he finally called at 10:30, it was probably all the pain setting in, but regardless, i must say i'm somewhat glad i got rid of the festival lover!

i wish i could post pics, so bad, but i'll just leave it up to your imagination:)

cooking fun with lindsey and crystal

so, i've decided that i really do need to learn to cook (listed in my 29 things to do for this year), so lindsey and crystal have decided to join me in this little adventure. crystal is about to get married, so i am sure dusty will appreciate her learning how to cook a few new dishes. lindsey already enjoys cooking, so i'm pretty sure she was excited to join in on the fun and help me out:)

so, thursday night we had made plans to go try on bridesmaids dresses for crystal's wedding and then head back to my house to try a paula dean "maple-glazed pineapple salsa salmon" recipe, a shrimp and asparagus salad, and some couscous. it turned out pretty good, i'm pretty sure i did a few things wrong, but next time i will know what i can do differently to improve the salmon.

it was fun to try a new dish, to have people to eat with, and to have some quality time with my best friends. excited that we are going to do this once a month.

my life, His story

Last April I attended the Women’s Retreat with my church, and the theme was, “My Life, His Story.” Last night I was at my friend Lica’s house attending a group she hosts for a group of us girls and she was talking about how in her small group they have been sharing “their stories.” Quietly, I sat there and thought, I don’t really have a story, or my story is so boring. I knew that I shouldn’t think that, and honestly, I was mad at myself for even thinking this, but tonight I mentioned this to my best friend Lindsey, and she helped me accept that I do have a story, and yes I knew this already, but sometimes you just need a friend to remind you of the obvious, so for the two or three of you that read this, I thought I’d share with you.

I was born in Homestead, Florida. My mother actually didn’t plan on having children, so she would be the first to tell you that I completely changed her life for the better, so there we have a start to my story, God specifically created me (Psalm 139: 13-14 one of my favorite passages in the Bible) for a purpose. We lived in Florida for 3.5 more years, when I was 2.5 my younger sister was born, Kendall, and then we all headed back to Lincolnton, NC, where I lived until the day I left for college.

seriously one of my favorite pics of my mother, she is beautiful in this pic:)

When I was seven, my biological father committed suicide. My biological father and mother were divorced; however, I do remember my mother having to tell my sister and me. To my seven-year-old mind, this was a sad event, but I can honestly tell you I do not have very much emotion associated with him or this event. He wasn’t always there for my mother, for my sister, or for me. My mother married my step dad (who is my dad) in May 1990, I was 7.5 years old, and that was an adjustment at the time, but now he is the best dad and would literally give the shirt off of his back to anyone.

many of you have never seen a picture of my biological father, so here he is, he actually has a shirt on, very rare

Growing up in small town, where my mother was born, where all of our family lives was absolutely a true blessing. My grandparents (my mother’s parents) lived about five minutes away from us pretty much my whole life. From as early as I can remember, my grandmother would come and get my sister and I and take us to church with her. We would go to the Methodist Church, while my mother and step dad stayed home. At some point, my great, great Aunt Nuttie (who lived beside of us) stepped in around the time I was in second grade and decided we need a little Baptist in us, so she started taking Kendall and me to Boger City Baptist. What a true blessing, because this is where I met my best friends that I still have. Seriously, some of the girls I met in my 2nd grade Sunday School Class are some of the same girls you see in my pictures today (Crystal, Nicole, Natalie). Obviously, going to church with all of my friends and seeing their parents at church, made me wonder why my parents weren’t there. I would go home and ask Moma and Roger why they weren’t coming. In addition, there were times when Kendall and I had questions about Bible stories or things we had learned at church, and Moma didn’t know the answers. One thing is for sure, I don’t give up, so I just continued to ask them to come. I am not exactly sure when Moma started coming, but I know that when I was in the 5th grade, my mom and I were baptized together:) I know there were other people that influenced my mother in her spiritual walk, but I’d like to think my nagging helped somewhat. Now we were three against one, working on my dad. So we all started praying for him. I don’t remember the exact timing, but a few years later, my sister and my dad were baptized together, oh yes, God is SO good. Now, both of my parents are pillars of the church, if you will, and it is amazing to see the work God has done in both of their lives over the years. How special is that.


In middle and high school, our church had a very large youth program. At a time when some kids want to fit in and are tempted, I chose to stand out and wanted nothing more than to be a Jesus Freak (oh yes, loved me some DC Talk). I did the typical things (summer mission trips, purity events, Youth Rallies, lock-ins, etc.). Seriously, I remember at our Senior Celebration Event (for all of the graduating seniors) thinking, will I find this community/encouragement in college?

one of the many youth trips we took

At a very early age, I started doing well in school (definitely didn’t get the confidence gene), but sometimes I brag a little, hehe. I decided that I wanted to be the first in our immediate family to go to college, and I didn’t set my mind to just any old school, I wanted to be a TARHEEL. I only applied to Carolina, and because God is faithful, I got accepted, and was on my way. Here I go, little Southern girl from Lincolnton off to Chapel Hill with my best friend (Lindsey Jo). I knew that life would be way different, and temptation would be so much more than what I had experienced in high school. I knew a few other girls from Lincolnton, and met a great Christian girl from Greensboro, but at the same time, there were frat parties, freedom, and the devil knew that I desperately wanted to fit in somewhere. I attended Campus Crusade occasionally, but it fell on the same night (Thursday) that was the cool night to go out in college, I look back now and I am like there was a reason for that, hehe.

carolina graduation, woohoo

Throughout college, I continued to balance the tough class schedule, going out with friends, and the guilt I felt from not making it to church. I remember my mother would call me every Sunday and ask if I made it to church, it would make me so mad. I thought, I don’t need you checking in on me, and it made me feel so bad. I just wanted to be able to stray away if I wanted to. Lindsey went to Gardner Webb, and she met all of these great Christian friends, and I think part of me resented that as well. I had made new friends at this point, and we had so much fun, all the time.

After college, I decided to stay in the area, and I lived in Raleigh for three years. The first year out of college, I can honestly say was the most depressing year of my life. Every weekend my friends and I did the same thing, we would go out, drink, sleep til noon or later on Sunday, get up and meet for lunch. I remember standing in these bars and feeling so out of place, but desperately trying to fit in. Many times, I thought if I drink another beer, will some guy find me more attractive? I rarely got drunk, but drinking to fit in was stupid. Most of the time, I would drink like one or two and then I would be the DD, but I just wanted to fit in with everyone else. Don’t get me wrong, my friends were not negative influences and this isn’t all they/we did, we did other things that didn’t involve the bar/alcohol, but this was our weekend routine. They all recognized that I was not happy, and each one of them wanted to help. A few Sundays, I got up and went to church by myself or Holly (my roommate) would go with me, but it wasn’t something that I truly invested in. I would feel so bad, like you are such a sinner and so unworthy, you shouldn’t really be here. When I say I was depressed, I am not using this term jokingly. I seriously, was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I would cry all the time. I gained a lot of weight. I couldn’t figure out what my problem was. I couldn’t find a job, and nothing in my life was what I planned. I was 24 years old, not married, had a degree from UNC, but was making nearly nothing in a crappy job, and was living three hours away from my family. I started seeing a psychologist, and I know that God totally orchestrated this in my life. I may not have been praying for His will in my life at this point, but He totally put Christin (my psychologist) in my life at the right time. In April 2006, I got my job at Quintiles, and I started getting my priorities in order. I started attending Hope (my church in Raleigh) on a regular basis, and I was no longer running away.Mike Lee, the pastor, was totally what I needed, and every week he was speaking to me.  I mean, we are talking if he had to pick out a person's name in the congregation, it would have Kelsey Rae Morgan, every Sunday:) It was like the Holy Spirit would speak via Mike to me. I couldn’t get enough; I hated to miss it. I started volunteering in the nursery, and one Saturday evening God put a very special person in my life. I had just bought a new Coach purse, and a girl on the shuttle bus, said “Is that a real coach?” I said, “Yes, I babysat for an entire weekend to pay for it.” She said, “I gave mine up for the Mina project.” Long story short, we instantly clicked, she invited me to her small group, and there I met four girls that will be lifelong friends (Candice – the girl with the Coach – Heather, Kaleena, and Ashley). The year I spent in the small group, totally transformed my walk with God, my relationship with him, but I left out one thing, by the time I met her, I had already signed on the dotted line, and purchased a home in Charlotte… it was time for change.

since i've pretty much exposed it all, you see the weight gain in full effect, yikes

much better, kaleena, candice, heather (a month after giving birth) and ashley

Moving back closer to my family was totally part of His plan. I moved into my townhouse in September 2008. It was nice to be just a 45 minute drive from my parents house and my grandparents. If you read this blog before, you know how close I was to my grandmother. My grandmother passed away, very unexpectedly, in May 2009, so I know that it was a total blessing from God that I had those months to spend time with her. The night my grandfather called me (at 3:15 AM) to tell me that my grandmother has passed away, I remember screaming, crying, and panicking, but at one point, I had this overwhelming peace when I looked at my Bible. I remember thinking grab that, immediately, you are going to need that. I remember reading scripture that week and finding so much comfort in His word.

my sweet grandmother, oh how i miss her

I moved into my townhouse in September 2008, with a renewed spirit, ready to start fresh. I have major control issues, so even though I was praying that God's will would be done, I still had a plan for how my life would turn out now that I had moved to a new city. I started attending Forest Hill, and I quickly joined a Lifegroup, and my lifegroup leader became one of my best friends. I was crossing things off of this to do list, knowing that God was going to bless me, as I thought I was doing everything right.

I got extremely motivated and lost about 50-60 pounds after moving here, and I just knew that God was going to answer my prayers and send me my future husband. After all, in my mind, the only problem was that I was overweight and not attractive to the opposite sex. I've struggled for years with self-confidence, and was so excited that God was answering my prayers and helping me lose this weight, but when you are searching or looking for validation from earthly things and people, believe, God has other plans. I went from a size 16 to a comfortable size 6 (sometimes a size 4), and still haven't been on a date, so I can confidently say that it isn't all about how skinny you are. It is totally a God thing. I still struggle with why it hasn't been in God's plan to send me my future husband, but I know that I have a lot to offer, I know I am a child of God, I know that there is a specific reason that he is having me wait, and I know that life goes on without a man:)

After a year and a half or so of living in Charlotte, I realized that I was searching for my significance in all the wrong places, and that the truth was I didn't know who I was in Christ. As I stated above, I've struggled with confidence and self-esteem my whole life, and to someone who thought she had it all together, this was really tough. I remember I couldn't even tell Kasey and Emily for probably a month and half, I couldn't accept the fact that I had failed, and was once again dealing with depression. I started seeing a counselor again, and she has been absolutely wonderful. There are times when I may not see eye to eye with her, but she has helped me grow tremendously. I think a big thing that God and others have taught me in this past year is that I don't have to be like everyone else, I am Kelsey Morgan, a slow reader, someone who gains a lot from hearing people speak, someone who has to be reminded and told things multiple times, and someone is a little afraid to step out on her own, but is trying to more and more. I know I am God's masterpiece, and that is something that is hard for me to grasp the concept of on a daily basis, but I try to tell myself often.

love each and every one of you, so much

love you dearly, you make life more fun

my life wouldn't have been the same without you

There are so many things I want to accomplish and do, mainly I want to be genuine and make a difference, even in the smallest way.  I want my life to matter, and I want my story to continue to be written by Him:)  As I stated in the beginning, I know that my story is not heart-wrenching or earth-shattering, but He has written it, and I pray that I will let Him continue to do so.

new year:: movie a day club, haha

so, 2011 has started off pretty low key and spent with my close friends, which i have thoroughly enjoyed.  friday night we went to a party at village tavern and rang in the new year, danced a little, and then saturday (new year's day) we lounged around in our pjs, watched football and movies, and ate delicious food cooked by kasey:)  i like to make resolutions/goals or a list of things to do in a new year, because let's face it i am "lists" person and i like to have something to work towards.  i know statistically people do not follow through with their resolutions, but i'd like to think that i do give them a chance, hehe. 

one of the items on my list is to watch some good movies that i haven't ever watched.  i am not sure where i have been, what i was doing when i was younger, or what rock i have been hiding under, but the list of movies made today at lunch by kasey, casey, and grant is so long, i am going to need to subscribe to netflix and maybe exercise while watching, otherwise i will become a couch potato, but it will give me some time to crochet as well:)  regardless, i'll enjoy watching some of these, others i may not, but if you get a wild hair and want to re-watch one of these, call me:)

get ready for this list:

Gladiator
Chocolat
Tommy Boy
Black Sheep
The Patriot
The Bourne Identity
The Bourne Supremacy
The Bourne Ultimatum
The Chronicles of Narnia (The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, Prince Caspian, and The Voyage of Dawn Treader)
Iron Man 1
Iron Man 2
Caddy Shack
Indiana Jones (all of them)
The Matrix
The Matrix Reloaded
The Matrix Revolutions
Sherlock Holmes
IQ
A Walk in the Clouds
Seven
The Usual Suspects
Heat
French Kiss
Big
Saving Private Ryan
City of Angels
Men of Honor
The Rocketeer
Court Jester
Kelly's Heroes
Where Eagles Dare
The Fugitive
Dick Tracy
Dancing with Wolves
Tombstone
World's Fattest Indian
The Saint
Man Without a Face
Goonies
Coming to America
Tootsie
Forever Young
Romancing the Stone
Hunt for Red October
Officer and a Gentleman
Breakfast at Tiffany's
Pretty in Pink
Sixteen Candles
Birds
Rear Window
Pulp Fiction
K-pax
Count of Monte Cristo
Frequency
Overboard
Departed
Lord of the Ring (series)
Star Wars
Shutter Island
Gross Point Blank
Airplane
Braveheart
Schindler's List
The Shawshank Redemption
The Last of the Mohicans
Can't Buy Me Love
Legends of the Fall

I may add more later, but let's be real, I think this is plenty:)