a lot of people probably think (if they have known me a long time) that i work in the field of my dream job, but the truth is, i don't. ten years ago, this was it or very close to it. now, let me first start by saying that i am so INCREDIBLY blessed, and really do enjoy my job, but if i could go back and have a dream job, it would not be in clinical drug research. i think anyone who knows me, knows that i absolutely love kids. i always have, and i know that God has called me to be a mom. until His perfect timing is revealed, i will serve and volunteer with children and enjoy every single minute of it. in fact, i will continue doing so after i become a mom:)
a little background... remember those st. jude commercials when we were younger that had the children with marlo thomas, the daughter of the founder of st. jude, yeah i used to get so wrapped up in those commercials and start crying and crying. i wanted to go visit or play with those kids, but never even knew where st. jude was. my first year after graduating college, i worked in the oncology pharmacy making investigational chemotherapy for patients, which happened to be located on the pediatric floor of the oncology division at unc hospitals. this is where a special interest in pediatric oncology developed. in addition, i had a friend, patrick, who had started volunteering with his girlfiend at the time, now wife, caroline for make a wish as a wish granter. they would travel to wish children's homes and find out what there one wish would be. i thought this was just such an awesome thing that they were doing, and knew i needed to get involved. i tried to get involved in raleigh, but was also going to be moving to charlotte soon, so the timing just didn't work out. after a few years with my company and move to charlotte, i finally started volunteering with make a wish. i even, asked my best friend, holly, to come along and now she is very involved and loves it as well!!!
so, back to the point of the original question in this post... my dream job. if i could have any job, it would be a nurse in pediatric oncology. i know to some this sounds terribly depressing, but the truth is, i would love to get up in the mornings and go work with children, to love on them, to spread God's hope and love with them (in what capacity i could), to make them feel just a little better, to give their parent's a break even just for a minute, to make a difference in the mean world of cancer. i have thought a lot about going back to school for this, but at this time, i know God wants me where I am at. maybe one day this dream will come true, but for now, i will continue to thank God for amazing job that i have now and the difference it is making.
i'll continue to pursue this God given passion by volunteering, and who knows what the future holds:)
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Saturday, May 12, 2012
day 6: the HARDEST thing I've ever had to experience
well, i would first start out by saying that when looking back at my life, I can see God's protection and blessings all throughout, but the hardest thing for me would definitely be May 11-12, 2009. a few weeks before, lindsey had just returned from a year in Africa, so i was on cloud nine having my best friend back in the states, then we celebrated mother's day, like all other traditions with my family (don't ever take these for granted). i wake up on monday morning with a call from my mother telling me that my grandmother (whom i called "mom") was heading to the emergency room with severe stomach pain and wondered if i could meet my grandfather there with my grandmother. i packed up my computer for work and headed there. i am sure i have probably talked about this on my blog, but here goes.
after a day at the hospital, a few tests, the doctor in the ER, basically came in (while i had to leave to take a teleconference for work) to say that she was free to go home that she was just constipated. my grandmother looked as if she was about 5 months pregnant at this point. i arrived back at the ER to see my grandmother wheeling the car around to get her, saying, "we've been sent home." i wasn't 100% comfortable with this, but trusted that the doctor's new what they were doing. they sent her home with magnesium citrate and said she should be better in the morning. after getting back to her house, she continued to be in pain, more sweating and discomfort, but didn't want to go back to the ER. we were giving her the mag. citrate as instructed. i had a work trip to memphis at 6 am the next morning, so she kept telling me to go on, she'd be fine. around 6 pm that evening (on the 11th), she told me to go home and get ready for my trip. i kissed her and told her i loved her, she said, "be careful, love you and call me when you land." i think i could start crying now.
i got home, set my alarm for my trip, which was way to early anyway for this girl, but instead of waking up to my alarm, i woke up to my phone ringing at 3:13 am to the WORST phone call of my life. it was my grandfather telling me that grandmother was dying. i misunderstood him to say that she was dying, and immediately called my mother and said, please get out there NOW. i live at least 45 minutes away, and i don't think my mother understood the urgency (she knows i am a bit dramatic at times), so she was like, okay, we will head out there. i call back a few minutes later, in hysterics, and she is like, i am getting dressed, brushing my teeth, etc... i start freaking out, thinking, nobody cares what your breath smells like, and i tell her to call out there. when she calls, this is when my grandfather clears up my 3:13 am confusion and tells my mother, the worst news of our lives, she isn't dying, she is gone. [ we now know that my grandfather meant to call my mother first, but he accidentally called me first.] if my mother had known or heard from my grandfather first, she would have been in 0.5 second, no question. my dad called me back and all i could hear was my mother screaming and hitting the floor, and that made it ten times worse. as close as i was to my grandmother, this was my own mother's mother. i cannot even imagine the pain she must have been feeling. i literally felt as if someone had taken my breath away. i was shocked. i thought how will we go on without her. i knew i was in no condition to drive. the only two people in the world that i knew could comfort me were crystal and lindsey. lindsey had just returned from africa, so she was actually in new york seeing her brother and sister in law and nieces and nephews. i called crystal's house at 3 something in the morning and she immediately came to get me. i am not sure i will ever be able to thank her enough for that, but i would have done the same for her and still would. she knew how close i was to mom, so when she got to my house, i had never been so thankful to see someone who understood. she lost her grandfather that she was VERY close to our senior year of high school. the next week of my life was somewhat a blur, but i do remember grabbing my Bible while packing a few things to go to lincolnton. i remember thinking, only God is going to be able to get me through this. we aren't 100% sure what she passed away of, but from the little we do know, we think it was a GI bleed. we are pretty certain that the doctor missed a blockage. regardless, i have had to come to terms with a lot of this, as i had tremendous guilt for a while in thinking that if i hadn't left for that teleconference, i could have asked the questions (after all i look at medical records all day long for my job). in the end, i had to trust that this was God's will and that He wanted her in Heaven more than He wanted her here on earth. the truth is, she lived a full life, a great life here. at funeral it was made abundantly clear the impact she had on others. so many people came up to us and told us of the example of a Godly, loving, caring, compassionate, women she portrayed and it comforted me to know that her time on this earth was done. i feel certain that when she got to the pearly gates of Heaven, our Father in Heaven welcomed her by saying, Well done, Good and Faithful Servant. i also know that momaw and popaw abby (her parents, my great grandparents) were probably jumping and cheering, she was their only child.
ironically, i am posting this on the third year mark, since we lost her. i miss her so much. there is so much i want to tell her. i wish i could just pick up that phone and tell her all about what is going on. i would tell her all about my haiti mission trip (and she would be supportive but worry about my safety more than moma, haha), i wish i could tell her about all the foods i now eat that she never thought would happen... she loved avocados and now they are one of my favorite foods, i wish i could tell her about the dates i have been on (she would be excited, but would offer her opinion too, and i would love to hear it), i wish i could tell her about my promotion at work, she would love that she wouldn't have to worry about all my travel, and would gladly tell everyone at magic all about it, and i wish i could tell her just one more time how much i love her. i know she is in a better place. i know that her toes are no longer curled/crossing over one another, i know that she doesn't have to go to the tanning bed (she is perfect just the way she is), i know that she can eat things with seeds and not have to worry about her stomach bothering her, and i also know that she is getting to be a great grandmother in Heaven, for the precious and sweet baby that my sister lost this week.
i cannot wait until we meet again in Heaven:) i love you, MOM and i know Pop and everyone misses you just as much as I do. "love your favorite granddaughter:) " - i kid, i kid!
after a day at the hospital, a few tests, the doctor in the ER, basically came in (while i had to leave to take a teleconference for work) to say that she was free to go home that she was just constipated. my grandmother looked as if she was about 5 months pregnant at this point. i arrived back at the ER to see my grandmother wheeling the car around to get her, saying, "we've been sent home." i wasn't 100% comfortable with this, but trusted that the doctor's new what they were doing. they sent her home with magnesium citrate and said she should be better in the morning. after getting back to her house, she continued to be in pain, more sweating and discomfort, but didn't want to go back to the ER. we were giving her the mag. citrate as instructed. i had a work trip to memphis at 6 am the next morning, so she kept telling me to go on, she'd be fine. around 6 pm that evening (on the 11th), she told me to go home and get ready for my trip. i kissed her and told her i loved her, she said, "be careful, love you and call me when you land." i think i could start crying now.
i got home, set my alarm for my trip, which was way to early anyway for this girl, but instead of waking up to my alarm, i woke up to my phone ringing at 3:13 am to the WORST phone call of my life. it was my grandfather telling me that grandmother was dying. i misunderstood him to say that she was dying, and immediately called my mother and said, please get out there NOW. i live at least 45 minutes away, and i don't think my mother understood the urgency (she knows i am a bit dramatic at times), so she was like, okay, we will head out there. i call back a few minutes later, in hysterics, and she is like, i am getting dressed, brushing my teeth, etc... i start freaking out, thinking, nobody cares what your breath smells like, and i tell her to call out there. when she calls, this is when my grandfather clears up my 3:13 am confusion and tells my mother, the worst news of our lives, she isn't dying, she is gone. [ we now know that my grandfather meant to call my mother first, but he accidentally called me first.] if my mother had known or heard from my grandfather first, she would have been in 0.5 second, no question. my dad called me back and all i could hear was my mother screaming and hitting the floor, and that made it ten times worse. as close as i was to my grandmother, this was my own mother's mother. i cannot even imagine the pain she must have been feeling. i literally felt as if someone had taken my breath away. i was shocked. i thought how will we go on without her. i knew i was in no condition to drive. the only two people in the world that i knew could comfort me were crystal and lindsey. lindsey had just returned from africa, so she was actually in new york seeing her brother and sister in law and nieces and nephews. i called crystal's house at 3 something in the morning and she immediately came to get me. i am not sure i will ever be able to thank her enough for that, but i would have done the same for her and still would. she knew how close i was to mom, so when she got to my house, i had never been so thankful to see someone who understood. she lost her grandfather that she was VERY close to our senior year of high school. the next week of my life was somewhat a blur, but i do remember grabbing my Bible while packing a few things to go to lincolnton. i remember thinking, only God is going to be able to get me through this. we aren't 100% sure what she passed away of, but from the little we do know, we think it was a GI bleed. we are pretty certain that the doctor missed a blockage. regardless, i have had to come to terms with a lot of this, as i had tremendous guilt for a while in thinking that if i hadn't left for that teleconference, i could have asked the questions (after all i look at medical records all day long for my job). in the end, i had to trust that this was God's will and that He wanted her in Heaven more than He wanted her here on earth. the truth is, she lived a full life, a great life here. at funeral it was made abundantly clear the impact she had on others. so many people came up to us and told us of the example of a Godly, loving, caring, compassionate, women she portrayed and it comforted me to know that her time on this earth was done. i feel certain that when she got to the pearly gates of Heaven, our Father in Heaven welcomed her by saying, Well done, Good and Faithful Servant. i also know that momaw and popaw abby (her parents, my great grandparents) were probably jumping and cheering, she was their only child.
ironically, i am posting this on the third year mark, since we lost her. i miss her so much. there is so much i want to tell her. i wish i could just pick up that phone and tell her all about what is going on. i would tell her all about my haiti mission trip (and she would be supportive but worry about my safety more than moma, haha), i wish i could tell her about all the foods i now eat that she never thought would happen... she loved avocados and now they are one of my favorite foods, i wish i could tell her about the dates i have been on (she would be excited, but would offer her opinion too, and i would love to hear it), i wish i could tell her about my promotion at work, she would love that she wouldn't have to worry about all my travel, and would gladly tell everyone at magic all about it, and i wish i could tell her just one more time how much i love her. i know she is in a better place. i know that her toes are no longer curled/crossing over one another, i know that she doesn't have to go to the tanning bed (she is perfect just the way she is), i know that she can eat things with seeds and not have to worry about her stomach bothering her, and i also know that she is getting to be a great grandmother in Heaven, for the precious and sweet baby that my sister lost this week.
i cannot wait until we meet again in Heaven:) i love you, MOM and i know Pop and everyone misses you just as much as I do. "love your favorite granddaughter:) " - i kid, i kid!
Friday, May 11, 2012
day 5: 5 things that make you HAPPY
in no particular order, here are 5 things that make me happy...
1. time with my friends. this is going to be a year full of change, but i am so excited for my friends:) there is nothing that makes me happier than spending quality time with my friends. it doesn't matter if we are just cooking dinner, watching a movie, going to target, laying out by the pool, heading out of town, anything, i am most happy when i am surrounded by the people in my life that God has chosen to bless me with. my friends are my rocks, don't know what i would do without them.
2. country music. i absolutely love to turn country music on really loud and just dance around my house, listen to it while i drive, or go to a country concert. something about it just makes me carefree, happy, and relax. turn on a little jason aldean, chris young, luke bryan, carrie underwood, or so many others, and i am seriously in my happy place.
3. a good class at the gym.... so i have been somewhat out of the loop on working out, but this week i have gotten back into my routine. i forgot how much i love the classes and the way it makes me feel afterward. i do enjoy working out and the soreness that follows! i actually want someone yelling at me telling me what to do to get good results!
4. worship time at new charlotte (i would say this is more joy/closeness with God)... no matter what else is going on in my life, i love singing/worshiping God. it is like for that 20 minutes or so, nothing else matters, the world behind me stops, and i love that! i think so many times, we all get caught up in the chaos of how busy our lives are, so this is another one of my happy times. sometimes i think i would do just fine with a full gospel choir 24:7, i like to dance!!! seriously, love it!
5. doing things i truly enjoy like scrapbooking, crocheting, organizing, etc... i think for many years, i wanted so much to fit in and do what everyone else was doing and not what kelsey wanted to do. when i actually stop and do what i want to do, even if it is by myself, i am so happy. i think we all have different interests and recognizing this has been huge for me. let's face it, i will never be the spokesperson for outdoor world, but i can appreciate a good walk outside, a good hike every now and then, camping occasionally, but there lots of things inside that i also enjoy, and that is okay, that is what makes me ME:)
1. time with my friends. this is going to be a year full of change, but i am so excited for my friends:) there is nothing that makes me happier than spending quality time with my friends. it doesn't matter if we are just cooking dinner, watching a movie, going to target, laying out by the pool, heading out of town, anything, i am most happy when i am surrounded by the people in my life that God has chosen to bless me with. my friends are my rocks, don't know what i would do without them.
2. country music. i absolutely love to turn country music on really loud and just dance around my house, listen to it while i drive, or go to a country concert. something about it just makes me carefree, happy, and relax. turn on a little jason aldean, chris young, luke bryan, carrie underwood, or so many others, and i am seriously in my happy place.
3. a good class at the gym.... so i have been somewhat out of the loop on working out, but this week i have gotten back into my routine. i forgot how much i love the classes and the way it makes me feel afterward. i do enjoy working out and the soreness that follows! i actually want someone yelling at me telling me what to do to get good results!
4. worship time at new charlotte (i would say this is more joy/closeness with God)... no matter what else is going on in my life, i love singing/worshiping God. it is like for that 20 minutes or so, nothing else matters, the world behind me stops, and i love that! i think so many times, we all get caught up in the chaos of how busy our lives are, so this is another one of my happy times. sometimes i think i would do just fine with a full gospel choir 24:7, i like to dance!!! seriously, love it!
5. doing things i truly enjoy like scrapbooking, crocheting, organizing, etc... i think for many years, i wanted so much to fit in and do what everyone else was doing and not what kelsey wanted to do. when i actually stop and do what i want to do, even if it is by myself, i am so happy. i think we all have different interests and recognizing this has been huge for me. let's face it, i will never be the spokesperson for outdoor world, but i can appreciate a good walk outside, a good hike every now and then, camping occasionally, but there lots of things inside that i also enjoy, and that is okay, that is what makes me ME:)
Thursday, May 10, 2012
day 4: 10 things you would say to your 16 year old self
this one could be fun, but here goes:)
1. quit trying to fit in and do what all the popular kids are doing. just be who God created you to be:)
2. quit begging your parents to go to yesterdays... you can have fun other places.
3. don't ditch your best friends and turn on them just because new friends want to hang out.
4. quit being a picky eater:: learn to eat healthier, NOW!!!
5. enjoy high school, it is fun, life is so much easier, and the real world is brutal.
6. enjoy the innocence of being 16, in youth group, in Lincolnton, and don't take it for granted.
7. spend more time with your grandmother, she will be gone one day.
8. be more kind to your parents who provided you with all that they could have, especially when it came to cars ( i gave them Hell about this one).... i see now how hard they worked to give me the very best that they could and i was very unappreciative.
9. enjoy having someone wait on your hand and foot, haha... haven't had that in almost 12 years and not going to lie, i kind of miss moma making us breakfast or having someone bring something when i am sick.
10. last, but probably most important, STAY AWAY FROM JOSH PRICE. he is not worth it and is making you form opinions about your self worth... don't let him shape your opinion of yourself. there are other guys out there, he isn't the only one.
1. quit trying to fit in and do what all the popular kids are doing. just be who God created you to be:)
2. quit begging your parents to go to yesterdays... you can have fun other places.
3. don't ditch your best friends and turn on them just because new friends want to hang out.
4. quit being a picky eater:: learn to eat healthier, NOW!!!
5. enjoy high school, it is fun, life is so much easier, and the real world is brutal.
6. enjoy the innocence of being 16, in youth group, in Lincolnton, and don't take it for granted.
7. spend more time with your grandmother, she will be gone one day.
8. be more kind to your parents who provided you with all that they could have, especially when it came to cars ( i gave them Hell about this one).... i see now how hard they worked to give me the very best that they could and i was very unappreciative.
9. enjoy having someone wait on your hand and foot, haha... haven't had that in almost 12 years and not going to lie, i kind of miss moma making us breakfast or having someone bring something when i am sick.
10. last, but probably most important, STAY AWAY FROM JOSH PRICE. he is not worth it and is making you form opinions about your self worth... don't let him shape your opinion of yourself. there are other guys out there, he isn't the only one.
day 3: describe my relationship with my parents
mi madre ~ well, let's see. i am pretty close to my dear mother. my mother and i have some similar qualities, but for the most part we are pretty different and i love that. i talk to my mother almost every day, if i don't i get a nice text that says, "haven't heard from you since _____ day, you ok?" it is funny, i'd like to say i get annoyed, but truthfully, if she didn't check in, i'd probably be upset with her. a lot of times, i just need to vent/tell someone about my day, she is not a talker, but sure is a great listener and i remind her a lot that she brought me into this world, so she has no choice but to listen to my completely, long-winded, drawn out stories, haha. my mother is extremely loyal, very caring, loves deeply, and would do anything for her family. she is always encouraging me, praying for me, and cries/laughs with me! she didn't plan on having kids, but God had other plans, and for that, i'm very thankful:)
mi padre ~ this is a good one! my dad, is actually my step-dad... who stepped into my life when i was seven years old. at seven, i was less than thrilled about this transition, but at 29, i can't imagine my without him. i have been so blessed that 22 years ago, God decided to choose him as my dad. i have a great relationship with my dad. first of all, being 29 is not married, he is my go to handy man... i know he will be more than thrilled when i get married to be relieved of this duty, but i like the fact that it gives him or sometimes both of my parents a reason to come visit. a lot of times, my dad and i will just call each other up and discuss different things, and i love these convos. it is like we see eye to eye a lot, and maybe my mom and sister see eye to eye a lot... and i am completely okay with that. my dad is the most generous man on the planet, i mean, literally, he would give the shirt off of his back to someone who needed it; i love that about him, and know that my heart to give back definitely came from him:)
i am so blessed, fortunate and thankful to have to wonderful, loving, Christian parents who raised me. i am so glad that i live close enough that i can go visit them when i want and they can make the big trip to the thriving metropolis of Charlotte:)
mi padre ~ this is a good one! my dad, is actually my step-dad... who stepped into my life when i was seven years old. at seven, i was less than thrilled about this transition, but at 29, i can't imagine my without him. i have been so blessed that 22 years ago, God decided to choose him as my dad. i have a great relationship with my dad. first of all, being 29 is not married, he is my go to handy man... i know he will be more than thrilled when i get married to be relieved of this duty, but i like the fact that it gives him or sometimes both of my parents a reason to come visit. a lot of times, my dad and i will just call each other up and discuss different things, and i love these convos. it is like we see eye to eye a lot, and maybe my mom and sister see eye to eye a lot... and i am completely okay with that. my dad is the most generous man on the planet, i mean, literally, he would give the shirt off of his back to someone who needed it; i love that about him, and know that my heart to give back definitely came from him:)
i am so blessed, fortunate and thankful to have to wonderful, loving, Christian parents who raised me. i am so glad that i live close enough that i can go visit them when i want and they can make the big trip to the thriving metropolis of Charlotte:)
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
fears come in all shapes and sizes
so, day 2 of my 30 day assignment is to describe 3 legitimate fears i have and why they became fears, so here goes:
1. if anyone knows me at all, you know this is my number 1 fear in life. i am absolutely terrified that someone is going to break into my house, so much so that i must sleep with all doors closed and with something in front of them. so the item of choice right now, is a step stool that fits perfectly under the door knob and if someone were to try and open it, they wouldn't be able to easily walk into my bedroom at night. in addition, the jewelry amoire is also beside of that, so i have at least provided a bit of a challenge for the person, in my head. now, if there is a fire, this girl is jumping straight out of the window of my second floor bedroom, and i could careless if i have another broken bone to add to the list:) i've thought this through quite thoroughly. i wish i could tell you where this fear came from, but all i can say is that i have had all my life. i grew up in my small hometown on a street that wasn't necessarily the safest, so maybe part of it came from there, but all in all, i think it is just one of those crazy irrational fears that i was born with. my mother thinks i am "silly," but the best part is that my sister is the same way. somehow i am comforted in knowing that i am not the only one like this. i remember kendall and i would always want to sleep in the same room, even though we had separate rooms, because we would be scared, haha. my mother said, we could go to bed in separate rooms, but when she would come get us up in the morning, we would have gotten up in the middle of the night, and got in one or the other's beds. a lot of times, i have to pray that God would protect my house or put an imaginary bubble around me or i will read a passage from the Bible to calm my nerves so i can sleep. also, i have been known to play music to be able to sleep. also, all of my friends know that i have to have my turbo fan going and my sound machine on. bottom line:: i don't want to hear the person, haha.
2. God is definitely working on this one, so it isn't so much a fear anymore, because i trust his plan and as i mentioned yesterday, my life will not be over. i sometimes do fear that i will not get married and have children. my greatest heart's desire is to be a wife and a mom. i know God has called me to be a wife and a mom, but it has not been in His timing yet. i completely trust His plan, but a lot of times i find myself fearful and doubting it, as i get older. the past few months i have come to a place of having such peace about this, because i don't want to be sad, lonely, and bitter about it. i want to live a life full of His great love and share it with others. i don't want people to see my life and think, she was so sad because she isn't/wasn't married. i want people to see that I was doing what God called me to do. after all, we only get one life, so I don't want to waste mine in self pity!
3. i do have a fear of failure. i think early on in my childhood, i knew that i wanted to succeed and make something of myself, and i have worked very hard to get where i am today. i just started a new job, and i am terrified that i am going to fail, but know that if i work hard and give 110% that i will be fine. God has also been working on this area of my life, because no one is going to care what i did as my career at the end of my life. i know that i need to be focusing on the more important things in life, like helping others in need, giving back, etc.
1. if anyone knows me at all, you know this is my number 1 fear in life. i am absolutely terrified that someone is going to break into my house, so much so that i must sleep with all doors closed and with something in front of them. so the item of choice right now, is a step stool that fits perfectly under the door knob and if someone were to try and open it, they wouldn't be able to easily walk into my bedroom at night. in addition, the jewelry amoire is also beside of that, so i have at least provided a bit of a challenge for the person, in my head. now, if there is a fire, this girl is jumping straight out of the window of my second floor bedroom, and i could careless if i have another broken bone to add to the list:) i've thought this through quite thoroughly. i wish i could tell you where this fear came from, but all i can say is that i have had all my life. i grew up in my small hometown on a street that wasn't necessarily the safest, so maybe part of it came from there, but all in all, i think it is just one of those crazy irrational fears that i was born with. my mother thinks i am "silly," but the best part is that my sister is the same way. somehow i am comforted in knowing that i am not the only one like this. i remember kendall and i would always want to sleep in the same room, even though we had separate rooms, because we would be scared, haha. my mother said, we could go to bed in separate rooms, but when she would come get us up in the morning, we would have gotten up in the middle of the night, and got in one or the other's beds. a lot of times, i have to pray that God would protect my house or put an imaginary bubble around me or i will read a passage from the Bible to calm my nerves so i can sleep. also, i have been known to play music to be able to sleep. also, all of my friends know that i have to have my turbo fan going and my sound machine on. bottom line:: i don't want to hear the person, haha.
2. God is definitely working on this one, so it isn't so much a fear anymore, because i trust his plan and as i mentioned yesterday, my life will not be over. i sometimes do fear that i will not get married and have children. my greatest heart's desire is to be a wife and a mom. i know God has called me to be a wife and a mom, but it has not been in His timing yet. i completely trust His plan, but a lot of times i find myself fearful and doubting it, as i get older. the past few months i have come to a place of having such peace about this, because i don't want to be sad, lonely, and bitter about it. i want to live a life full of His great love and share it with others. i don't want people to see my life and think, she was so sad because she isn't/wasn't married. i want people to see that I was doing what God called me to do. after all, we only get one life, so I don't want to waste mine in self pity!
3. i do have a fear of failure. i think early on in my childhood, i knew that i wanted to succeed and make something of myself, and i have worked very hard to get where i am today. i just started a new job, and i am terrified that i am going to fail, but know that if i work hard and give 110% that i will be fine. God has also been working on this area of my life, because no one is going to care what i did as my career at the end of my life. i know that i need to be focusing on the more important things in life, like helping others in need, giving back, etc.
Monday, May 7, 2012
20 random facts about kelsey rae
So, I saw this on a friend's blog and thought this would be a good way to keep me blogging for the next 30 days:: 30 posts in 30 days (the topics are already chosen for me). I'll also blog about other things along the way, as I started my new job today and my work life will not be as chaotic, not as much traveling for this girl!
So, the first day's assignment is 20 random facts about me, i don't think this should be hard, as I am pretty random and have quirks about me, so here's goes!
1. i am absolutely terrified that someone is going to break in my house, so i actually sleep better in hotels (something about feeling more secure)
2. i absolutely love avacados and think that i could try to put it on everything (hamburgers are the best)
3. i cannot go to sleep with dirty dishes in the sink
4. i love to do things for other people (helping people/serving)... i work with the toddlers at my church every sunday, and it brings so much joy to my heart... this is definitely one of my spiritual gifts (encouraging/helping others)
5. i am a neat freak (somewhat obsessive compulsive about cleanliness), but i rarely make my bed
6. country music always makes me smile
7. i am still single at 29, and my world is not sad and depressing... God has blessed me with a great job and amazing friends and family... i am 100% trusting in God's plan and know that His timing is perfect. i cannot wait to be a wife and mom, but my life is not on hold until then, i want to live life to the fullest and enjoy this precious life God has given me:)
8. i absolutely love college football and basketball.... i love watching college gameday on saturdays!
9. i do not have an athletic bone in my body, never played a sport growing up, but i do work out (classes at the gym keep me motivated)
10. i may have every birthday card and christmas card i have ever received (a little sentimental)
11. i do not like to read, but there are a few books i really have loved (kisses from katie, redeeming love, heaven is for real)
12. two of my best friends i have had since elementary school (don't know what i would do without them)
13. i am going sky-diving next week with my mother
14. i do not wear heels (i have a morton's neuroma) and it is so very painful
15. purple is my favorite color
16. the month of december is by far, my favorite month of the whole year
17. i love cold weather and prefer it over the heat (i get excited like a small child, when it snows)
18. i used to drink regular cokes daily (way too many of them) and now i have replaced that with coffee... starbucks and this girl are way too close
19. i love organizing and decorating, real simple is definitely my favorite magazine
20. even though i have traveled quite a bit for my job in the last six years, i haven't ever been to europe and i really want to
So, the first day's assignment is 20 random facts about me, i don't think this should be hard, as I am pretty random and have quirks about me, so here's goes!
1. i am absolutely terrified that someone is going to break in my house, so i actually sleep better in hotels (something about feeling more secure)
2. i absolutely love avacados and think that i could try to put it on everything (hamburgers are the best)
3. i cannot go to sleep with dirty dishes in the sink
4. i love to do things for other people (helping people/serving)... i work with the toddlers at my church every sunday, and it brings so much joy to my heart... this is definitely one of my spiritual gifts (encouraging/helping others)
5. i am a neat freak (somewhat obsessive compulsive about cleanliness), but i rarely make my bed
6. country music always makes me smile
7. i am still single at 29, and my world is not sad and depressing... God has blessed me with a great job and amazing friends and family... i am 100% trusting in God's plan and know that His timing is perfect. i cannot wait to be a wife and mom, but my life is not on hold until then, i want to live life to the fullest and enjoy this precious life God has given me:)
8. i absolutely love college football and basketball.... i love watching college gameday on saturdays!
9. i do not have an athletic bone in my body, never played a sport growing up, but i do work out (classes at the gym keep me motivated)
10. i may have every birthday card and christmas card i have ever received (a little sentimental)
11. i do not like to read, but there are a few books i really have loved (kisses from katie, redeeming love, heaven is for real)
12. two of my best friends i have had since elementary school (don't know what i would do without them)
13. i am going sky-diving next week with my mother
14. i do not wear heels (i have a morton's neuroma) and it is so very painful
15. purple is my favorite color
16. the month of december is by far, my favorite month of the whole year
17. i love cold weather and prefer it over the heat (i get excited like a small child, when it snows)
18. i used to drink regular cokes daily (way too many of them) and now i have replaced that with coffee... starbucks and this girl are way too close
19. i love organizing and decorating, real simple is definitely my favorite magazine
20. even though i have traveled quite a bit for my job in the last six years, i haven't ever been to europe and i really want to
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